Posted by Dr. Bob on November 28, 2010, at 17:50:08
In reply to Re: some kind of Elders Council, posted by muffled on November 10, 2010, at 11:19:57
> Can you imagine what it feels like to post something personal in an attempt to receive support, and see that post used to hurt you on Admin because you're a hated deputy? Can you imagine how it feels to be the target of rage, when your only goal was to help the people who are angry with you? Can you imagine how it feels to be on the receiving end of belittlement, contempt, and outright threats?
>
> If you can, you might understand better ... why former deputies might feel ... a desire to warn others of the pain and fear that can come from putting yourself on the firing line, even from the best of motives.> I forgot to mention former friends becoming former friends because you're a deputy.
>
> Or people saying yes, they might at one time have felt friendly with you, but they can't anymore because you're a deputy and a minion of Bob.
>
> DinahI've always been ambivalent about the deputy role because of that. Maybe it would be cleaner to require deputies to give up the poster role.
My guess is members of some kind of Elders Council would be less likely to be seen as my "minions".
--
> As for correction from Bob, I would much prefer a gentle reminder, or even a somewhat heated discussion with a trusted friend over something. Then, if I got unruly, my friend could say I needed to cool off, rather than an unexpected slap upside the head, and no discussion, from Bob.
Exactly. But even trusted friends may be afraid that if they get involved, they'll be seen as my minions.
> SOME discussion, even a litle heated discussion can be VERY useful. But with Bobs rules there is a tendency to keep everything surface and so-called 'safe'. There's no depth really.
> Heated discussions can be stressful, and hurtful if it goes too far, but they can also be super helpful.
> Heated discussions in a group of people in which the core group trust each other can be so fruitful, and when the dust settles, and sorrys are said, the bonds are stronger. I want to be able to be 'real', not just surface.
>
> muffledThe key is trust. Will there be trust if posters are uncivil to each other and let each other be slapped upside the head?
Bob
a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind -- The New York Times
backpedals well -- PartlyCloudy
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:964630
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101014/msgs/971633.html