Posted by g_g_g_unit on January 24, 2013, at 21:38:09
In reply to Re: disheartening psychiatrist appt. » g_g_g_unit, posted by Phil on January 24, 2013, at 21:23:59
I just think he has no grasp on how utterly debilitating what I'm going through is. He said I need to accept I can influence my own thoughts and perceptions and until I do (i.e. take some responsibility), I will never get better. That might make sense to someone who is suffering from a milder grade of anxiety/depression, but when your life has literally been destroyed/overrun by neverending phobic anxiety, avoidance, senseless intrusive thoughts etc., there's no luxury or freedom to begin entertaining any kind of control. I've almost lost any sense of who I am beneath the chaos of symptoms.
I worry I'm reading it wrong, because the thing he said, about me idealizing stuff is true and cut through to quite a core problem (my inability to accept the 'sick', imperfect me). He even said hospitalization would just be another 'idealized' fantasy that might make things worse for me. I donno, he might be right, but I also know that I am absolutely not functioning at all right now and desperately need some kind of help. But at the same time, I need someone I can work with and who will listen and not just drug me into oblivion. Finding someone like that takes tenacity, patience, finances, effort, all of which I'm currently lacking.
> I just don't like this guy. Therapists will nudge you when you start feeling better but they finesse you along.
>
> If you saw a therapist right now they should refer you to a shrink. They can't work with someone in the throes of their disease. I mean, could you act on what a therapist suggested right now?
>
> I don't think it's so much what he said but how he said it. And I know meds are bad bad bad but what are you supposed to do? Bootstrap it? If you could do that you never would have needed him in the first place.
>
> I told my doctor about a year ago, I'm going to run out of meds to try. He grinned and said they just approved two more last month. I thought, aw sh*t. lol
>
> I dunno but I don't understand a doctor, looking at a sick patient and just giving up and blaming the patient.
>
> Maybe I'm reading it wrong. Who knows?
poster:g_g_g_unit
thread:1036417
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20130124/msgs/1036429.html