Posted by garnet71 on June 24, 2009, at 9:14:17
In reply to Re: Help - trigger - scared, posted by seldomseen on June 24, 2009, at 8:20:09
Hey thanks for the advice, whew. I feel a bit better, but still not so sure. I am spending the day on homework, still have to go to school later for 2 hrs. If i didn't take this morning off, I would have had to stay up all night and I was starting to feel unstable.
I feel comfortable with what you said-it makes a lot of sense. I am seeking another analyst, but have an appt. w/this one I had the reaction to, who has also been acting as my PDoc for now, to discuss what transpired more in depth. I read that my strong reaction could be a sign of a severe llness or disorder, and he is going to talk to me about what happened and give me advice as to whether or not I should continue to seek this kind of treatment (my doubts about this kind of therapy for me considering my experience). I'm holding off till i talk to him. He's going away, so I have to wait.
But I somehow sense it can be psychotic, though I am going to try to look at it the way you explained it so I don't succumb to the fear of hallucinating. It feels like a force now rather than an emotion though. Like it takes over my mind and body. It sure is bizarre. I mean, just talking to him on the phone, and bam, a switch goes off in my brain. When I think of that day when that happened, when I think about us talking, I picture him to be somebody else--but I have no idea who it is. I can envision this man, but not entirely. What I see looks like no one I've ever known. A thought entered my mind last night that when I am able to discern who this person I envision is, I will suddently hallucinate and become psychotic--even though I can get a sense of what he looks like already. It's so scary to have that thought!!
But if these psychotic fears enter my mind for now on, I'm going to think of what you said about coping/emotional reaction and reread it: "Dissociation, anxiety, panic are all part and parcel of the trigger."
I'm not that so uncomfortable with those things; they are not so scary since I've dealt with them, mostly the last 2, for so long. I never had this type of anxiety--is it possible to get psychosis from anxiety,much like someone gets from bipolar mania?
I do feel better now...Thanks : )
poster:garnet71
thread:902873
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090620/msgs/902914.html