Posted by ShelliR on April 22, 2001, at 11:40:40
In reply to Re: provocateur, posted by kate9999 on April 21, 2001, at 21:37:49
Kate. It's not that I am against emotion or confrontation. Maybe like JahL I am a naturally assertive person and am learning in my life that sometimes it is to my advantage to ignore, or step back. Certainly to wait. That is to my advantage because I need to decide if I am willing to accept the consequences of a confrontation, e.g., do I have the time, emotional strength, etc. Is it worth it? And sometimes it absolutely is, but it really has to be around something very important to me. (I am not talking about disagreements in opinion here.)
One reason I think it is particularly important to not be overly emotional, especially confrontational on this board is because it is so easy. I mean why not full out attack a person who you perceive as being ignorant, shallow, self-serving, or whatever. You'll never meet that person; the stakes are very low. Who cares if you have angered or hurt the other person--there are basically no consequences to you.
The consequences to the board, however, are great. As Cam was talking about, what is the reason you come to the board? I personally do not come to make long-term friends or long-term enemies. I come to connect for whatever period the connection feels helpful. And I come to learn about medications and share about medications. My depression is still not under control, so maybe I will hear about something I haven't before. And it is also a forum for me to express things I have learned or thought a lot about in relation to living with depression. (My professional is almost purely visual with some verbiage, and I think it has been good exercise for my brain to express myself in writing).
The times there have been nasty accusations going back and forth have not been very useful in meeting the above goals. But while I definitely think emotions are an important part of life, to the extent that they distract from why I come to the board, I'm glad they are watched and not allowed to overshadow everything else.
Shelli
poster:ShelliR
thread:1025
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20010315/msgs/1082.html