![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 15 to 39 of 39. Go back in thread:
Posted by Jazzed on May 20, 2005, at 12:37:31
In reply to Re: Relationship with T/Bad Session (very long) » Shortelise, posted by 10derHeart on May 20, 2005, at 9:06:55
>
> No, I don't suspect, I actually know. Although it was sort of a small thing. A few months back, he used a DSM diagnosis for my insurance without talking to me first. Because my history is that I was in therapy with a pdoc he knew slightly, and to him I clearly had MDD symptoms, he assumed I'd always had that diagnosis. Oops. Wrong. Just so happens my ex-T (the pdoc) just never went there - for a psychiatrist he just isn't a dx kind of guy. More interested in the here and now and the person - the DSM was an annoyance to him sometimes. Cool guy :-) So, the only DSM codes I'd ever seen in my records were for ADD (my presenting problem 3 yrs. ago) and maybe an adjustment disorder for a brief time.
>
> So, to get this copy of the insurance authorization for therapy for the next 6 months, and see "Major Depressrive Disorder, Recurrent Episodes, Moderate," really freaked me out. Now, I got over it quickly. I completely agree that I fit the criteria to a "T" (bad pun, sorry). But the thing was - TALK to me first. Don't assume. Don't forget. Don't EVER think something I see in writing that came from you won't have a strong effect on me.
>
>
ARGH! I can see how you could get a real shock out of that dx when you're not expecting that. I made up a list of questions to ask perspective Ts for when I decide to go back, and one of them is "will you give me the same diagnosis as the p-doc, and if not will you discuss the dx with me before you assign it" I'm really sensitive when it comes to this kind of stuff.BTW, your T sounds like a winner!
Jazzed
Is there somewhere where ppl recommend particular T's in the various cities? I think I'll go with a T in my p-doc's office, but could go somewhere else.
Posted by Shortelise on May 20, 2005, at 13:14:40
In reply to Re: Relationship with T/Bad Session (very long) » Shortelise, posted by 10derHeart on May 20, 2005, at 9:06:55
10derheart,
one last thing: you say you feel you shouldn't examine your T's reactions so closely.
My T has been a mirror for me. I watch him carefully, looking for reations. He's a gauge for me. I need that. He is my ulimate reality check. That is what he is for, among other things. We are supposed to watch so carefully - it's part of therapy. It's that relationship thing. You see, if I can learn to say to him, hey, you said blah and I feel blah about it, then I can learn to ask the pharmacist who is always nasty with me to please not speak to me like that, and do it in a kind way. And I have.
To see a dx like that would have thrown me into a horrible state, as I know it did you. I'd like to diagnose the twits who write that dastardly thing!
I'm so happy my post helped. That makes me feel great.
Hope it goes well.
ShortE
Posted by pinkeye on May 20, 2005, at 15:01:24
In reply to Relationship with T/Bad Session (very long), posted by 10derHeart on May 19, 2005, at 17:50:19
Nowadays I am coming to realize more and more, that even though external circumstances are responsible 50 %, the way I react to it is what is important for me.
For instance, I have had several communication gaps with both my ex T and my current T. But the way I reacted to my ex T was 100 times more intense than the way I react to my current T. I have had bad sessions (email sessionS) with my ex T and I have had bad sessions (face to face) with my current T. But I would react so much more vigorously to something slightly wrong that my ex T had said, and I might let go off a huge mistake on my current T. Just because I am so intense with my exT and not at all intense with my current T.
The point is, even though the other party is responsibly for what they do, the way we react to it - that part - we can control.
So if you react too badly to something which you know in your heart you shouldn't be, a good thing to do would be to explore that and see where your reaction is coming from, rather than focussing on if your T missed out something. Every T misses out something many times.
Posted by pegasus on May 20, 2005, at 16:39:57
In reply to Re: Relationship with T/Bad Session (very long) » pegasus, posted by 10derHeart on May 19, 2005, at 19:24:41
Thanks for asking about my baby! And I'm glad my post was calming.
My little girl is great. Sleeping a lot today, so I'm getting some email done. Unfortunately, she seems to like to sleep to this baby einstein CD that is pretty inane, and tends to drive her parents crazy. But anything to get the baby to sleep!
good luck again!
pegasus
Posted by Dinah on May 20, 2005, at 21:48:21
In reply to Re: Relationship with T/Bad Session (very long) » Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on May 20, 2005, at 9:22:57
Posted by 10derHeart on May 20, 2005, at 23:42:31
In reply to How'd it go? (nm) » 10derHeart, posted by Dinah on May 20, 2005, at 21:48:21
Thanks for asking. I suspected you might ;-)
We talked really openly. I mean - I always do, but with my eyes staring down and just about my stuff. Not much directly about his behavior until now. It took on a different tone. I was clear about almost all the stuff I wrote in my long post. And more stuff I thought of at the time.
