Posted by Cam W. on April 22, 2001, at 0:09:14
In reply to Re: provocateur, posted by kate9999 on April 21, 2001, at 21:37:49
Kate - I was just giving a little background into the history of this site. I do agree that passion and emotion does have it's place. God knows, I have had my fair share of "please be civil" posts directed at me and for all intents and purposes I probably should have been blocked a few times. I do realize though, that when dealing with mental health issues passions and emotions can get carried away and do become counter productive.
In my job I do become overly passionate, wearing my heart on my sleeve. Usually it does lead to productive discussion, but this passion is aimed at colleagues rather than patients.
In one instance a couple of years ago, one of my patients, who never followed through with the good intentions this person had, I ended up telling this patient to "get off their ass and do something about it". This set this person's therapy back in a big way. Many calls to the crisis line and being called on the carpet for what I had done, I should have learned to leave emotion out of dealing with the emotionally distraught.
Similar situations have arisen on this board. Therefore, I have found that passion and emotion must be kept in check here, if a productive discussion and advice is to be effective.
My latest blunder is evidenced in my "please be supportive" admonition a few threads above this one. In my passion for, and trust in, the scientific method overshadowed a person's personal experience, because I believed that the person in question was generalizing their situation to all people. I ended up talking down to this person and using some obscure (but I believe relevant) history to justify my reaction to this person's post. This, I came to realize, was a counter productive measure.
So, what makes this board unique is it's supportive attitude and a lack of emotion is needed to debate issues related to mental illness, in order to keep the "feel" supportive. The seeming lack of emotion and passion in our debates does not mean that the issues, ideas and advice do not have passion or emotion. It is just that our responses, when formulated in a way that minimizes our emotions and passions acheives better results. The adage that "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" applies here, especially in light of the emotional turmoil many people who look for advice here are going through. We try not to antagonize anyone (possibly making their situation worse) and that is not easy to do. I guess it does make us look detached, but I believe it is a necessary trade-off to make this one of the best sites in the world for advice on mental illness. Dr.Bob has to tread a thin, wavering line to keep it this way and I do not envy his job.
BTW I do not exactly know what a provocateur is, and am too lazy to look it up in the dictionary. I have been told by a few close friends (that I have made on this site) that I am better to let a fat, juicy post that I can jump all over slide by rather than antagonizing the poster, especially when they are trying to goad me into an emotional debate or response. I now try to reread or get my wife to reread any potentially provocative (probably a verb form of the noun provocateur) posts before hitting the confirm button. I stay away from reading all the posts as I have done in the past (eg I try not to read anything with Effexor in the title). I may miss being able to give some worthwhile information, but in the long run it saves on my stress level. I have not been able to find a site on the internet that will allow as much quality information on mental health to be exchanged, as this site has in the past (believe me, I have looked).
The opinions stated above are not necessarily those of the majority of posters to this board, but are how I would like the board to proceed.
Sincerely - Cam
poster:Cam W.
thread:1025
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20010315/msgs/1079.html