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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by no_rose_garden on September 8, 2008, at 21:38:06
We had a meeting scheduled for this morning at 8:30. I was really nervous and on my way thought maybe i didn't really need it. I went into the waiting room and another lady came in and said hi. My T came in at 8:29 and got the other lady and introduced himself to her. I wated until 8:50 then left.
I called my current counselor and told him. He encouraged me to call the other guy and tell him, so I did.
He called and left messages...he apologized a lot and said he had made a mistake with his books while on vacation. I don't think I want to see him. And it was so much work just finding him and deciding on him that I don't think I can do it again.
Maybe I can take a break.
Posted by Dinah on September 9, 2008, at 8:15:13
In reply to First appointment with new T....or not, posted by no_rose_garden on September 8, 2008, at 21:38:06
I would have a heck of a hard time going back, if that was the first meeting.
However, it is something my therapist had done at least twice that I know of. If one of those times had been our first appointment, I'd have missed out on a great relationship. One where I accept that organization is not his strong suit. Which is ok, because that's a flaw I can live with.
That being said, I'd have never gotten to know him that well, since I doubt I could have gotten past that on a first meeting. Especially since I view first meetings as a weather balloon.
Posted by rskontos on September 9, 2008, at 12:09:54
In reply to Re: First appointment with new T....or not » no_rose_garden, posted by Dinah on September 9, 2008, at 8:15:13
Hi no rose garden,
I am with Dinah. My t has done this I think twice and each time I almost bolted but he instead sent the other person packing because he knew I would not come back. I felt bad but and cried but he knew I needed him and if would run, hide and never come back no matter how much I needed to be there.
That said, I am thinking it would be hard to go back if this happened the first time. But then again if you spent alot of time researching this one and feel like he might be the best one, you might give it one more try and see how you feel. It could be the right t and he just has organizational issues, like many do. You might not ever bond with him and maybe a second visit will help you not always wonder, did you do the right thing not going back.
hope this helps.
rsk
Posted by B2chica on September 9, 2008, at 12:29:21
In reply to First appointment with new T....or not, posted by no_rose_garden on September 8, 2008, at 21:38:06
and maybe on the other hand it might actually be something to bond you two. his big mess up on how you two first met. who knows...
it doesn't seem like a great first start. but if you did the research and your gut instinct was him, i'd give him at least one more chance.
at least get to talk to him, check him out, then make the decision, including the mix up.its hard enough to find a good T. you never know how or what might bond you.
best wishes.
b2c.
Posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2008, at 12:33:57
In reply to Re: First appointment with new T....or not » no_rose_garden, posted by B2chica on September 9, 2008, at 12:29:21
My answer is a definite no I would not go back. If he thinks so little of clients that he overbookds or forgets don't need that and a first appointment is usually longer and more complicated paperwork and all that stuff. He should have reviewed his next day is my opinion. But I don't know the whole story so basing only on what I read. Phillipa sorry that happened to you.
Posted by lucie lu on September 9, 2008, at 13:38:11
In reply to First appointment with new T....or not, posted by no_rose_garden on September 8, 2008, at 21:38:06
Hi NRG -
It sounds to me as if there are a couple of separate issues here. There is the question of whether, given the inauspicious start, you should give this guy another try. (All T's do screw up, but it is tough when it's the first meeting!)
But in your post, you seem really pretty ambivalent about seeing *anyone* right now. I am trying to picture myself in your place. (1) If I were really in pain and needed desperately to see someone, I would definitely gve this guy another chance because, hey, well I got his attention already, right?(2) If I just needed or wanted to find a new T to continue things I was working on, then I might or might not go back to this guy. Guess it would depend upon what I'd heard about him, my gut feeling about the match, and my sense that he, like Avis, would probably try harder. (3) But if I was not even sure whether I needed or wanted therapy or a new T, then I think I would use this as an excuse to back off. Maybe I would tell the T honestly that I decided to take a breather, some time off from therapy, and that I would probably check in with him when I felt ready.
Parenthetically, I did something like that last bit with my current T after seeing him only a few months. (This was more than 5 yrs ago, before I was fully committed to him or the therapy.) I told him in Sept that I'd be back after Jan 1, when I had insurance again. And I actually did that. He was happy I called. He told me (later) that he figured it would be 50:50 that I would be back, and he was glad that it was the "yes" 50...
So I guess my question to you is, why are you looking for a new T and why do you, or don't you, think you want therapy right now?
Best, Lucie
Posted by no_rose_garden on September 9, 2008, at 22:40:30
In reply to First appointment with new T....or not, posted by no_rose_garden on September 8, 2008, at 21:38:06
I actually wasn't able to do much research on the people in my insurance, b/c they don't have info online or ANYTHING!!! My counselor says it's b/c they've been working for an insurance panel for a while. I did get to see the guy when he got the other woman. Judging by just how he looks, i don't know if I would feel comfortable with him.
I don't know if I need therapy or not right now...But maybe it's like you shouldn't go off drugs even when you feel like you don't need them any more...
I'm pretty sure I'm going to do a group through the campus center in the fall, but maybe I'll hold off on therapy for a while...or maybe I'll try to meet with this guy once more and then make a decision. School will be very busy as it is...I get overwhelmed when I have too much.
Posted by no_rose_garden on September 9, 2008, at 22:59:48
In reply to Re: First appointment with new T....or not, posted by no_rose_garden on September 9, 2008, at 22:40:30
I wish I could just stay with my counselor...i like him a lot and am very attached.
...limited sessions :(
Posted by lucie lu on September 10, 2008, at 10:56:01
In reply to First appointment with new T....or not, posted by no_rose_garden on September 8, 2008, at 21:38:06
NRG (Rose?),Please do not think my general comments on the other thread were directed at you. Your thread has hardly been up for 24 hours! I like that you're updating us already, and feel free to continue the conversation as long as you want to.
Lucie
This is the end of the thread.
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