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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 34. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ELA on January 3, 2002, at 11:22:52
I'm training to be a teacher at the moment and so often the kids in my classes come up to me and blurt out their "troubles" : my shoes are the wrong colour, mummy said I can't play with Fred today, I didn't want my pudding, my daddy spilt tea on my school bag etc etc. The things they tell me seem so important to them and any problem experienced by them seems like the end of their world. How I wish I felt like this! As a child I coulnd't wait to be "big" but now that I am, and especially at this time with my problems, I find myself wishing to be part of their world again and having these little worries rather than huge student loans, too much work and days that are so black that I just want to end it all and get away.
Posted by JohnDoenut on January 3, 2002, at 13:39:42
In reply to wish i was little again, posted by ELA on January 3, 2002, at 11:22:52
> I find myself wishing to be part of their world again and having these little worries rather than
ME TOO!
:)
Posted by Kristi on January 3, 2002, at 13:55:18
In reply to Re: wish i was little again, posted by JohnDoenut on January 3, 2002, at 13:39:42
Ditto that..... my big thing is I would LOVE to have just a quarter of the energy kids have!!!!
> > I find myself wishing to be part of their world again and having these little worries rather than
>
> ME TOO!
>
> :)
Posted by IsoM on January 3, 2002, at 15:15:18
In reply to wish i was little again, posted by ELA on January 3, 2002, at 11:22:52
I'm still little. I tell people who know me well that I'm still ten years old in my heart - & I am. I still try to catch moths, will run nto the house with a new, pretty bug to show my sons, I'll still roll in the grass 'cause it feels good.
Sad thing is when I was young, my fears & worries were very real to me. I had a very domineering father who punished the smallest mistakes we made. Being the only girl in a family of boys didn't get me any extra privileges either. My father thought girls didn't count. I honestly remember hiding a heavy metal vase in bed beside me at night to club him with if I needed to.
I know now (he passed away in '88) he never really meant any harm. He just had a brutal, hard life & didn't know how to give love. But when I was small & he'd "prowl" around our beds at night, I though he meant to kill us - honestly! I found out years later, he was just checking to make sure we were properly covered & tucked in but he never showed love so I was terified of him. We all were.
My Mom on the other hand, was so sweet & patient with us all. My father never held me or gave me hug or kiss, even when I was little but my Mom showered us with love. To her, us kids were the best thing in the world. I thank her all the time for it.
Sorry to get so off-track from the original post about wanting to be a little kid again, but I'd never want to go back. I prefer my "childhood" now.
Posted by Katey on January 3, 2002, at 16:17:33
In reply to Don't Want To Be Little Again, posted by IsoM on January 3, 2002, at 15:15:18
i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
> I'm still little. I tell people who know me well that I'm still ten years old in my heart - & I am. I still try to catch moths, will run nto the house with a new, pretty bug to show my sons, I'll still roll in the grass 'cause it feels good.
>
> Sad thing is when I was young, my fears & worries were very real to me. I had a very domineering father who punished the smallest mistakes we made. Being the only girl in a family of boys didn't get me any extra privileges either. My father thought girls didn't count. I honestly remember hiding a heavy metal vase in bed beside me at night to club him with if I needed to.
>
> I know now (he passed away in '88) he never really meant any harm. He just had a brutal, hard life & didn't know how to give love. But when I was small & he'd "prowl" around our beds at night, I though he meant to kill us - honestly! I found out years later, he was just checking to make sure we were properly covered & tucked in but he never showed love so I was terified of him. We all were.
>
> My Mom on the other hand, was so sweet & patient with us all. My father never held me or gave me hug or kiss, even when I was little but my Mom showered us with love. To her, us kids were the best thing in the world. I thank her all the time for it.
>
> Sorry to get so off-track from the original post about wanting to be a little kid again, but I'd never want to go back. I prefer my "childhood" now.
Posted by Katey on January 3, 2002, at 16:19:02
In reply to Don't Want To Be Little Again, posted by IsoM on January 3, 2002, at 15:15:18
i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
> I'm still little. I tell people who know me well that I'm still ten years old in my heart - & I am. I still try to catch moths, will run nto the house with a new, pretty bug to show my sons, I'll still roll in the grass 'cause it feels good.
