Posted by NikkiT2 on October 26, 2004, at 10:56:36
Ach, my head is spinning.
Having "girlie" problems that are doing my head in..
I had a cervical smear 5 months ago that came back with some "nuclear" changes. I had to go in for a colpscopy and cone biopsy.. that came back as "inadequate", but they were unsure why.So I had to have another. Which has come back the same.
So 2 weeks ago I had to have a full STD check up, so more swabs taken,
they came back clear.
So today I had to go back for yet more tests.. more lying on my back, with that nasty metal thing shoved up me AGAIN.
They say my cervix looks perfectly healthy, but every time they try to take cells from it, it starts to bleed, and thats not such a good sign. Its not meant to do that apparently.
But, while there this morning, I asked about my hemorhoids. I'm still getting a fair amount of bleeding, and alot fo lower back pain.. So, I get to have THAT examination too.. no sign of hemorhoids, but there is a suspicious lump there.
So, now, a week before christmas, I get to have a camera inserted up my bum, aswell as the one they are shoving down my throat to find out why I am constantly nauseas.
I'm freaking over all of this. Didn't go into work today, but now have spent the day stewing.
My boss is doing my head in at work.. she has a really accusing tone of voice, and seems to constantly question what I am doing.. Triggers all the "you're worthless and will never be a success" feelings in me.
Plus I escaped into sleep for 2 hours at lunchtime, so know I won't sleep tonight.
And one of my hero's (A radio DJ, John Peel) died today.
No answers I know.. You're the only people I can say these thinsg to.. but have no idea on how to avoid admin AND come here.. plus, theres this huge part of me that HAS to read admin.. if someone is saying things about me, I want to know what is being said.
Wish we could ask people not to post *about* us, aswell as not *to* us!!!
Rambly day.. think I need to just get all these different things straight in my head somehow!
Thanks.. you people are very very very special
nikki xxx
poster:NikkiT2
thread:407427
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040626/msgs/407427.html