Posted by PHV on October 15, 2003, at 23:18:36
In reply to Re: Has anyone else here lost a child? » Carol F, posted by rickoshay on October 15, 2003, at 8:51:23
My little sister passed away over thirty years ago very unexpectedly at the very young age of 17 months. She was the forth of four girls. I am now the youngest. My parents marriage fell apart shortly after that and they divorced. I often tried to discuss my sister with my mom, but she shuts it off. She has pictures of all of hers and her new husbands kids around her house - except of my little sister. I've tried to give them to her - only to find they are no longer there. I don't want to push on her. Losing a child is the most difficult loss a person could ever experience.
Last summer my mother and father and his wife came to town for my Grandmother's funeral. Even though this was the paternal grandmother, my mother gave her granchildern and they remained very close over the years. After an end to an absolute gut wrenching day, we all stopped to see my lillte sister gravesite. My mother fell apart for the first time in over 30 years. I think she finally felt safe that her children and her baby's father was right by her side sobbing sway with her. Finally - she seemed to find some long lost solace she'd been searching years for. Perhaps allowing herself to breakdown in my fathers arms - because they are the only two who know what it felt like to lose their daughter.
As difficult as it was for me to see my mother so disturbed, I see that she's finally facing the loss after all these years and starting to come to terms with it rather than burying it deep inside.
I'm not a parent - but for the last 30+ years I have watched my mother struggle with this issue as best she could When she finally allowed herself to breakdown with the people who were there with her all these years - she was finally able to become somewhat more accepting and has brought about a sense of peace in her life that I've never seen before.
Losing a loved one - let alone a beautiful, innocent child - leaves me speechless . . .
I wish for those of you suffering to keep the faith in our Lord. I also truly believe that I have my own personal guardian angel out there who has helped me get through some of the most difficult situations in my life. She was always there.
I pray you find peace and contentment in your heart. Please believe in your faith. That is often the only thing we can grasp onto that makes sense.
God Bless You,
Patty
poster:PHV
thread:266460
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20030903/msgs/269866.html