Posted by dde on October 28, 2003, at 0:36:00
In reply to Re: Has anyone else here lost a child? » Carol F, posted by rickoshay on October 15, 2003, at 8:51:23
I, too, have lost a child. He was a beautiful 10 year old redhead, with gorgeous brown eyes and the sweetest smile. Suicide, after taking Effexor XR for ADHD. I have tried to warn other parents about this medication and have basically been "shut down" by Dr. Bob when I make any mention of this medication or Wyeth. Now Wyeth has sent out its own "DEAR DOCTOR" letter telling doctors to get kids off this stuff before there are more deaths or attempts of suicide. Thanks, Dr. Bob, for being there for the pharmecutical company and not the patients....I am certain they appreciate it.
I just want to say that losing a child had been the most difficult thing I had done in my life to that date...I find that keeping his siblings alive and moving through the grieving/guilt process without losing them too has been equally as difficult.
My arms ache to hold my baby boy, every sense has been affected...his smell after a long day playing in the sun, the feel of his hand in mine as we walked or drove anywhere, the feel of his fuzzy little forehead as I kissed it in his sleep, tucking his arms under the blankets and wishing him sweetest dreams, the taste of death as I tried to resusecitate him, begging him to breathe.
I accept he is not with me physically, but he will always be my little boy, will always have his picture on my wall and we will meet at our special place on the given day and I will hold him again. Faith is what I hold on to...that and the memories.
My heart goes out to those who are also grieving. I can say that my motto used to be "This, too, shall pass." Shakespeare. It is now "I know the Lord will not give me more than I can handle today, I just wish he didn't trust me so much." when it feels like I am getting more than my share I turn to him. This warrior is His child.
poster:dde
thread:266460
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20030903/msgs/274131.html