![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 43 to 67 of 98. Go back in thread:
Posted by verne on April 29, 2006, at 21:25:27
In reply to Re: He wrote me back » verne, posted by TexasChic on April 29, 2006, at 21:03:40
I've been following your story and don't think you are being paranoid about the bullying and petty antics by the others in the office. I believe you.
For some reason this guy doesn't see what's going on. Best not to pressure him. You told him the way it is and he may one day begin to see things as they really are.
Like you, I'm sensitive to this sort of thing but many aren't and don't even know what we're talking about. And when I get emotional about something they seem almost amused. I mean, I can tell they aren't even listening anymore. (Like the VanCom lady, "La,La,La,La" with a finger in each ear). MadTv if you haven't seen her.
I guess I'm trying to say that even if he's completely wrong at first, give him a chance - just let him be wrong, blind, or indifferent while at the same time, be gently assertive and stick to the truth.
I think when people are pressured to agree with something right away, they just dig in their heels even more. It may take him awhile to get it.
I believe you.
Verne
Posted by TexasChic on April 29, 2006, at 22:36:11
In reply to Re: He wrote me back » TexasChic, posted by verne on April 29, 2006, at 21:25:27
> I've been following your story and don't think you are being paranoid about the bullying and petty antics by the others in the office. I believe you.
>
> For some reason this guy doesn't see what's going on. Best not to pressure him. You told him the way it is and he may one day begin to see things as they really are.
>
> Like you, I'm sensitive to this sort of thing but many aren't and don't even know what we're talking about. And when I get emotional about something they seem almost amused. I mean, I can tell they aren't even listening anymore. (Like the VanCom lady, "La,La,La,La" with a finger in each ear). MadTv if you haven't seen her.
>
> I guess I'm trying to say that even if he's completely wrong at first, give him a chance - just let him be wrong, blind, or indifferent while at the same time, be gently assertive and stick to the truth.
>
> I think when people are pressured to agree with something right away, they just dig in their heels even more. It may take him awhile to get it.
>
> I believe you.
>
> VerneAw-w-w, that's so sweet Verne! Thank you for believing in me. You don't know how good that made me feel.
As for being overly sensitive, I try to remind myself that its these same qualities that make me care about people so much. I guess you can't just turn it off and on, its always there. Maybe I'll learn how to channel it better someday.
After I read your post I realized how alot of what I said could be misinterpreted. I just couldn't leave it like that so I sent him an email to try to explain things. I know you're probably like, "No, no! Don't write anything else!" But I think it actually turned out pretty good. Its alot more calm and sane than any of my other emails to him. I'm not going to worry about it anymore.
Maybe someday I'll meet someone who finds my exuberant emotions endearing. Ha, ha!
-T
Posted by TexasChic on April 30, 2006, at 14:31:29
In reply to Re: He wrote me back, posted by TexasChic on April 29, 2006, at 22:36:11
Okay, three things are bothering me. First, I still think it was hurtful and insulting to be intentionally left out of a birthday get together. There is no way around the fact that I was excluded because Coldshouldergirl decided she didn't like me anymore.
The second is when he said: "the more you over react to this stuff, the more people are going to isolate you". That makes me think, so people are isolating me already? Because he tried really hard to make me think that wasn't the case with the get together. And who knows I over reacted? I don't think anyone heard me or realized I got mad.
Which leads me to the third, I can't help but wonder if this was discussed at the get together.
I think I've done pretty well at not reacting to the things that have happened. Other than crying at my desk that is. Although no one ever seemed to notice, I still feel imbarassed about that. I keep telling myself, how would they know WHAT I was crying about? One day I was upset about something entirely different that had nothing to do with work. I remember thinking, they probably think this is because of them.
I'm just full of self doubt and dreading being around those people tomorrow. I guess my biggest fear is to be talked about behind my back. It would be hard to believe it hasn't happened at some point or another in this situation. I know they discussed me having anxiety and taking medication, so I would assume they have discussed more. I keep thinking they're probably saying I'm psycho. So many other people up there have obvious mental problems, I was just open about mine.
