Posted by jay on January 20, 2005, at 13:48:26
In reply to Re: Loss...Like a Vapor Trail » jay, posted by Dinah on January 19, 2005, at 16:32:04
> I'm sorry, Jay. There's nothing I can say other than it stinks.
>
> One good thing about *knowing* is that at an ideal, it can give you some really really special time together. After my father figured out how ill he was, he did things he had never done before. Apologized to me when he said something hurtful. Told me he loved me.
>
> My therapist says that people usually die the way they lived. It sounds as if your father lived well. Cherish the time you have together, and make it special.
>
> Don't worry about the child for your father. It's not something to rush. Your best monument to your father will be the man *you* are. I'm doing my darndest to see that things my father cared about are being taken care of the way he'd want it done. It's not easy, but it's my way of honoring him.
>
>Dinah,
Thank you for your post. A book I sugggest to all/anyone (esp. those in grieving) is "Tuesday's With Morrie" It's not a long book, but packed with a powerful, very smart and meaningful true story. Have a look....
Anyhow, yes, I take the time with my Dad, every single moving second, and capture it and hold it deep inside me. Even if we are sitting there not even talking.
I guess I was very lucky because my Dad always did extraordinary things for me. 35 years of those memories are like a secret touch on the heart. That chain of memories, those things, will never, ever be broken.
Everyone, I mean *everyone*, say's my Dad and I are just alike...they recognize all of the million little parts the second they get to see both of us. Like you said, I guess my best monument to him is to *keep on being like that*...keep on being me...true to myself. It's great that you can model things after what your father cared about too. That counts....that counts *A LOT*! Maybe more than you will ever know. Don't forget that!
Sincerely,
Jay
poster:jay
thread:444307
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20041230/msgs/444716.html