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Re: ..

Posted by alexandra_k on September 4, 2012, at 1:27:16

In reply to Re: .., posted by alexandra_k on September 4, 2012, at 1:22:09

and i'm still cured.

there is that, i suppose.

i would like a job sometimes. something that makes me feel productive. like i'm contributing positively to society.

but maybe there isn't any such thing.

i applied to med school. got shortlisted. didn't get in. because of the math now, i realize. because of the math. i couldn't have done it.

i'm learning anatomy...
physiology. kicked *ss at physiology, actually. guess it's because it ain't nothing compared to neuroscience...
learning a lot on my own. would like to be a physical therapist but for the whole i can't really study anymore after this year thing... and i don't know that we have that course anyways...

would like to be a physiotherapist but for the math.

oh wells.

if i could do the math i'm sure there would be something else with some other problem.

i feel sad that i feel like i'm wasted somehow. i must have good useful skills - right? i mean i'm kinda smart and i've spent a lot of time working hard on stuff. and a lot of time working hard with a passionate intense focus. i must have stuff that is good for society - right? why can't i get a job using some of that?

but i don't know what it is good for... and the stuff i apply for i don't get...

so i don't know.

i feel worthless much of the time. can't get an entry level job in much of anything... lack experience. and then i get that temper tantrum thing going on when things move too slowly / i'm bored. so things that are easy for others are next to impossible for me. and people don't like that very much.

so i'm not sure what i can do, really.

maybe nothing.

i dunno.

 

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