I also hate that I always manage to put myself down in front of people! I realized I did alot of that in the emails with Cuteboy this weekend. I mean, I said I over reacted, but now that I think about it, I don't think I did. I think that was a perfectly natural reaction to the situation. I even apologized and said it was my fault! I said I created all the drama! What the hell is wrong with me? I always do that, and it always makes people think less of me every time (I can remember this happening in several past relationships). Now I wish I could take it all back, but then it would make me look even crazier. Plus, knowing he thinks I'm thinking one way, when I'm really thinking another is just upsetting. What if I get mixed up on what I said before, and how I feel now. I know I should just let it go and move on. I mean, its obvious Cuteboy isn't interested in me or I don't believe any of this would have happened. But its so hard to make my brain stop obsessing about these things.
I'm also nervous about the interview tomorrow. I don't have any of my work from my current job in my portfolio, so tomorrow I will have to figure out how to get some stuff together without anyone noticing. I always get anxiety about things I have to do in the future when there is doubt as to whether it will work out or not. Also, interviews are just nerve racking. I keep telling myself I'm not desperate, I have a job already. So I should be able to shop around and check some places out. But then all the drama at work makes me want to get out of there as soon as possible.
Well, that's it for my obsessive rant for now. I'm going to take a nap. I had my nephew over this weekend and that always makes me so tired! I wish I had half his energy.
-T
Posted by Racer on April 30, 2006, at 14:59:33
In reply to Now I'm obsessing, posted by TexasChic on April 30, 2006, at 14:31:29
Hey, TC -- I have to admit, I didn't have time to read the whole thing just now, but a couple of thoughts that I had from what I did read:
The biggest one is that you probably weren't discussed, because -- this is a general statement, NOT a reflection on you -- you probably aren't really important enough to any of these chicks for them to bother with when there are men around. Honestly -- they probably giggle in a nasty way about you in the ladies room when they've just done something to you, and probably did exclude you and snicker about that when they first did it -- and then forgot you existed.
And yes, I do feel this sort of behavior, because I have had it done to me, and I know it hurts beyond belief -- and that it hurts more to know that the people who have hurt me so badly don't really know that I exist! Sometimes it helps me a bit to think in terms of Object Permanence, Borderline, etc -- "they can't conceive of me having any OP, because they are not developed adequately to do so..." Doesn't help much.
What does help, though, is reminding myself when I start to get upset, "This is my reaction. They probably aren't talking about me behind my back, because they probably can't remember that I exist long enough to do so. And if they are talking about me behind my back, and saying terrible things, it really doesn't hurt me. It's my imagination thinking of what they're saying that hurts me." Does that make sense? It's not thinking in words, you know...
Anyway, the other thing is that yes, these girls are excluding you, and that sucks, and CuteBoy has been sucked into it. That doesn't mean that he's taking one side or another between you, though. It means that he's taking HIS OWN SIDE. Which is what all of us should be able to do.
It's unfortunate that he used the phrase "over reacting." That is a ridiculous comment, in most cases. What is true, though, is that your reaction is much more apparent to others than you think. Those children know they're getting to you, which is why they keep doing it. The best thing you can do for yourself AND for the office as a whole is to find a way to respond effectively. How you do that will vary, according to your own self-confidence, personality, temperament, etc. I am terrible at that, so I would probably have a breakdown. I don't recommend that option, though...
My advice? First, take a look around you, with the emotions held in check. Who are these children really friends with? Of the rest, who is interesting enough to you for you to invite to lunch? Take an active role, and ask someone out for lunch. Ignore the children, don't look longingly at the play groups, just focus on getting to know other people in your environment whom you might find interesting. Invite two or three of them out for lunch at a time, and do invite women more than men. (lots of reasons for that...) The more contact you have with others WITHOUT ANY REFERENCE TO THE IDIOT CHILDREN, the less power anyone will have to isolate you.
And, in the course of all this redirecting of your focus, include CuteBoy in lunches. "Hey, AccountantLady and I are getting Chinese for lunch, wanna come?" Just -- keep things easy.
Also, life advice here: this is work, not life, so find other things to make a life out of. Take a community education class one evening a week -- ceramics, yoga, car repair, whatever. Just something that interests you and helps you keep work in perspective.
I hope you feel better about this situation soon. Or that the IC grow clues very soon...
