Posted by Solstice on December 22, 2010, at 16:40:20
In reply to Re: Assumptions are presumptuous, posted by violette on December 21, 2010, at 12:45:02
> "You live inside my head and have personal knowledge of what I'm 'attempting to do'... "
>
> You did say that Alex was referring to you-its your words above...I was saying-I thought she was referring to the forum in general-not you. She never said your name. You tell everyone to not make assumptions about others, but that is what I see you doing, often.We all have to make some assumptions, but it's important to KNOW they are assumptions, and to not make judgments about someone based on our assumptions.
Problems develop when we treat our assumptions as if they are fact or 'truth,' and then react toward the other person based on the judgments we've made about them that are based on assumptions we've made about them, their motives, etc. I am certainly not immune from stepping off track, but it is high priority of mine to remain conscious and aware at all times that the assumptions I have to make due to lack of certainty are just assumptions, and when confirmation or clarification is provided, I am the first one to adjust my impressions.
This is an important reason why that it works best to interpret things as charitably as possible. Giving people the benefit of the doubt is not likely to make anything worse - and if a more negative interpretation turns out to be more accurate, it will show itself again - probably sooner rather than later. As Muff said, it's about giving the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise.
> Anyway, I never could get through your message....but I noticed one thing you said and you're right - no guesses.? I'm not sure what that means.
> When I read your very first post here, I actually thought maybe you were Dr. Bob posing as a new person to 'save' his forum! Crazy? If you go back to your first post, maybe you'd see how that was possible...or maybe it is crazy.Yeah, it's crazy. I am not Bob. I've never met him, have never spoken to him, and probably know less than you do about him. And further, I really cannot imagine Bob creating an alter to walk amongst us as one of us. There's just too much that he's done and said that tells me that he'd be more likely to just pull the plug than to create an alter.
> But I have noticed its getting so structured and formal here, it's difficult to have a casual conversation with anyone. Sometiems you have to read a S.O.P....some have to take grammar classes..still some have to be educated in political science!!!I don't agree. I think the conversatios that take place her are immensely varied. Some are highly intellectual and leave me dizzy! (i.e. Scott explaining the chemical actions in medications). I'm definitely out of my league with some of that - but I am often intrigued to look into the ones that interest me. And then there is every sort of casual conversation immaginable on here - people talking about grandbabies, travels, the impact of their pets on their wellbeing, job hunting, and Deneb's occassional posts about how much she enjoys her affection for Dr. Bob. So I really can't relate to the way it feels to you there - and although your perception is every bit as valid as mine, I don't think yours is 'fact' and mine is not.
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:973963
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101201/msgs/974313.html