Posted by Solstice on November 9, 2010, at 1:01:10
In reply to Re: realistic possibilities-yeah, sure :(, posted by muffled on November 8, 2010, at 15:30:11
> *Often we here don't even *understand* what the fr*g your reasoning is....and sometimes there's warnings, and sometimes not....
> I can get myself blocked, but oftimes people don't even understand WHY they are being blocked, and they can't prevent what they don't understand.I feel the passion in Muff's sentiment here... it's almost an outcry. From my foxhole, I think the difficulty for blocked members in understanding how they got there is the biggest reason that:
1. Blocks frequent, long, and are often ineffective in causing the one blocked to follow site guidelines when they return and
2. The pain runs deep in this community regarding the blocking issue.
Members getting blocked and re-blocked to the point that they are running into these 12-month things is because they DON'T understand how they got there. These are good people. Many of them are in therapy. People in therapy are generally interested in growing and learning to cope better with impairments they didn't ask for. If a member understood what was getting them blocked - most would not keep falling into it. But many genuinely do not... because the modeling they got growing up was awful... because they have biological vulnerabilities that affect their behavior over which they have much less control than they would otherwise... because they have suffered so many injuries in life that they have not yet found the balanced state one has to maintain in order to consistently color between the lines here.
I have an idea that I believe will maintain Dr. Bob's civility principles as they are, without causing the disruption, the pain, and the eternal blocks. I suggest some kind of "Mediator" system - with the members who have demonstrated wisdom in these things serving as Mediators - to step in and assist a member who has violated the guidelines - - to help calm the fires and bring the 'infractor' back 'into the fold' by walking with them thru it, modeling reparatory work, etc.
Blocks could be reserved for those who refuse to participate (for whatever reason) in that process.
Dr. Bob - part of your purpose in the current blocking system is that members learn more appropriate behavior, and that members assist each other. The current system is not really serving your purposes. I think the kind of system I'm thinking of might.
Solstice
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:965628
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101014/msgs/969335.html