Posted by TexasChic on April 30, 2006, at 18:13:46
In reply to Re: Now I'm obsessing, posted by Racer on April 30, 2006, at 14:59:33
> It's my imagination thinking of what they're saying that hurts me." Does that make sense? It's not thinking in words, you know...
Actually that makes alot of sense. Dwelling on these things is hurting myself. I've been successful at incorporating the principles of karma into my life in the past, but I think I've been slacking. I need to work on banning those negative thoughts in order not to attract more negativity.
> It's unfortunate that he used the phrase "over reacting."
Actually, I used it first. So I don't know if he was just repeating back to me what I had said, or actually making that statement.
>... your reaction is much more apparent to others than you think. Those children know they're getting to you, which is why they keep doing it.
How can they do that if they forgot I existed? I really don't think they've forgotten. There's been too many blatant things lately. Plus, this is apparently what they do for fun. They pick someone every year to ostracise.
> My advice? First, take a look around you, with the emotions held in check. Who are these children really friends with? Of the rest, who is interesting enough to you for you to invite to lunch? Take an active role, and ask someone out for lunch.
I've actually tried something similiar to that. It didn't really work. The people I picked ended up being under the influence of the 'idiot children'. However, there are a couple others I've thought about trying to hang out with, who have no attachment to the IC. I'll try again with them.
>The more contact you have with others WITHOUT ANY REFERENCE TO THE IDIOT CHILDREN, the less power anyone will have to isolate you.
That's good advice. I've been trying to do that, but I sometimes end up referencing the idiot children in spite of myself. I'll have to be strickter about that.
> And, in the course of all this redirecting of your focus, include CuteBoy in lunches.
I'm kind of mad at him. I know the way he handled it was probably the most logical, but I don't know, I'm just still mad about it. I may be hanging onto it as a shield against being hurt. I don't know.
> Also, life advice here: this is work, not life, so find other things to make a life out of. Take a community education class one evening a week -- ceramics, yoga, car repair, whatever. Just something that interests you and helps you keep work in perspective.
I've actually been telling myself this for a while. I chant to myself, "work is not my life!" (although I haven't been doing it lately). I've even looked into the courses (the exact ones you mentioned!). I guess I just haven't followed through. I seem to have gotten off track somewhere along the way.
You've given me alot to think about. I've got to work on banning those negative thoughts. One of the courses I looked into is a class on Meditation. It seems like it was inexpensive too. I'll see when that starts.
Thanks for the advice!
-T
Posted by Racer on May 1, 2006, at 13:33:45
In reply to Re: Now I'm obsessing » Racer, posted by TexasChic on April 30, 2006, at 18:13:46
> >
> >... your reaction is much more apparent to others than you think. Those children know they're getting to you, which is why they keep doing it.
>
> How can they do that if they forgot I existed? I really don't think they've forgotten. There's been too many blatant things lately. Plus, this is apparently what they do for fun. They pick someone every year to ostracise.OK, but that's still not about *you* -- you just take up the space they're using as a target. They can't see *you* at all. But they get their gratification from seeing the reactions their behavior triggers. And, no matter how much you think it doesn't show, I've learned that it does show. (This is about me, now -- I always think I don't show any reaction, but I know that I do.)
>
>
> > Also, life advice here: this is work, not life, so find other things to make a life out of. Take a community education class one evening a week -- ceramics, yoga, car repair, whatever. Just something that interests you and helps you keep work in perspective.
>
> I've actually been telling myself this for a while. I chant to myself, "work is not my life!" (although I haven't been doing it lately). I've even looked into the courses (the exact ones you mentioned!). I guess I just haven't followed through. I seem to have gotten off track somewhere along the way.
>
> You've given me alot to think about. I've got to work on banning those negative thoughts. One of the courses I looked into is a class on Meditation. It seems like it was inexpensive too. I'll see when that starts.
>
> Thanks for the advice!
>
> -T
>
>OK, now for the nagging: sign up for the class. I strongly suggest ceramics, but that's because I want to take it myself. (Think about slamming that clay down to get out air bubbles... Mmmm.... Think of that being the strife you're feeling, you're going to pound it out of there...) Dance might be good, too. But do sign up for something.