>
> Sad thing is when I was young, my fears & worries were very real to me. I had a very domineering father who punished the smallest mistakes we made. Being the only girl in a family of boys didn't get me any extra privileges either. My father thought girls didn't count. I honestly remember hiding a heavy metal vase in bed beside me at night to club him with if I needed to.
>
> I know now (he passed away in '88) he never really meant any harm. He just had a brutal, hard life & didn't know how to give love. But when I was small & he'd "prowl" around our beds at night, I though he meant to kill us - honestly! I found out years later, he was just checking to make sure we were properly covered & tucked in but he never showed love so I was terified of him. We all were.
>
> My Mom on the other hand, was so sweet & patient with us all. My father never held me or gave me hug or kiss, even when I was little but my Mom showered us with love. To her, us kids were the best thing in the world. I thank her all the time for it.
>
> Sorry to get so off-track from the original post about wanting to be a little kid again, but I'd never want to go back. I prefer my "childhood" now.
Posted by IsoM on January 3, 2002, at 16:37:09
In reply to id like to be little again and again, posted by Katey on January 3, 2002, at 16:19:02
Posted by dreamer on January 3, 2002, at 22:21:15
In reply to wish i was little again, posted by ELA on January 3, 2002, at 11:22:52
Posted by shellir on January 3, 2002, at 23:00:46
In reply to id like to be little again and again, posted by Katey on January 3, 2002, at 16:17:33
> i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
>Katie, you totally blow my mind. Are you really sure you're only 16?
Shelli
Posted by fallensparrow on January 3, 2002, at 23:24:07
In reply to Don't Want To Be Little Again, posted by IsoM on January 3, 2002, at 15:15:18
I can't count the number of times Ive wished that I was young ... when my eyes still saw the light in the world, when my mind didn't twist everything around me into something desolate and solomn. When I saw the world as a happy place, and when I was happy in it ... unlike now when all my eyes see are darkness, hollow sadness in people's eyes, lies in their actions, and disappointment in all. To be young again, to be naive to the darkness all around us ... sorry to be so dark ... but I can't be anything else when I myself am dark ... I want the innocence back, I want the light back ...
sparrow
Posted by ELA on January 4, 2002, at 4:34:09
In reply to to be little again..., posted by fallensparrow on January 3, 2002, at 23:24:07
Exactly.
> I can't count the number of times Ive wished that I was young ... when my eyes still saw the light in the world, when my mind didn't twist everything around me into something desolate and solomn. When I saw the world as a happy place, and when I was happy in it ... unlike now when all my eyes see are darkness, hollow sadness in people's eyes, lies in their actions, and disappointment in all. To be young again, to be naive to the darkness all around us ... sorry to be so dark ... but I can't be anything else when I myself am dark ... I want the innocence back, I want the light back ...
> sparrow
Posted by ELA on January 4, 2002, at 4:41:57
In reply to Don't Want To Be Little Again, posted by IsoM on January 3, 2002, at 15:15:18
I can identify with this. My father had a loveless childhood and to this day he can barely speak to his mother. My childhood was filled with the fear of not living up to his expectations of me and doing things that he wanted me to do whether I wanted them or not.
Only now at 20 years of age have I begun to get out and do things for myself and try and move on from all the painful memories I have. I look at the children I am teaching who seem not to have a care in the world. At 5 years old I would hope that they didn't as well! Maybe it's not that i want to be little again, I'd just like to escape into their world when things get bad for me.
> I'm still little. I tell people who know me well that I'm still ten years old in my heart - & I am. I still try to catch moths, will run nto the house with a new, pretty bug to show my sons, I'll still roll in the grass 'cause it feels good.
>
> Sad thing is when I was young, my fears & worries were very real to me. I had a very domineering father who punished the smallest mistakes we made. Being the only girl in a family of boys didn't get me any extra privileges either. My father thought girls didn't count. I honestly remember hiding a heavy metal vase in bed beside me at night to club him with if I needed to.
>
> I know now (he passed away in '88) he never really meant any harm. He just had a brutal, hard life & didn't know how to give love. But when I was small & he'd "prowl" around our beds at night, I though he meant to kill us - honestly! I found out years later, he was just checking to make sure we were properly covered & tucked in but he never showed love so I was terified of him. We all were.
