![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on October 17, 2008, at 1:43:36
I'm upset. :-(
I chat on psychcentral a lot. Today I was chatting then everyone left me to go to a private password protected room. This has happened many times. No one ever tells me the password to this room.
I feel rejected and excluded. I feel like an outcast. Maybe I don't have friends. Why don't they want to chat with me? I'm so upset.
Posted by Dinah on October 17, 2008, at 8:40:23
In reply to I'm upset, posted by Deneb on October 17, 2008, at 1:43:36
I can understand feeling hurt. I've been in similar situations and I've felt very hurt. However, I can't see any reason you should blame yourself for that.
(And on a side note, Dr. Bob extended Babble protection over Psych Central posters, since there is significant overlap. So it might be best in future not to name the site or post anything that could lead members of that community to feel accused or put down.)
Posted by lucie lu on October 17, 2008, at 10:33:03
In reply to I'm upset, posted by Deneb on October 17, 2008, at 1:43:36
> I'm upset. :-(
>
> I chat on psychcentral a lot. Today I was chatting then everyone left me to go to a private password protected room. This has happened many times. No one ever tells me the password to this room.
>
> I feel rejected and excluded. I feel like an outcast. Maybe I don't have friends. Why don't they want to chat with me? I'm so upset.
>
Deneb,I don't use chat so can't comment on that directly, although IRL leaving someone else stranded isn't exactly good karma. I did leave you a couple of posts way back there on your 10/3 and 10/4 threads, which I just happened to see yesterday (I usually post on the Psych board). Deneb, you are one smart cookie!
Best,
Lucie Lu
Posted by Phillipa on October 17, 2008, at 12:36:14
In reply to Re: I'm upset, posted by lucie lu on October 17, 2008, at 10:33:03
Only looked at chat once it's kind of like MSN hard to set times to meet. I like posting better. That's just me. Deneb I did check chat before bed on night and you were still up you're a night owl like me. Phillipa
Posted by 10derHeart on October 17, 2008, at 16:59:47
In reply to I'm upset, posted by Deneb on October 17, 2008, at 1:43:36
Maybe....
....they don't know you well enough?
.....they are scared, awkward, nervous?
...they are unaware (therefore appearing "rude" without meaning to be)?
.......they don't "get it?"
......they assumed you didn't want to go there?
......they are a clique and out of habit they go off with just themselves?See a pattern? None of those possibilities start with "you." I highly doubt these occurences on a website equate to not having any friends. You sure have friends here!
Another thought....you could ask for the password for that room? Don't hang out there so don't know exactly the rules or how all that works, or if it's allowed to ask for that publicly. But....I find...*if* you really want something in life sometimes you can't wait, you have to ask.
Or, just chat here.
Or, maybe you don't *really* want to join that group. There is the risk of rejection, of course.
Hopefully, this feeling will pass soon.
Posted by TexasChic on October 17, 2008, at 20:40:08
In reply to I'm upset, posted by Deneb on October 17, 2008, at 1:43:36
I would probably feel just like you did. I automatically blame things on my own inadequacies rather than thinking of other reasons. You've got to think it through. If they did intentionally leave you out just to be mean, why would you want to talk to them? I know when it seems like a group of people are against you, it seems as if they must be right because they're the majority. But just because they are the majority in THIS situation doesn't mean there aren't a million people out there who would think you are cool and those people aren't. When I was being bullied at work that time, it seemed like everyone was against me. But I realized most people, if they could see the situation, would probably side with me rather than the meanies. If my situation were put on tv and voted on, I think they would back me. And I think the same would go for you. You are an awesome, beautiful (I've seen your picture!), loving person. So don't let a few meanies get you down!!!!
-T
Posted by Kath on October 17, 2008, at 22:38:51
In reply to Re: I'm upset, posted by TexasChic on October 17, 2008, at 20:40:08
Much good advice/thoughts above Deneb.
I enjoy chatting with you. it's probably about them; not you. Who knows, maybe there's the equivalent of "Babblemail" there & some of these people have shared more personal stuff using that, or have helped each other in a more detailed way & want to talk about more personal stuff.
I know that I can take things personally. I don't do it as much as i used to, but it's easy enough to do.
xoxo Kath
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.