Posted by alexandra_k on November 18, 2010, at 15:51:48
In reply to Re: Number of blocks, posted by alexandra_k on November 14, 2010, at 1:51:24
In lifting I feel merged with something far greater than myself. I'm engaging in an activity that many others have practiced, the significant majority being far, far, stronger than me. I suppose I used to get that with philosophy. Only with philosophy most of the papers are (IMHO) lackluster at best. The necessary products required for promotion and often reading them (IMHO) is a waste of time (including reading my own). So many people worrying about things that (I've realized) are misguided or based on false assumptions (so not really contributing towards progress) or simply things that I don't care about. I've lost my passion for argument (in the formal sense). And maybe even in the informal sense, too, I don't know. Argument feels empty. And I guess W. always said that it was. Logic (if valid) says no more than p=p. I used to find it beautiful. The additional complexities to make p=p seem (if not be) cognitively significant. Informative. Like a beautiful structure. Music or something. But not anymore. I realize it feeds my rumination. My depression, really.
Much has been written about 'runners high'. The feeling people report from endurance cardio. Kicks in at about the 20 minute mark. I get that, I do, but not to the extent of some people (the people really into cardio, I guess). I get something different (different for me) in lifting weights. Sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes. Working close to my one rep max a significant high kicks in. The only other time I've experienced that feeling is when I've taken methamphetamine. Unmistakable best feeling in the world for about 20 seconds then it passes. But sometimes I get it for a series of about 10 lifts. Wonderful. And I find something aesthetic in lifting. 'Barbell training is the fundamental expression of human anatomy under a load' (Ripptoe - 'Starting Strength'). There are constraints on perfect form (such as maintaining your lumbar curve etc) but each individuals perfect form is different from each other individuals because our limb lengths (and other factors) are all unique. Watching someone lift with perfect form is... Beautiful. The fundamental expression of human anatomy.
I'm suspecting that emotional instability issues have a lot to do with the endocrine system. One of the things I'm becoming much more aware of (my age? the fact that I've been off the pill for a while now?) is how my mood fluctuates according to my cycle. Not just the 'PMS' thing. Not just the 'bad days'. But also the 'good days'. The days when I'm feeling (emotionally, socially, physically) on top of the world. Where I can rise to challenges. Heavy lifting (in compound / full body exercises) alters your hormonal profile. Increased growth stimulating hormone. Also increased testosterone. I think us women have been a bit short-changed when it comes to testosterone. Apparently the times when (I at least) feel good are the times when I'm most hormonally similar to men. No fair!!! Thats the way guys feel all the time!!! I guess we don't know a lot about hormones. I do have some things that indicate high testosterone (hair, acne) but my levels when tested were normal. They said my skin was 'extra sensitive' (there is some stuff on having more receptors that might be a mechanism to explain this) but maybe people can be 'extra sensitive' to normal levels of hormone production in other ways. Especially if the levels have been suppressed or elevated due to, I don't know, extreme repeated distress or some such.
There was this awful study that was done on squat depth a while ago now. Some doc poked peoples knees to see how unstable they were. He poked at the knees of people who squatted above parallel and those who squatted below. He found that those who squatted below had more unstable knees according to his poke test. Trouble was he asked them how they squatted before he poked and he only had his subjective finding of instability rather than an objective indicator. This study was cited by others when they stated that squatting below parallel was bad for your knees. Then those studies and the original were cited... And so on... So the 'common wisdom' was accepted even though the citations can be traced back to that one, dodgy study. A lot of people like to think that squatting below parallel hurts your knees because they lack the mobility to do the exercise. Or because they eliminate the hardest part of the exercise thus being able to move more weight by cutting the range of motion short (they also change it from a quad/glute/hamstring exercise to a quad exercise).
Dan John has something funny that he says when athletes claim that squatting below parallel hurts their knees. He asks them to squat and then (invariably) says 'son, squatting (below parallel assumed) doesn't hurt your knees. Whatever it is that you are doing is hurting your knees'. The point being that bad form can hurt your knees (bad form tends to hurt things which is why it is considered bad form). Olympic lifters invariably squat below parallel. They don't seem to have problems with their knees. Powerlifters invariably squat below parallel (though not as low as Olympic lifters). They don't seem to have problems with their knees. Common gym wisdom (for coaches like Dan John) is that the 'scientific orthodoxy' is wrong. Orthodoxy being: A) Squatting below parallel hurts your knees (many people are cited for evidence on this - the significant majoritiy tracing back to that one dubious study). B) Not quite sure where this one came from - your knees coming out in front of your toes is bad for your knees. Which is odd, really, because your knees come out in front of your toes for quite a lot of things. Jumping. Walking up stairs etc.
Gym wisdom is that what is important (for not hurting your knees) is keeping your knees in line with your toes. So now we have an additional factor - stance width, where your toes are pointing (e.g., forwards, pointing out slightly etc) and where your knees go when you squat. But maybe that is too hard to model. I was chatting to my theoretical physicist friend the other day (yeah, go figure) and said I'd like to build a model (ya know, to avoid all the math). Then he started to go on about what kind of material the bones would need to be made of and how you could use rubber bands for muscles (or the damn model couldn't stand up) etc (but now altering limb length and employing muscular tension is going to become hard)... Maybe a mathematical model would be better after all... And you can fix known parameters (e.g., degrees of rotations for joints, 'normal' limb length variations only etc) Odd... But I've kind of got it into my head to build something... Or to attach resistance bands to one of those plastic skeletons you find somethings.... Some really complicated puppet. I dunno...
Sprinters can run with prosthetic limbs (which is more than I can do with my feet). I wonder if they could do weightlifting? Hmm... Ankles are tricky joints. Blah. I need to go do grading. Can ya tell???
I do miss the writing board. INtermittently. Oh well.
P.S., I think I'm falling in love. Only the whole 'in love' thing is probably just me being too intense (I have a habit of being in case you didn't notice). My coach (one of the dudes at the gym who is helping me out with my lifting). He is really kind and emotionally sensitive and a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to form (aka a 'form Nazi'). All things I find quite sweet. And he lifts beautifully. And he is strong. And he is really smart, too. Not in the graduate student sense, but in the 'I actually care a lot about health and getting stronger / fitter' sense. Sexual tension is almost unbearable for me at times (of the month in particular lol). But there is definitely chemistry. And he is fun to flirt with and good to talk to (e.g., when I'm worrying about something new or whatever). I think... Over time... We are getting to know each other a bit more. What we want out of life. What gets us passionate. Etc. I... Am learning a lot about slowing the f*ck down rather than acting from impulse (and then wondering why things go horribly wrong). He is calming and solid. I think something might develop in time... But I'm also thinking that even if it doesn't, what we have now is nice. Good for my self confidence to think that someone like him (who I think is so amazing both mentally and physically) could be mentally and physically attracted to me (even if it is the sort of attraction you have with many people).
Sometimes I get scared that I feel too much and he is playing with me / leading me on / sort of laughing at me. I guess that is about trust. To feel something... In the face of just enjoying the moment and there being ambiguity about the future, ambiguity about whether it will ever happen again, ambiguity about what things 'really mean'. Just to be... To back off (in a sense). To open up (in a sense). To calm the f*ck down (in a sense). He'll either eventually decide that he wants to spend more time with me than the training time we have... Or not... I think I'm growing as a person either way. I want to be a better person. And... I worry I'll f*ck him up, yeah. Anyway... Back to grading...
I'm happy and sad at the same time.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:969738
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101014/msgs/970690.html