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Sisyphus--Excellent analogy for this disease! » Sarah T.

Posted by Chris O on March 24, 2005, at 13:56:24

In reply to Re: 5HTP for obsessiveness » Chris O, posted by Sarah T. on March 23, 2005, at 23:42:58

Sarah:

I like your Sisyphus analogy for depression.
I often feel the same way, in regards to my anxiety, worrying, and panic. Let's see, in terms of SSRIs, yeah, I did get a feeling of amotivation on them. In 2000, I was on a Celexa/Wellbutrin combo for most of the year and I felt emotionally stunted, if I remember correctly. Last year, I was on Lexapro for most of the year, and I just felt tired and blah most of the time. However, probably the biggest reasons I have gone on and off SSRIs are: 1) weight gain and 2) the ones I have taken don't really fully address my anxiety correctly. In addition, I worry about the pharmaceuticals damaging my health (liver, etc.) over time. I don't know. I am truly at the end of my rope though. If I didn't have a very supportive significant other, I would be forced to be on SSRIs because...I would not be able to function "in the world" otherwise. As to exercise, yeah, I try to do it consistently. Right now, I ride my bike as much as possible. I have a little 10 mile ride I go near our house; sometimes, I go everyday, sometimes not. I have to force myself to exercise. And, while it does provide a little anxiety relief, it's nothing huge. I am a 38 now; when I was in my twenties, I exercised much more vigorously (riding my bike from San Diego to San Francisco and back, to Palm Springs and back, participating in biathalons, etc.), but that never fully conquered my anxiety either. I was still a nervous wreck even when exercising fairly heavily. It's possible if I did triathalons or something hardcore of that nature, I might get a drug-like effect from exercise, but what's the difference between being addicted to exercise or being addicted to something else. I just want this damn disease to go away. Anyway, I guess you can call me Sisyphus too, because I feel like I'm rolling that rock up the hill everyday over and over as well.

Much luck,
Chris


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