Posted by muffled on November 10, 2010, at 11:19:57
In reply to Re: some kind of Elders Council » muffled, posted by Dinah on November 10, 2010, at 10:35:13
> You're focusing on Dr. Bob's part of it again, rather than the pain caused by posters.
* I know it was bad Dinah, I am sorry :( I always hated that you were treated differently by some. But to me, that was 'their' 'stuff' showing, no reflection on you.
I hated it when Bob didn't back you guys up. That made me SO angry. He abandoned you guys. (can you tell I have abandonment issues?! :-/
But Bob was ultimately, fully in the position of authority and it was HIS JOB TO do a better job with working WITH you deputies. He did NOT do a good job, and you guys were left to swing in the wind.... :(
I focus on Bob, cuz HE is my issue....not the posters, not the deputies. He is the core issue cuz he is the one with ALL the control here. To give him credit, he does not deny this. But I do not like it.
> You're reiterating that we were minions. Does that excuse the behavior of posters?*Absolutely NOT! We are responsible for our actions. As a different spin on this, I have 'parts', I am not DID, just DD, but I still have parts that can function and I can't stop them. They will do things I do NOT agree with sometimes(rarely fortunately) BUT, even tho it was not 'I' that did a certain thing(eg spaz at my T in a nasty way), I still also hold myself responsible for any actions that come from this body. So you can see, I think we each are all responsible for our actions.
The problem I have with Bob, is that he doesn't give us much of a chance to make repair in our own ways(which can be very different indeed). We must fit into his rigid ways, which truly, only he seems to fully understand...:(
Again, yes, some posters dissapointed me at times in their talk of the deputies, but they were in a different position. The deputies got far more than they signed up for....:( They had alot more responsibility dumped on them than was initially understood was the job. Bob loves to delegate, but not give up his own absolute control.
ab·so·lute adj \ˈab-sə-ˌlüt, ˌab-sə-ˈ\
Definition of ABSOLUTE
1a : free from imperfection : perfect <it is a most absolute and excellent horse Shakespeare> b : free or relatively free from mixture : pure <absolute alcohol> c : outright, unmitigated <an absolute lie>
2: being, governed by, or characteristic of a ruler or authority completely free from constitutional or other restraint <absolute power>
3a : standing apart from a normal or usual syntactical relation with other words or sentence elements <the absolute construction this being the case in the sentence this being the case, let us go> b of an adjective or possessive pronoun : standing alone without a modified substantive <blind in help the blind and ours in your work and ours are absolute> c of a verb : having no object in the particular construction under consideration though normally transitive <kill in if looks could kill is an absolute verb>
4: having no restriction, exception, or qualification <an absolute requirement> <absolute freedom>
5: positive, unquestionable <absolute proof>
6a : independent of arbitrary standards of measurement b : relating to or derived in the simplest manner from the fundamental units of length, mass, and time <absolute electric units> c : relating to, measured on, or being a temperature scale based on absolute zero <absolute temperature>; specifically : kelvin <10° absolute>
7: fundamental, ultimate <absolute knowledge>
8: perfectly embodying the nature of a thing <absolute justice>
9: being self-sufficient and free of external references or relationships <an absolute term in logic> <absolute music>> Do you really think you'd be ok being on the receiving end of that from posters while you weren't ok with an impersonal admin action from Dr. Bob? Dr. Bob hasn't treated you with any attempt to cause you pain. How would it feel if he had?
I don't refute what you say Dinah, as you recall, I often defended the deps at risk of being included as a minion of Bobs. I frequently said I MUCH prefferred the deps decsions over Bobs. I could understand the deps, i could not understand Bob.
And yes, it would hurt :( Very much.
As for correction from Bob, I would much prefer a gentle reminder, or even a somewhat heated discussion with a trusted friend over something. Then, if I got unruly, my friend could say I needed to cool off, rather than an unexpected slap upside the head, and no discussion, from Bob.
And for all that I seem to Bob bash....its not "Bob" that I am bashing per se. I have said before that I do not dislike him. I find him interesting, and his quirky ways can be fun.
BUT, I DO have a problem with his blindness as to the functioning of this site.
I think it could be a great site, if Bob would let go of the reigns some.
SOME discussion, even a litle heated discussion can be VERY useful. But with Bobs rules there is a tendency to keep everything surface and so-called 'safe'. There's no depth really.
Heated discussions can be stressful, and hurtful if it goes too far, but they can also be super helpful.
Heated discussions in a group of people in which the core group trust each other can be so fruitful, and when the dust settles, and sorrys are said, the bonds are stronger. I want to be able to be 'real', not just surface.
Bob doesn't allow for that, its very narrow and admin is capricious here.ca·pri·cious adj \kə-ˈpri-shəs, -ˈprē-\
Definition of CAPRICIOUS
: governed or characterized by caprice : impulsive, unpredictableAnd Dinah FWIW, I think you make good reasoned thinking.
LOL, but methinks you got a wee blind spot for Bob :)
Least parts of you do.
Others, no so much.
Which is why you are more balanced, and I like that.
I respect that.
I respect you.
Parts can be good!
:)
poster:muffled
thread:964630
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101014/msgs/969603.html