He said all the right things. He was more engaged today. He said he truly can't think of a thing that was bothering him from outside life, in his head - nothing at all the other day. I'm glad he kept steadily saying that, instead of seeming to hem and haw and agree with my perceptions just to "over-validate" them, which I told him I would pick up as a form of dishonesty, and probably come close to a mini-tantrum. He seemed to get that.
I'm glad he stuck to his position (though he kept stressing how it was WAY more important to find out he did things that made the room feel unsafe than whether or not we both could tell he was doing it) because that gave me the opening to let myself just dissolve in tears. Which I pretty much did.
I said that if he didn't see it AT ALL, then I didn't trust my perceptions, or interpretations of a d*mn thing going on in the room. Because how could we see it in such utterly opposite ways? That I was a big idiot. That one didn't get by. I was deemed NOT to be an idiot.
That led to a good talk, I know. But darned if I can tell you about it, because therapy-amnesia has nicely erased it. I so hate that. But the remaining vague memory is that he said nice stuff and I felt better.
I don't know. It was still a little odd. It's okay not to be totally fine in one session. I made a LOT of eye contact today, and felt like I was making sense and had a good "flow" in explaining to him all the stuff that happened to make me feel so alone last time. That felt different and good.
But there's still an emotional distance that feels sad to me. We even talked about that, and it stayed the same. I suppose I was imagining it would go away, and we'd feel closer the minute I talked about it. Uhhh - no.
It was jumbled a lot. My ex-T came up many times - that is unusual. At one point I answered a question (forgot what it was) by saying something about that I couldn't tell him certain things with the "wrong" words, because then he "wouldn't like me." The second I said it I wanted to take it back. I heard myself say it in a small, soft voice. And - big surprise - he started to say something like, "That sounded like an answer not from the adult sitting here with me, but..." I cut him off and told him he didn't have permission to go there.
He backed off right away. He's said before he feels it borders on abuse of his role/power to ever push a topic or a path. We only go if I start first, or, if I tell him explicitly to push me. He is VERY nondirective, obviously. I liked that moment. It felt very safe and powerful for me to decide NOT to talk about any child-part of me today.
Maybe the best thing was right before we stopped and changed to, "here's your check" mode, he scoots to the edge of his chair and asks, "Are you okay?" Sounds so dumb and simple. But he usually doesn't say that. It seemed to bring full circle the fact I wasn't last time, or when I came in today. I told him I was 90% okay, but would have to process the session the rest of the day to get a better sense.
I feel a whole lot more settled, so I guess that's pretty important.
There's more, but I should get a PBC for post length. It's uncivil to subject you to a missive this long. And poorly written at that. It feels awfully good to write about it, though.
Maybe in coming days I can post little bits of the "rest." Provided I get a clue how to be succinct like you are.
Posted by Shortelise on May 20, 2005, at 23:59:41
In reply to It Seems Mostly Alright Now » Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on May 20, 2005, at 23:42:31
Thanks for posting 10derheart. Been thinking about you today.
ShortE
Posted by 10derHeart on May 21, 2005, at 0:42:24
In reply to Re: It Seems Mostly Alright Now » 10derHeart, posted by Shortelise on May 20, 2005, at 23:59:41
That's so sweet :-) Thanks.
(((ShortE)))
Posted by Annierose on May 21, 2005, at 6:34:31
In reply to Re: It Seems Mostly Alright Now » Shortelise, posted by 10derHeart on May 21, 2005, at 0:42:24
Your T sounds very thoughtful and sweet. I think those connected feelings will come back. It may take another session or two. I am so glad he was able to see you yesterday, rather than let this brew over the weekend.
Don't apologize over the length of your post. Sometimes it takes lots of words to get it all out, and that is okay. We wanted to know how it went.
Posted by 10derHeart on May 21, 2005, at 8:34:33
In reply to Re: It Seems Mostly Alright Now, posted by Annierose on May 21, 2005, at 6:34:31
>>Your T sounds very thoughtful and sweet.
Well, coming from you I'd have to say...takes one to know one? :-) Thanks for caring - and reading all that.
