Posted by SLS on June 7, 2009, at 3:33:24
In reply to Re: It can be tricky...., posted by greywolf on June 7, 2009, at 0:17:32
> I guess I am somewhat confused. Why is posting without offending other people so tricky? I've posted here for years and probably have hundreds of posts out there, and I don't think I've even received a PBC.
>
> I'm not lauding myself for some accomplishment, I'm just honestly scratching my head at why posting appropriately is apparently so difficult. Admittedly, I tend to post on the Medications page, and I would guess that that page probably generates fewer conversations that could become problematic. But when I do see a discussion thread start to turn into an argument or I receive a post with comments that are impolite, my partipation usually ends because the chances of something positive developing are clearly diminishing.
>
> That's part of the reason for my first post in this thread. I don't think the civility rules are that hard to comply with. I may not agree with them or with particular enforcement actions, but it's not my site, so it's not my place to interfere. And before anyone accuses me of not having experienced a Babbler I like being banned, believe me, it's happened. And I think the deputies can confirm that occasionally I have tried to offer constructive solutions to certain situations.
>
> So, I return to my original remark: I love this place despite the rules. And I love the people in it, including everyone--everyone--in this thread regardless of anything that has been said in it.
>
> Greywolf
Good words. Sincere and positive and constructive.I am currently having a very difficult time not sharing my thoughts and feelings with people here along this thread because I know they would be judged uncivil. It is almost worth a posting block to be able to do so. I guess you could say that most of this impulse represents a personal problem. However, much of it also represents administration issues. It would include what the rules of civility on this site define as accusations: postulation of cause and effect, theory of mind, evaluations of wants and desires, gauging justice, judging intentions and motivations,and a whole bunch of other stuff. It would be so cool to debate and argue without any limitations, right?
I would love to play in this sandbox. We could have pretend rodeos or ultimate fighting. Alas, it was taken away from me long ago. The guidelines of civility have grown on me, however. My weakness in evaluating the system here lies in not fully understanding the desirability of the punitive protocol as it currently exists.
I can hear it now...
Scott has no empathy. He displays no sensitivity to how PB has ruined people's lives.
If you play in the sandbox, you will get dirty. If you can tolerate the dirt, then there is no injury.
If you keep playing in the sandbox, understanding that you will get dirty while being intolerant and abhorring of dirt, then there is injury.
Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results."
Do you know what screws up this entire allegory? Vulnerability. The vulnerability to injury of the psyche that comes with mental illness. I believe it is this vulnerability that Dr. Robert Hysiung may have taken this into consideration when he developed his policies and protocols of communicating using his concept and design of civility. If it so happened that he had not figured this vulnerability into his civility rules, then we are the beneficiaries of serendipity.
Crap. Where's the drama in that? I'm sure some will follow. Perish the thought.
I admire very greatly Greywolf and his honest and effortless civil communication. For me, to say what I would like to say, I sometimes have to choreograph a clever dance around civility. Civil is civil, regardless of intentions. Uncivil is uncivil, regardless of intentions. It is not the motivation that is to be judged, but, rather, the action. "I was angry. I kicked the dog with my sharpest boots, but I didn't intend to hurt him." That's all. No formal apology to the owner or the traumatized dog. How does the dog know that it was kicked? It hurt. Yet, here, no one can alert the angry party to their actions without it being considered uncivil, no matter how well-worded and benign the commentary may be. So, now, I guess I must learn to direct my commentary to the administration using the notification option.
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:895265
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090529/msgs/899783.html