And don't try to "banish" bad thoughts, so much as trying to learn to cope with them. You're always going to have some bad thoughts, that's part of being a human being who does think. The miracle is learning how to deal with them when they do happen. My own advice on this matter is to accept the thought, and counter it. Say to yourself what you would say to someone else. I'm trying to think of the sort of thing where I do this successfully....
OK, knitting. I don't plan much about what I'm knitting, I just do it, so I often hit places I didn't plan for that require extensive thinking to get through. When that happens, my first thoughts are some variation of "I don't plan, because I'm too lazy, and if I did what I needed to do, I wouldn't get into this sort of trouble, and now I won't finish this because anything I do will be wrong..." You know the sort of thing I mean? My counter to that is something like: "It might be easier if I planned more, but then I'd probably never actually make anything, I'd just plan. And I can finish this, because I can work out problems. And if my solution really is wrong, I can tear it out and knit it again. Besides, if it really doesn't ever work, I can always give it to Goodwill so someone else can wear it." It doesn't stop me from having bad thoughts, but it does make it easier to deal with them when they do occur.
These days, when those bad knitting thoughts start, I don't even get to the end of the Bad Thought -- if a BKT starts, the next thing I know, I'm casting on a pair of socks, so that I'll have something to knit while I work out how to fix my problem. (It also helps that I know I have fixed other problems and finished other projects.) Practice has made it happen without any conscious thought on my part. So, while the BKT may still come along, I don't pay attention to it, so it may as well not be there.
So, that's a long way of saying, "Are you going to show us your pots when you've finished them?"
Posted by TexasChic on May 1, 2006, at 20:41:54
In reply to Advice that borders on nagging... » TexasChic, posted by Racer on May 1, 2006, at 13:33:45
You're not nagging, you're giving advice and I appreciate that. Of course I will think things through and decide what I think is best for me, but I consider it all very seriously and it's all appreciated.
I have been wanting to take ceramics, it sounds so fun. But the class is $200, the same as the computer course I'd like to take. The meditation class is only $47 and I am really interested in that. I have tried to meditate but can't really figure out how to do it, so I thought a class might be good. The yoga and kickboxing are that price too. So I might be able take a couple of those.
I understand what you're saying about the knitting. I know I need something to take care of that nervous energy. I bought a learn to knit kit, but it kind of intimitated me. I might try something easier to start off with like cross stitch.
When I was talking about banishing bad thoughts, I meant my obsessive and paranoid thoughts. I have to learn to let some of that go. I see what you mean though about figuring through them instead of trying to banish them.
Now, on to today. Cuteboy took the day off, so I didn't have to deal with that today. However, ALL DAY LONG everyone talked and laughed (loudly) about the birthday thing and all the antics that went on. ALL DAY! Buy the end of the day I was furious. I thought, I did nothing to deserve this and it just isn't right that I'm paying the price because some crazy bitch decided she doesn't like me anymore (for no reason I can fanthom). I just thought, screw this! I have every right to be hurt and angry. Of course, he can choose to invite whoever he wants, but that doesn't mean I have to just be okay with it. If that is the way he's going to be, I have to let him know its not okay with me, and if he doesn't give a damn then I'm better off without him. Now I'm not saying I won't give him a chance or anything, I just think if he acts like he doesn't care, then its high time I stopped pursuing the whole thing.
As for the interview, it went really well. I felt like I was more than qualified and had examples to back it up. But I can''t say I got a feeling one way or another about it. He said he had seen alot of very talented graphic artists. The good thing is he said he would decide by the end of the week.
They sell software and he said they can get it for their employes low cost or sometimes even free. That was enough to make me want the job right there. The REALLY cool thing is he said that some who didn't get chosen would be offered freelance work. I told him I don't have the software at home and he said, "Oh, we'd set you up". I was so close to saying I love you.
I'm really wanting to work for a large company, and this one only has 50 people. But if the benifits out way the that one thing, I'll definitely go for it.
