Posted by Racer on July 12, 2006, at 23:13:30
In reply to Re: Is self esteem different than self worth?, posted by curtm on July 11, 2006, at 12:34:51
>
> Imagine this thought (it actually scares me)...
> If you were to die today, what remains in, say your desk or even your pocket would you have left and would they be tarnishing to your honor? (No, meds aren't)
>You know, this and what Dinah posted about living life so that if what you did was splashed across the headlines you wouldn't be ashamed, brought something up for me. I would be ashamed of much of what I've experienced. I try very hard to be kind to others, and to be someone I would want to know, but there are still many things I would hide over.
I'd want to hide how sloppy I am, how lazy, howgenerally pathetic I am. I'd hate for people who know me to find out that I'm taking classes at a jr college, for instance. Because I'm ashamed that I don't have a degree, because I'm ashamed of what it says about my life that I don't, etc. I'm ashamed that I've been involuntarily hospitalized. I'd hate for anyone to know about that. I'm even ashamed that I'm only thin sometimes because I'm anorexic. Don't get me wrong, when I'm thin, I'm very proud of being thin, but I'm still ashamed that I'm anorexic. I should be thin *and* not anorexic.
But I do try to live with honor. I may not call it that, because I tend to focus on other people more, how I treat them, so I call it kindness.
It's a good concept, and thank you for bringing it in.
poster:Racer
thread:664913
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060706/msgs/666564.html