Posted by Zo on August 8, 2003, at 0:04:32
In reply to Re: Bob, please consider a PBC for Larry » Ame Sans Vie, posted by Larry Hoover on August 5, 2003, at 23:00:26
Well, Lar, that's one possiblity. The other could be that there is *merit* to Pax's position, and Kid_A's. It could be precisely the case that the way in which the board is increasingly mishandled "drives people away." Do you know what that means? It means, with a heavy heart. Leaving one's friends.
Frankly, I'm at a loss. When I come back here and see the petty backbiting, the time spent hashing out these arguments over Bob. .. and think of the way we all used to matter to each other. It's very sad.
Look at the world around you. Or don't. Perhaps authoritarian suits you. It doesn't suit me, it hasn't suited other mature, intelligent people with an enormous amount to contribute who in time simply leave, discouraged from giving the very support they would like to give.
Find me a single board on the web that blocks contributing, valued posters - never mind for increasing amounts of time. I told Bob the first time I was blocked, this was going to break my ties to the board, and I told him that it really hurt. At the same time, others were posting to the value of my presence. Let me see, one of my offenses was writing that an *unnamed* person on the board had a "so-called" intellect. You could find them all.
Another block was made over a woman's use of the word or. Bob and I corresponded about that one. He argued that her use of a carraige return *proved* her intent to be uncivil. I'm sorry, but that way madness lies.
It's probably a reliable barometer: if you have to search and argue why someone's post was uncivil - let it go! That's what everybody else does! In the interest of having a lively and supportive community, they do *not* nitpick over long-time members posts, nor stonewall any discussion.
What I've posted to Bob and the board about Asperger's is the result of a year of thinking, and none of it has been easy. I had as much affection for Bob as anybody - hell, I'm the person who coined "PBC." And I would *still* be here and on good terms with Bob, except that it became increasingly, painfully clear that the structure was and is inherently unfair. No one person can keep the rules in their head, offer no means of recourse, make arbitrary decisions that affect the lives of others - and expect that to be helpful, or even to work.
Trust me. This board is known far and wide as an oddity. One begins tactfully, Lar. A year or two later, tact is hard to come by. To learn that a neurological condition is very likely the root cause of what have been some very hard times for a number of people comes as a relief.
What I really don't understand is the need to be cruel. If you phrase things just right, it's possible to be immensely cruel and still not have said an uncivil word. It is just as possible to throw some slang around and be a tremendously caring, insightful person.
I would say, unequivocably, most every single person who has been arbitrarily blocked has been someone creative. Who has committed no big offense - by any adult measure.That much is abundantly clear. I don't know - does coloring outside the lines rattle you, too? I mean, I honestly don't know.
Bob has been offered every suggestion under the sun, by lots of folks with lots of good ideas. People who care about him and most of all, about their kin, here. Or perhaps the idea of kin was mistaken. . ..
Zo
poster:Zo
thread:248064
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20030508/msgs/249184.html