If nothing else, I felt so much better after the interview. Before I got there, I was close to tears. Afterwards I was excited and feeling much more positive. Part of it was just seeing a different place and thinking, "I could see myself here". It helped me realize I can't be so complacent and need to pursure better things for myself.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on May 2, 2006, at 16:42:01
In reply to Not nagging » Racer, posted by TexasChic on May 1, 2006, at 20:41:54
The whole thing with being ignored and isolated is upsetting, but I've realized the real underlying cause of what gets me upset involves Cuteboy. Today I went in still indignant and pissed off and knew I needed to let go of that dream. So I avoided eye contact and didn't speak to him all day. I was okay until for some reason, in the last two hours I got really upset about it. From past experience I know if I ignore him he's going to retreat even further. But even knowing that, and knowing he can't possibly care about me much more than a casual aquiantance, in the back of my mind I guess I still held out hope. I mean, logically I know its not going to happen, but yet somewhere inside I cant let it go. So for about the past two hours I cried silently at my desk. I knew what I wanted was for him to say something to me, to express concern that I was upset with him, but I also knew that wasn't going to happen. How do you deal when the person you like so much doesn't feel the same? I just feel heartbroken. As much as it tears at my heart, I hope I get that job just so I can get away from him and never see him again. How else am I ever going to get over this? I just can't stop crying.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on May 2, 2006, at 19:20:10
In reply to I'm so sad, posted by TexasChic on May 2, 2006, at 16:42:01
And a few beers and a few bowls later, I'm feeling all better! Just kidding, well, kind of. Anyway, I worked it out in my head what I want to do and I suddenly felt better.
Okay, imagine I get this new job, I've already thought about asking my boss to keep it to himself that I'm leaving. I could work out my two weeks and then one day just not show up. It'd be nice to work the last two weeks out without the 'nosy bitches gang' snooping around trying to find out all the little details. What on earth makes my life so fascinating to them? Its just WEIRD.
I was told this morning that one of them walked by my desk and says in a loud voice, "Well, I guess T's late again." I heard this from two different people! I could go on and on about this chic's antics, from making excuses to come in the room where I'm talking to someone, to saying loud sarcastic things to the person right next to her. For instance; "Well if SOMEBODY would do some WORK around here..." Its unbelievably ridiculous.
The second part of my plan is, after my last day, I'll email Cuteboy, tell him about the new job, and well... you know ... that I have huge crush on him! At least it will help explain why I acted like such an idiot around him all the time. I'll probably never see him again, so I can spare that embarrassment. Plus, I will know once and for all that he 'knows', and that if he was interested, he would do something about it. This way it'll be totally in his court and I can let it go-o-o-o. Now whether I actually have the nerve to DO all this or not, or even get the job for that matter, is debatable. But I feel better having a plan. Which is good since I was crying my eyes out while writing that first post!
-T
Posted by TexasChic on May 3, 2006, at 18:15:21
In reply to Re: I'm so sad, posted by TexasChic on May 2, 2006, at 19:20:10
Its so weird, when I was in desperate need of a job, I couldn't get a call back for a month. Now, I send my resume thinking I have all this time, and within a few days I have two different interviews! My second interview is on Monday (cool place too).
For the first time this week I didn't cry once at work! Somehow making that half *ssed plan took care of my worries and made me feel better. Well, that and the interviews.
I still didn't speak to Cuteboy today, I haven't all week. I've tried to avoid speaking to him in the past, because I always seem to be the one to initiate conversations. He just never seemed to notice. But oh boy, he notices now! I catch him looking at me all the time. He held the door open for me today and I had to walk right past him staring at me. I looked right at him and gave a very subdued 'thanks', and walked on (I don't count that as talking). I know he'll eventually just say 'screw it' and give up, but for now its nice to be indignant for once instead of a door mat. I'm getting a little better at standing up for myself, and I've noticed you get alot more respect that way.
I've noticed that Coldshouldergirl's two male friends seem to be trying to be extra nice to me. I sometimes wonder if the fact that I got along with them so well right off the bat was the reason she turned on me. I'm pretty sure it had something to do with it. They also make it more fun to ignore Cuteboy.
Today I was sitting outside on break with one of these guys, the rest of the group was standing a little ways off. I saw him roll his eyes and I said, "What?" He said, "They're STILL talking about Friday!" I was like, AH-HA! I knew I wasn't just being paranoid! (This was in my head, not aloud). Turns out he didn't go either, because he had something to do. He wasn't snubbed like me, but was still finding all the talk annoying. It made me feel better.
So I'm just going along, doing my thing, talking to the people who talk to me (mostly guys), and trying not to let the others get to me. Today was a much better day.