Posted by gardenergirl on May 21, 2005, at 12:34:00
In reply to Re: It Seems Mostly Alright Now » Annierose, posted by 10derHeart on May 21, 2005, at 8:34:33
I don't think your post was too long. (But then I get a bit wordy, myself.) :)
But you had an entire session to report on, and that's a lot of stuff.
I remember the "wanting everything to be allright in that next session back" feeling. In fact, a lot of that session, after we talked about the prior session stuff, was about exactly that...how I still didn't feel safe or connected, and how bad THAT still felt. It was hard to leave that day knowing it wasn't "all fixed". I'm glad your T recognized that you might still be upset when he asked if you were okay at the end. I would imagine that felt great when he asked. And I'm glad he respects your boundaries. It sounds like you two have a good working relationship. Sometimes the work, though, is about the relationship, and that always seems more intense.
It will get better if you keep talking. It's getting better for me, but it is also fundamentally changed, knowing that he can make mistakes. It's hard when idealized folks come down off the pedestal. Makes things much more vulnerable.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
((((10)))))
gg
Posted by Dinah on May 21, 2005, at 12:39:04
In reply to It Seems Mostly Alright Now » Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on May 20, 2005, at 23:42:31
Feeling more settled is very important. :) I'm glad you didn't wait.
It sounds as if you both did what you should have done. It may not be all repaired in one session, but you'll get there. There are times when I feel disconnected and it takes a while to get reconnected, especially when he goes out of town. Or makes a major error.
Other times it seems so much like ruptures and rapprochements past that it goes much quicker. :)
I'm glad you feel better.
And I'm not always succinct at all. lol.
Posted by 10derHeart on May 23, 2005, at 12:53:45
In reply to Re: It Seems Mostly Alright Now » 10derHeart, posted by Dinah on May 21, 2005, at 12:39:04
...at the very, very end. After the lovely question about me being okay or not. And frankly, spoiled it a little. Not entirely, but some.
Funny, I already find myself blaming myself for "setting him up" to say this. Which I see is pretty twisted, but I'm still doing it.
Okay....I was fumbling around trying to give an honest and coherent answer to, "are you okay?" In doing that, I blurted out something about knowing I felt much better continuing to come in to see him, better than quitting, or running away (from therapy). So he says (and in a business-like and matter-of-fact tone, which was VERY jarring), "oh, well, when you decide to do that, just let me know." I snapped, "What is that supposed to mean?" He said, "Nothing bad. Just that if you want to stop, tell me, so we can discuss termination." I stuffed my emotions at that second, very hard, and just answered with some surface crap. Luckily, he was turning toward his desk, so he didn't see me visibly compose myself and even wipe away the instant tears.. :-(
[Warning: sarcasm ahead....]
My reaction at the time, and still now, is a fun mix of anger, hurt and confusion..... For example.....
Well, thanks a LOT, buddy! Isn't that nice!? So, even after today, when I thought we were fighting on the same side to connect better, and bandage up my apparent hurt, it's just not really that important, is it? If I just said I felt like stopping after 6 months, we'd just have some textbook talk about termination? THAT'S your first thought when I say something like that?!! Great. So you don't really care. It's all crap. I'm just another warm body, filling up 10:00 Wednesdays, easily replaced by someone else... I knew it. No wonder I can't feel cared about - I forgot it's just a big business transaction anyway.
Sighs and more sighs. I could go on and be more graphic about the feelings of rejection and being of little value that one statement brought up. But it hurts my stomach, my heart, and makes me cry. So I won't. Yes, I know, the answer is is bring this up right away next time. But darn it, that will occupy the whole session, I can tell. Who knows where that will go? I feel like there are so many other things to talk about, we'll never get there with all the time taken on hashing out my need to feel wanted and special and important. Crud.
But then, maybe the rest of everything will never work right if I suppress this. I guess I know the answer. Hah. I'm one who said I couldn't conceive of ever having a similar attachment to another T., after my first one. Who I still miss and am still quite deeply attached to - in a different way. Perhaps I was mistaken.
Gosh, this hurts a lot. Thanks for "listening" - it helps to release it.
Posted by Dinah on May 23, 2005, at 13:01:11
In reply to There Was One Thing Said I Didn't Like At All..., posted by 10derHeart on May 23, 2005, at 12:53:45
Geez. I don't blame you. They are so *dense* sometimes. All we can do is try to enlighten them.
My therapist says that when he gets up and moves to the desk, he takes off his therapy hat and doesn't always think things through as much as he should. He says he needs to be clearer that topics are closed till next session. I'm not really reminding him, because I like that last minute reassurance.
