Posted by Tony P on March 30, 2006, at 2:00:43
In reply to Re: Who's trying to achieve hypomania?, posted by tygereyes on March 29, 2006, at 22:15:02
> Linkadge has brought up an AMAZINGLY important issue here. A few years ago, I would have been so threatened that someone was questioning my psychiatric drugs that I would have reacted immaturely and immediately denied misuse of psychiatric drugs. However, from years of experience working within the field (not to mention, being medicated myself), I think he has brought up points that we all need to address honestly within ourselves. I have often wondered, while reading this page: Is this why we switch meds so often? Because "normal" just isn't good enough anymore?
For sure there are times when I want to feel better than well, and of course I want it _right_ now, and please let it go on for ever. And I've abused antidepressants and looked for something better than normal from them. And yet, and yet -- I think we're not allowing enough for the fact that for most of us posting here "been down so long, feels like up to me" is part of our baseline "normality".
Last year, living in a supportive community and taking only Lamotrigine, I had a profound emotional (even spiritual) experience one evening. In journalling about it that night, I couldn't easily put the feeling into words. It wasn't until the next day that I remembered there _is_ a word for that experience: joy. It had been so long since I had experienced joy that I had all but forgotten the word for it. I think after a long bout of depression or anhedonia, experiencing the ordinary sense of well-being and connectedness that many people have on an almost daily basis, _feels_ like a peak experience or euphoria or even hypomania.
I was in that good zone once for a few years, and it seems to me the characteristics were: I didn't feel a need to touch it up or make it even better, I was able to feel normal ups and downs and still have the sense that life was worth living, and (always useful to get a cross-bearing from trusted others) nobody was telling me "you should cut back on your Serzone, it's making you too happy"!
Tony
poster:Tony P
thread:625584
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060329/msgs/626441.html