Posted by rayww on September 15, 2003, at 9:58:26
In reply to Grief, Sadness, loss or just depression?, posted by KayJ on September 15, 2003, at 8:51:32
> First, let me say that I have read all of the posts on this board and I am wishing peace for all. I think that is what I am looking for.
>>>If it is peace you are looking for, try turning to God, the author of peace. I don't know if you have a belief or not, but those who do cannot deny that God's peace is real and available to all who seek diligently.
> I just can't seem to "get over" the loss of my parents..my father died 11 yrs ago and my mother died 9 yrs ago. They both died from cancer..with lots of suffering and I was basically the caregiver. They were fairly young 66, 65. I have one brother who lives out of state..and really was not part of it. I see him rarely..mostly only a phone call every yr or two : )
<<<life altering loss is something that in time you can learn to live with comfortably. You went through a great deal in a short period of time. sometimes, just a little bit of support goes a long way in sustaining you. Choose your support carefully. Take what you need from people. They usually will not mind, and if they do, they are really not true supportive friends. Take whatever you can from us here.> I just can't seem to get over the sadness..or feeling that I have a great big hole in my life. I keep trying to fill it with others..or other things, but it still remains just below the surface, ready to choke me with emotion at unsuspecting times. Everyone loses their parents..so why can't I get past this? I go to the cemetery and cry like a baby. What I wouldn't give to spend one more day with them. I really have none of my family left..except for my wonderful husband and children..I know those are very different relationships...but I should be grateful for what I have. I guess I am just a big baby : )
<<<I call these "moments" feel, sink, release moments. Do not fight back the tears. When the grief monster strikes, welcome it, feel it, sink into it as deep as you can, rest there until you feel like releasing it again, and let it pass through you. These episodes will eventually become fewer and farther apart, and who knows, you may even miss them because they connect you to your grief. My father has been gone over 30 years. I had one of those moments a couple of weeks ago and was grateful for it.Many will say belief makes a great difference. If you believe your parents live on and are preparing a place for you as they watch over you, it may give you the courage and faith you need to carry on. Develop a spiritual awareness of your immediate surroundings. Do you recognize your parents sense of humor, or their ways of expressing love? Take note of similar moments around you, and pause to say, "thanks dad or mom". Talk to your father and mother in heaven, and those words will enter heaven as prayers because what you say to your father in heaven would be the same as you would say to Father in heaven. Just some little things I have picked up on over the years.
poster:rayww
thread:260183
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20030903/msgs/260200.html