Hopefully this is just a case of that.
Posted by Daisym on May 23, 2005, at 14:36:02
In reply to There Was One Thing Said I Didn't Like At All..., posted by 10derHeart on May 23, 2005, at 12:53:45
(((Tender))),
The set up around all of this just sucks. Plain and simple. I read your post twice with tears in my eyes because I know it is the conversation I need to have today. It is so important to not feel like client #44 yet don't we know that really, that is what we are?
My guess is that it is your therapist's practice to discuss the need or wish to stop therapy so that both of you clearly understand where it is coming from. BUT, he probably will say that ultimately it is your decision. They use the word termination easily, clinically, like it isn't as shocking as a swear word to us. If we "quit" -- we are mad. If we "stop" we might be out of money, or time. If we "are done" we have less need and are working things out. But if they "terminate" than it feels like being kicked out. At least to me. But I'm really frightened of that phase of therapy, so this is totally my projection. He probably recognized what you said as your response to being hurt and didn't think it had merit anymore since you'd talked things over. But still...
There have been times when I will rant about something and my therapist will say, "do you REALLY want me to help you with X" -- and I'm stunned because I think he should say, "that would really be unwise on your part, to do X." But he rarely does that. I think I'm testing him, checking to see if he cares enough to keep me from hurting my therapy.
I think you do have to talk about this. I also think it is one of the most painful parts of this whole process, wanting to be special, knowing how limited that can be, if at all. *sigh*. It is good that you've attached to him though.
I wish I knew what else to say but I have no wise words around this. Maybe I'll have more after this afternoon. I hope it helps that I understand totally.
Posted by Tamar on May 23, 2005, at 15:11:11
In reply to There Was One Thing Said I Didn't Like At All..., posted by 10derHeart on May 23, 2005, at 12:53:45
Ouch!
I mean, OUCH!
I know they can get all business-like when people talk about quitting, as if they’re refusing to be blackmailed, but you weren’t trying to manipulate him. You were trying to be honest.
I refuse to believe they really feel as matter-of-fact as they act when someone says something about wanting to quit. But it does seem to be a standard response, with a few variations.
I think you know you need to talk about it with him. And it’ll help you, ultimately, to be able to talk about the other stuff you need to talk about. But it certainly sucks.
(((((10der)))))
Posted by 10derHeart on May 23, 2005, at 15:18:43
In reply to Re: There Was One Thing Said I Didn't Like At All... » 10derHeart, posted by Dinah on May 23, 2005, at 13:01:11
> Geez. I don't blame you. They are so *dense* sometimes. All we can do is try to enlighten them.
Yes. And I usually don't hesitate much there. One of the several reasons for my designation as "challenging," no doubt. Well..somebody has to do it!> My therapist says that when he gets up and moves to the desk, he takes off his therapy hat and doesn't always think things through as much as he should. He says he needs to be clearer that topics are closed till next session. I'm not really reminding him, because I like that last minute reassurance.
>
> Hopefully this is just a case of that.That makes sense. I think I forgot to consider that possibility, so thanks for reminding me :-) He was still literally in his chair when he said it, but getting up when I asked what that meant, etc. So even that tiny distinction causes me to try to hold him to some standard...but it's a bit unreasonable. Yet...since I was there due to an upset having to do with HIS mannerisms and behaviors, I wanted extra-special consideration, maybe.
I hope that's all it was, too. I will be testing him when we talk about this, and I'm kind of worried he won't get the grade I expect, need and want.
Posted by 10derHeart on May 23, 2005, at 16:01:18
In reply to Re: There Was One Thing Said I Didn't Like At All..., posted by Daisym on May 23, 2005, at 14:36:02
>I wish I knew what else to say but I have no wise words around this. Maybe I'll have more after this afternoon. I hope it helps that I understand totally.<
Gee, what about the wise words you just wrote in this post? Don't they count? Silly Daisy.
Of course it helps that you understand totally! That helps so, so, so much here. And that you would take the time and energy to write about it -FOR ME (not that you don't get something out of it each time, too, but...)
You make me feel special, without "knowing me" even as much as my T. should/does/could? That is priceless.
My T. is trying, and has a good heart. I knew that from day one, or I wouldn't still be there. These are just struggles that have to take place, I think. I'm feeling strong enough to tackle them - so far - so that's good.