-T
Posted by ClearSkies on May 4, 2006, at 7:37:16
In reply to I didn't cry today and I've got another interview!, posted by TexasChic on May 3, 2006, at 18:15:21
Congratulations on both counts!
It is so hard to be dispassionate about a workplace and the people in it (in my experience, anyway). The best and only advice I can give is not to try to prevent how you feel, but just notice it when it happens. Like, "hmm, I start to cry when (whomever it is) makes a critical remark". You're not stuffing down your emotions, and you're not trying to change what you feel or how you react to things.
(This is magic, ok? It's making a world of difference to me, and it's pretty easy. Just try it for a day.)
Posted by TexasChic on May 4, 2006, at 20:53:30
In reply to Re: I didn't cry today and I've got another interview! » TexasChic, posted by ClearSkies on May 4, 2006, at 7:37:16
> Congratulations on both counts!
>
> It is so hard to be dispassionate about a workplace and the people in it (in my experience, anyway). The best and only advice I can give is not to try to prevent how you feel, but just notice it when it happens. Like, "hmm, I start to cry when (whomever it is) makes a critical remark". You're not stuffing down your emotions, and you're not trying to change what you feel or how you react to things.
>
> (This is magic, ok? It's making a world of difference to me, and it's pretty easy. Just try it for a day.)Sounds like good advice! I've kind of figured out what upsets me most has to do with cuteboy. I don't think I would have been upset for so long about the bitchygirls if it weren't for his involvement.
Today I accidently talked to him. He brought me my printouts and they had stuck together. He just looked so funny, saying, "um, something happened here." I just started laughing and said "thanks". I guess that's what you mean about not stuffing down your feelings. Its just not natural for me to be unfriendly or indifferent to people. But I don't want him to think I'm okay with his actions. But I guess if he doesn't get that by now, he doesn't really care much anyway. I'm so ready to get away from that whole work situation.
I was good about avoiding the drama today. I was even nice to bitchygirl, and she actually said "thanks". Actually I'm always nice, it just seemed to be more recognized today.
I go outside at lunch so I don't have to see everyone order in (intentionally leaving me out) and eat it in front of me. One of Coldshoulder's guy friends, who is rumored to have been more than friends with her at one time, always comes out and talks to me at lunch. Hm-m-m.
-T
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 5, 2006, at 7:12:00
In reply to Re: I didn't cry today and I've got another interv » ClearSkies, posted by TexasChic on May 4, 2006, at 20:53:30
> I go outside at lunch so I don't have to see everyone order in (intentionally leaving me out) and eat it in front of me.
Do you feel the emotional trap in that sentence?
People group themselves by unnatural means, e.g. the random collection that came to be you and your co-workers, or by other undefined criteria. However it is that this other group has formed, it has formed such that you are not a charter member (it was there before you were). Nor, apparently, are you a potential member. I sense much of your emotion arises from the way you frame the current situation. You aren't a member of that group, yet you keep letting yourself expect to receive member's benefits. That, my dear TC, is entirely up to you.
All the best on your new job opportunities. New job means new people. New groups. New opportunities to try new thinking.
Thumbs up.
Lar
Posted by TexasChic on May 5, 2006, at 21:12:32
In reply to Re: I didn't cry today and I've got another interv » TexasChic, posted by Larry Hoover on May 5, 2006, at 7:12:00
Actually, I was part of the group for several months. The two girls sought me out when I was just fine staying to myself. I mean they would literally say, "Stop being so anti-social and come over and join us". Then one day they abruptly stopped talking to me for no apparent reason. I eventually found out this is a pattern with them, a way of bullying people.
The reason I eat lunch outside is because they like to get everyone except me to order food, and then bring it to the desk right beside me and hand it out. And by everyone I mean everyone in the department, not just their group. They are very childish.
However, I do see what you're saying about setting myself up for failure. After this episode, I doubt I'll ever have a problem with that in concern to making friends at work though. I'm think I'm kind of traumatized from this whole thing.
I'm glad you're back Larry!
