Posted by Estella on May 7, 2006, at 2:30:33
In reply to Re: Estella » Estella, posted by Deneb on May 7, 2006, at 1:01:03
> I think I have this problem a lot of the time...being oblivious to others problems. I'm sorry if I haven't supported you as much as you've supported me.
You are okay. I'm sorry. I'm feeling a lot calmer now... Feeling a lot calmer. I'm sorry. You do help me. People here do. Maybe... My hurt got so bad I was the one who turned all selfish. That is probably right. And now I'm starting to feel all mad again thinking that people are going to get to thinking 'yup that is right and that is why you get blocked because you still just don't get it'. So... Lets not go there. I don't know what to say. Except that something snapped. And the hurts come up. And the rage comes up. And there aren't the words. There simply aren't the words. And I can hear CAT 'what do you expect us to do?'. And what do I want? What do I want? Because there isn't anything to be done. There isn't any thing that can turn back the clock. There isn't anything that can change the past. There isn't anything that can fix it. And what do you expect us to do? To understand? But what is the mark of understanding. F*cked if I know. All I know is that there isn't anything to be done. And all I know if that when that happens to me... When I feel like that... Then this isn't the place. But you know what? There isn't a place. There isn't a place for me. And there it is. Either pull myself together and solier on or... There is nothing to be done. And too many days... To many days off... And then something drastic needs to be done because there is nothing to be done. And I don't know what is up with me except deja vu... And how old am I? I don't know when it is. I get lost. And I don't know what to do. And there aren't the words there just aren't the words. And it is about understanding... But what good is that? It doesn't really fix it. There isn't anything to be done. And I don't know that there is any hope. I'm sorry.
> That is precisely why I don't believe in true altruism. I think we all *want* something for ourselves when we do altruistic things....whether it is for love or a feeling of self satisfaction, it is ultimately a selfish act. I think all acts are inherently selfish. There is no way around not thinking of one's self.I think one can transcend the problem.
Instead of it being egoism (selfishness) vs altruism (selflessness)... If one focuses on the interconnectedness... How each individual is connected and interconnected to their environment and other people in their environment... Then the distinction starts to dissolve. In order to truely care for yourself you need to appreciate that what you put out into the world will come back to you. So really caring for yourself involves caring for others. And in order to truely care for others you need to appreciate that you can't do that if you are collapsing yourself and so you need to care for yourself.And if things get messed up either way...
I guess one could describe that as selfishness
Though I prefer to describe it as shortsightedness
(In my better moments)
And people can be myopic...I'm sorry
poster:Estella
thread:640823
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060412/msgs/640868.html