Hope your session goes like you need it to, and is not too terribly taxing. ((Daisy))
Posted by 10derHeart on May 24, 2005, at 1:09:27
In reply to Re: There Was One Thing Said I Didn't Like At All... » 10derHeart, posted by Tamar on May 23, 2005, at 15:11:11
>>I think you know you need to talk about it with him. And it’ll help you, ultimately, to be able to talk about the other stuff you need to talk about. But it certainly sucks.
(((((10der))))) <<
Yeah, I do know. And I will. I just like to panic/whine/ruminate over it a while here first, then by the time of the next sesion, I'm more ready.
He's a good one, no doubt. I'm just in a sort of an odd place, I think, with an interesting and different wrinkle.
I still miss and hurt over my ex-T. Still email my ex-T. several times a month. Current T. knows and is more than okay with it. Although I rarely, if ever, go much beyond a surface comment with ex-T. about how current therapy is going (that would just be plain wrong, though the temptation is huge...), things do get said. Or mentioned. Or talked around, so to speak. Ex-T's boundaries as an ex-T are occasionally VERY flexible, let's say. (shame on him) But I maintain them for both of us and give him a gentle scolding when I can't/won't talk about something. (He's an enigma to me in the way he does this sometimes.)
Anyway, point is, I see that this unique situation maybe adds some "mix-up" to my relationshiop with my T. Trying to disentangle the powerful feelings for ex-T from the newer, more fragile and not-yet-well-defined ones for this T. Adds a challenging layer, at the very least.
But, I wouldn't change the way things have played out with either of these wonderful T's for anything in the world. Harder for me in some ways, but quite meant to be.
Wow - sorry for all that digression. That just came to me out of left field. Hmmm...
Tamar, may I say I just never tire of your honesty, directness and way of cutting through right to the heart of things? Your sweetness and hugs, too. Really like those a lot. Hope you hang around here for a loooooong time.
Posted by Damos on May 25, 2005, at 17:17:02
In reply to There Was One Thing Said I Didn't Like At All..., posted by 10derHeart on May 23, 2005, at 12:53:45
Hey 10der,
Sorry I haven't been around much lately. Even sorrier to read this. That musta hurt in all kinds of ways.
Can't really add much to the kind caring words of Daisym, Dinah and Tamar, other than to say you're in my thoughts.
(((((10derHeart)))))
Posted by 10derHeart on May 26, 2005, at 0:23:56
In reply to Re: There Was One Thing Said I Didn't Like At All... » 10derHeart, posted by Damos on May 25, 2005, at 17:17:02
Aww..you are always popping in at just the right times.
Don't worry - I read all over, I know you are possibly going through scary stuff IRL. I'm praying for an outcome to that situation for you that will perhaps turn into something wonderful you didn't expect....
As for me and this post...didn't mean to sound like it killed me or anything. Things with a T. are just so magnified sometimes. And we really are fighting for this relationship, and even though that's uncomfortable, I know it's important.
Our styles are a bit different emotionally, although with cognitive stuff, we are a lot alike. We genuinely like each other, I think, based on our joking and mutual interests we chat about at the beginning and end of sessions.
He takes his responsibilities toward clients very seriously. Just not sure he's found the way to that place where we're both looking forward together to try to help me feel better and have a more fulfilled life - he's still floundering some. Trying to "map me out" almost - as to what I truly need from him. Which techniques to dump, which to use more, where my tender places really are (I don't always tell...) when to just talk to me and try not to *use* anything he's learned about being therapeutic.
I see this is no simple process for either of us. I present as super high-functioning many times when he sees me, even when fairly depressed, so this is something he's also now uncovering. I see progress in him (I know that's backwards - but I do...) I'm willing to wait. And in the meantime educate him, if I can.
I'll post all about the reason behind his "termination remark " tomorrow. Today he explained how it was all a hugely misunderstood joke. On a subject he vows never to joke about again. I believe him...but, it's still a little muddled and shaky.
You are lovely to come over here and try to support me - over something really, that's pretty trivial..... Thanks for being *you*, Damos.
Posted by Damos on May 26, 2005, at 22:34:13
In reply to Re: There Was One Thing Said I Didn't Like At All... » Damos, posted by 10derHeart on May 26, 2005, at 0:23:56
Well it sounds like he's gonna be worth the discomfort in the long run, and that's what matters. In the work I've done on dialogue and facilitation we call it 'creating the container'. I'm also beginning to think that the relationship with a T reflects the stages that a team go through. Forming, storming, norming, performing, mourning.
You're one of the gooderest eggs going round 10der you really are. Hope you and your T find a good space soon.
