Posted by Deneb on May 7, 2006, at 15:16:26
In reply to Re: Estella, posted by Estella on May 7, 2006, at 2:46:01
> And so to find a middle ground...
> Will be better for you in the long term
> And better for Bob
> And better for the boardsI don't know if I will ever experience the rage and disillusionment. I can't really fathom that right now.
> Lol. You need to fix the meaning BEFORE deciding whether you have had that or not ;-)
> Seriously though... I wouldn't be so sure. I figure you loved hammie a whole heap. There are many different kinds of love IMO.I forgot about that love. :-) I did love Hammie. I cared for him and about him.
> Yeah. Like if someone were to say 'I really want to get married' and then they don't get married despite an excellent opportunity. In that case we would conclude that they never really did want to get married.
Yes, like that. It's not enough to say you love someone. You have to show it.
> But then sometimes people can be f*cked up...
> And not really understand how to EXPRESS love appropriately. I dunno. It is a hard one.That is a problem. The loved one wouldn't know she/he was loved.
> > I realize that I don't actually "love" Dr. Bob. Obsession is the more appropriate word. My "love" for Dr. Bob is not characterized by caring acts. My love serves only one purpose, to make myself feel good. My "love" is a selfish act.
>
> Is it? You say nice things to him at times... Try to support him... Thinking about him makes you feel good... And you don't really seem to be under a big whopper of an illusion...LOL. You know, just after I wrote that my love for Dr. Bob isn't real love, I questioned myself....because...because I do care about him. I worry about him when he's away for a long time. I made him a scarf...that's a caring act. I give him lots of cyber hugs to make him feel better. I think there is some love, but I also can't deny that there is an element of obsession to it.
>I dunno. I dunno what love is supposed to be really. I think I have a lot of love for Babblers at times. I do. And I think... I do. Even though sometimes... I hurt. Yup.
I think you have a love of love for babblers too.
> Yeah. I have a dim recollection of that world... But I can't find it. I can't. Maybe I'm a little jealous that you have that. I'm sorry. I'm glad you have been feeling a lot happier. I wish I could muster that myself. I'm sorry.
It's okay. I just wish I could give you some happiness.
> Thanks. I think. I don't know. Now I'm worried about you feeling scared and worried about me. I guess its a good thing if you feel that a little but not a lot. I'm sorry.
Don't be worried about me worrying about you. :-) There's enough worry for both of us already. LOL I have faith that you'll be able to find your way again. Nothing lasts forever. The hurt you feel will lessen.
Deneb*
poster:Deneb
thread:640823
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060412/msgs/641005.html