-T
Posted by TexasChic on May 5, 2006, at 21:54:06
In reply to Re: I didn't cry today and I've got another interv » Larry Hoover, posted by TexasChic on May 5, 2006, at 21:12:32
I've noticed a change in the bitchygirls' behavior for the past couple of days. Remember I said bitchygirl said "Thank you" to me the other day? I've also noticed coldshouldergirl has stopped avoiding the printers when I'm there, which she'd very noticably been doing. Well today they actually asked me if I wanted to order lunch!!! Not only that, but when getting the list together I heard bitchygirl ask the girl making the list, "Did you ask T?" Like all of a sudden, she's all concerned about me!
I don't know how their warped thinking works, but I think its somehow connected to me having interviews. They're always complaining about what a dump our work is and how horrible they treat you, and how they have GOT to get another job. But they never do. But you would think they would be jealous instead of suddenly being friendly. Who knows? I'm so sick of trying to interpret their actions that I don't even care enough to try to find out.
I'm going to go shopping for an interview suit this weekend (wish me luck). I also have to fix up my portfolio. I think the place I'm interviewing at on Monday is much more corporate than any I've been to before, so I'll have to spiff things up.
Its weird how there's all these job opportunities all of a sudden. And at good places too! I wonder if it has to do with the surge in population from the misplaced New Orlean's people. I figured that would make it harder to get a job, but I guess with more consumers comes a need for more products. I don't know, I'm just speculating.
Anyway, I'm glad its the weekend and I get a break from the lunatics. I can't wait to get a new job and start meeting new people! Of course I will be terrified to make friends with any of them, but still, new people are a good thing.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on May 5, 2006, at 22:02:12
In reply to Weird, posted by TexasChic on May 5, 2006, at 21:54:06
I just wanted to let yall know, I don't expect anyone to read all my obsessive posts on this thread. Sometimes posting is just a cathartic thing for me. Not that I don't want responses, I do. But even I don't want to go back and read all those posts! I hope I haven't chased everyone off! ;-)
-T
Posted by verne on May 5, 2006, at 22:20:32
In reply to Wow! I've posted like a mad woman on this thread!, posted by TexasChic on May 5, 2006, at 22:02:12
I've been following along. I hope you get the new job and it works out for you.
verne
Posted by Phillipa on May 5, 2006, at 22:31:18
In reply to Wow! I've posted like a mad woman on this thread!, posted by TexasChic on May 5, 2006, at 22:02:12
T I'm still here and you're right it's cathartic. Love Phillipa. ps you have my E-mail rant at me anytime.
Posted by TexasChic on May 6, 2006, at 17:07:12
In reply to Re: Wow! I've posted like a mad woman on this thread! » TexasChic, posted by Phillipa on May 5, 2006, at 22:31:18
Thanks Verne, you're so sweet. You too Phillipa.
Well, I've been out shopping all day and FINALLY found a suit for the interview monday. I looked everywhere! I even gave in and went to the mall to check out some department stores, but I just came out of there feeling poor and fat. It actually made me feel like a bout of depression was coming on. But then, on a whim, I stopped at this place by my house and the first one I picked up was perfect! And it has pinstripes so its actually slimming!
I swear, so many things I tried on were just so unflattering! You would think they would know that in the bigger sizes people will want something slimming. Instead they're all boxy and emphasize the hips. I mean really, what size 16 women is going to want something with not even a suggestion of a waist, and the jacket stops right at the hips so there's this vertical line going, look at my hips! Of course I found all these cute little suits that I couldn't fit my big toe in, and at the same place the larger things were hidious, like a skirt with big flowers all over it. Come on! And what is the deal with the pastels??? Everwhere I looked it was like Easter. Gross.
So anyway, I've got that part done. Now I have to work on spiffing up my portfolio.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on May 6, 2006, at 17:27:01
In reply to Good stuff, posted by TexasChic on May 6, 2006, at 17:07:12
(I felt like my first post was running too long, and was kind of two different subjects, so I split it up. Hence the good stuff, bad stuff.)
Tommorow I'm supposed to meet up with some family members for lunch. My brother is moving to Kentucky and wants to get together one last time. My uncle has a house he can stay in that he'll let him do repairs on in lieu of rent, and he's going to show him how to take care of hogs. Now you've got to realize, we may be southern, but we're city people, so he might as well be going to outer space. But he has had alot of bad things happen at once. His car gave up the ghost, the next day he got fired, and my mom sold my Grandmother's house so he had nowhere to live. It was just one thing after another. So I can see how this is a good opportunity to clear his head and reevaluate his life. He'll be away from all his co-dependent relationships, and maybe will learn that he can rely on himself. Plus he'll be doing entirely physical work, which I don't think he's ever done before, and should be good for him.