(((10derHeart)))
Posted by 10derHeart on May 26, 2005, at 22:37:41
In reply to Re: There Was One Thing Said I Didn't Like At All... » Damos, posted by 10derHeart on May 26, 2005, at 0:23:56
Whatever.
I know somehow he's telling the truth, not covering. The truth is a good thing, right? A thing you're satisfied hearing?
Trouble is, I'm apparently so depressed I had a hard time caring about his explanation.
My mind wanted to hear him explain, but the rest of me was whispering, "who cares...who cares....blah...blah...who cares?" It's hard to listen with all that apathy talking :-(<sigh...gathering just enough energy to post...>
He said the termination remark was dry humor. Referring back to a little story I'd told earlier in that session about my ex-T. How that one of his weak points was when he'd - out of blue - start a new topic he felt was important, and do it in such a way I felt condescended to, and like he really must never have listened to me or knew me at all.
I gave an example to illustrate. Told my T. that ex-T., abut 6 months before we both knew he'd be moving away, said all of a sudden, "So, this phase of therapy is called termination. And we need to talk about any parts of it you want to talk about." I told my T. I knew I'd teared up with frustration (the hurt I have at being possibly thought to be *stupid* is a HUGE theme of current therapy), rolled my eyes and said, "Duh! Why do you talk to me like I'm stupid? Like I don't know anything about therapy, or what's going on?!" That I remember at that moment, my ex-T. just talked over me and either never realized (or avoided?) the fact I'd made a comment. Said he'd done that 3-4 times, but that we ran out of time before I was ever relaxed/non-suicidal/brave enough to talk to him about this tendency.
So...the end-of-session remark was supposed to be sort of a "take off" on Dr. X (former T.). By him coming back with - "if you ever want to stop, just let me know, and we'll discuss termination," in a deadpan tone, it was somehow (??) his way of imitating the way he *thought* I'd described Dr. X talking to me that day in the past.
Huh?? Condescending and avoiding does not equate to deadpan and businesslike.
It went right over by head. Once he'd explained a couple of ways, I could see he really was sincere. But, since I hadn't even recalled telling the story maybe 30 minutes prior, I never imagined such a connection. Not to mention the fact he messed it all up miserably, to the point it was unrecognizable as humor.
So, his attempt at this joke sucked so badly it came out as a cold, unfeeling throw-away comment *from him* - NOT some play on words to tease me about my ex-T. T. looked uncomfortable enough that I could tell he realized his attempt blew up in his face, and hurt me to boot.
He acknowledged maybe he'd better not tell any jokes around termination, and that he'd better keep his T. hat on until I leave, and not possibly lose concentration on what's happening.
Okay. <sigh yawn>
Things feel worse and my depression has returned in the form of massive apathy, right when I have tons of things to get done.
Told him all the symptoms of this latest episode, and I felt I was taking to a cardboard cutout :-( Maybe he's also thinking along the lines of who cares? - I don't blame him. I bore myself to death with my useless life and non-problem problems, too.
Sorry. Not a good day, but I thought I ought to force myself to post something. Now I will drag myself back in front of the TV to aimlessly change channels.
I feel like changing my posting name to whocares.
Posted by messadivoce on May 27, 2005, at 10:07:03
In reply to He Explained It Was a Joke :-(, posted by 10derHeart on May 26, 2005, at 22:37:41
Forty lashes with a wet noodle for your current T. #1 reason why he is a T, not a comedian.
I'm sorry, 10der, that he's totally missing the mark. I don't know what to say because I haven't had that happen to me very often in person with a T. Usually my T hit the mark, unless we are discussing my termination, which he kind of messed up. But I don't know why termination is even an issue right now for you. It is my hope for you that you will get to be with this T for as long as you need him. I think you need to have that.
It's so hard to go from the "perfection" of Dr. X to this joker, isn't it? ;-)
Keep fighting for this relationship, seriously.
Posted by Tamar on May 27, 2005, at 12:15:12
In reply to He Explained It Was a Joke :-(, posted by 10derHeart on May 26, 2005, at 22:37:41
Well, at least you felt he was telling the truth. And maybe if he messed up a 'joke' it's a better spin on the matter than if he'd been simply callous and uncaring.
But honestly - how could he think it was a good idea to do an impression of someone he'd never even met? Especially an impression of a kind of behaviour that you'd said caused you distress?
I suppose everyone makes errors of judgement from time to time; I hope your T will learn from this. I doubt there are many people in therapy who find any aspect of termination funny.
My mother's therapist actually quit being a T and now does stand-up comedy. I hope his routine is better than your T's!
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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