The downside is, he's bipolar and doesn't take meds anymore. So I'm kind of worried about him going out there and being so isolated. Plus, of course, he's never been that far away before, and I always worry about him. He's my little brother, and I've always tried to look out for him. So I just don't really know how to feel about the whole thing. I know at some point this will hit me, its just happening so fast right now.
One last thing, I realized my Grandmother's birthday is tuesday. She passed away a year ago in June and its been really hard on me. I realized this as I was driving past her old house, when I was feeling depressed about the whole trying on clothes situation. I think I would have started bawling, but it started raining really hard and I could barely see, so I had to concentrate on driving.
So with that, all the crap at work, the upcoming interview, and my brother moving, I've just got too much sh*t bouncing around in my head!
-T
Posted by Phillipa on May 6, 2006, at 21:32:20
In reply to Bad stuff, posted by TexasChic on May 6, 2006, at 17:27:01
That is though and I emphathize with you. Think positively about the job and what about if you got a good raise enough to help your brother get someone to help him? Love Phillipa
Posted by milly on May 7, 2006, at 14:35:41
In reply to Bad stuff, posted by TexasChic on May 6, 2006, at 17:27:01
> So with that, all the crap at work, the upcoming interview, and my brother moving, I've just got too much sh*t bouncing around in my head!***I have been following your 'saga' but haven't been too great myself, but i wanted you to know I'll be thinking about you tomorrow for your interview, bet you'll look great and ooze confidence.Sorry it's all a bit much right now ((((TC))))
milly
Posted by TexasChic on May 7, 2006, at 20:52:06
In reply to Re: Bad stuff » TexasChic, posted by Phillipa on May 6, 2006, at 21:32:20
> That is though and I emphathize with you. Think positively about the job and what about if you got a good raise enough to help your brother get someone to help him? Love Phillipa
Actually, I'm trying to get out of being the person everyone comes to for money. But I 'am' trying to think positively about the interview, although there's a couple of things I know I'm not strong in. They say you have to type 50 wpm, and I have no idea how fast I type. They also ask for a few programs I don't know, but I do know the other five they ask for. And I can pick up new programs pretty quickly because once you learn one, the rest are usually pretty similiar.
They also ask for 'willingness to work above and beyond regular work hours including late nights, weekends and holidays when needed to achieve goals and meet deadlines'. So I'm like, "oh, great". But to be truthful my last two jobs have been total blow off jobs, so maybe its time to actually make an effort again.
So, I'll let yall know how it goes tomorrow. Thanks for all the support!
-T
Posted by TexasChic on May 7, 2006, at 21:25:42
In reply to Re: Bad stuff » TexasChic, posted by milly on May 7, 2006, at 14:35:41
> ***I have been following your 'saga' but haven't been too great myself, but i wanted you to know I'll be thinking about you tomorrow for your interview, bet you'll look great and ooze confidence.Sorry it's all a bit much right now ((((TC))))
> millyThanks milly! I always think people probably aren't reading what I write, so its funny when I hear that they've been following my story. It makes me feel like I'm famous or something. ;-) It also makes me think, my ramblings can't possibly be all that interesting - those poor people.
Thanks for thinking of me tomorrow. When I start to freak out, I'll try to think of that. Someone, somewhere in the universe is thinking of me and hoping I do well. That's actually very reassuring!
-T
Posted by TexasChic on May 8, 2006, at 18:47:01
In reply to Re: Bad stuff » milly, posted by TexasChic on May 7, 2006, at 21:25:42
This place was awesome, a beautiful building, laid back atmosphere, interesting and challenging subject matter, great benefits. The guy was funny and casual. He said he's not one of those supervisers who knit picks, he cares more about getting it done than how you get it done (I don't know how many times I've wished for that!). He said they have a lot of fun and joke around and best of all, I'd be working with all guys! Wow, I hope I get it! I don't want to get too excited and be disappointed if I don't, but I think its too late for that. He said he would let me find out within the next two weeks. Yea!!!
-T
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