>
> My Mom on the other hand, was so sweet & patient with us all. My father never held me or gave me hug or kiss, even when I was little but my Mom showered us with love. To her, us kids were the best thing in the world. I thank her all the time for it.
>
> Sorry to get so off-track from the original post about wanting to be a little kid again, but I'd never want to go back. I prefer my "childhood" now.
Posted by ELA on January 4, 2002, at 4:44:31
In reply to id like to be little again and again, posted by Katey on January 3, 2002, at 16:17:33
So am I Katey.> i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
Posted by Katey on January 4, 2002, at 11:31:38
In reply to Re: id like to be little again and again » Katey, posted by shellir on January 3, 2002, at 23:00:46
seventeen in feb, but yes. is that an odd way to think?
> > i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
> >
>
> Katie, you totally blow my mind. Are you really sure you're only 16?
>
> Shelli
Posted by shellir on January 4, 2002, at 12:17:58
In reply to Re: id like to be little again and again » shellir, posted by Katey on January 4, 2002, at 11:31:38
> seventeen in feb, but yes. is that an odd way to think?
>
Hi Katie,Not odd, actually very balanced. It's just I never heard a 16 year old who knew about empty nests and that people live to be 70 and beyond. I don't think I ever thought of those things when I was sixteen (almost seventeen) and I was a pretty intense kid. I get good clues from my clients and my neice about how kids think, but my neice is only fourteen so I don't know alot about sixteen year olds, yet. :-)
Shelli
> > > i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
> > >
> >
> > Katie, you totally blow my mind. Are you really sure you're only 16?
> >
> > Shelli
Posted by mair on January 4, 2002, at 13:18:06
In reply to Re: id like to be little again and again » shellir, posted by Katey on January 4, 2002, at 11:31:38
> Katey - I wish I could get you together with my 16 year old son. I think he could benefit alot from your influence. He's a great kid but I wish he had a quarter of your insight and thoughtfulness.
Mair
Posted by IsoM on January 4, 2002, at 13:59:46
In reply to Re: id like to be little again and again » shellir, posted by Katey on January 4, 2002, at 11:31:38
Katie, my youngest is 19, almost 20 & he sounds like you. My oldest is 26 & both have had bad bouts with depression. Both have been hospitalised fr being suicidal too.
I think any one who's had real depression problems when young gains a maturity that easy-going kids don't have. It's from experiencing what it's like that gives them insight.
My 19 yr old, Tyrel, says that young people are way too much in a hurry to grow up & grown up life is full of heavy responsibilities & hardships - not a freedom from following orders like many think.
One time, jokingly, he said he can't wait till he grows old & decrepit. Then he can wear tacky jogging suits, use a cane, & wave it at young kids & shout "you young'ns git off my lawn before I whump ya a good one!" He was only kidding of course, he knows old age isn't great either. But it was a comment on trying to find enjoyment at whatever stage of life we're at without always wishing we were another age.
You'd both probably get along very well.
> seventeen in feb, but yes. is that an odd way to think?
>
>
> > > i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
> > >
> >
> > Katie, you totally blow my mind. Are you really sure you're only 16?
> >
> > Shelli
Posted by Katey on January 4, 2002, at 20:47:18
In reply to for Katey » Katey, posted by IsoM on January 4, 2002, at 13:59:46
awwwwwwwww thank you :-) i was one of those kids who hung on for dearlife to childhood, and spent a good chunk of that in books reading about 'perfect childhoods'. im also the youngest/only child, and my parents are half empty nesters. and ive always loved the poem 'when i am an old lady i shall wear purple'. you show it to your son sometime if you can find it, i'm sure he would get quite a kick out of it. so i suppose that explains most of my quirks. im flattered that someone actually considers me a good influence, most people see me as grumpy. and as far as forteen year olds, they dont know nothin' yet :-)
out of curiosity, what kind of clients do you have? if you dont mind my asking, of course.
> Katie, my youngest is 19, almost 20 & he sounds like you. My oldest is 26 & both have had bad bouts with depression. Both have been hospitalised fr being suicidal too.
>
> I think any one who's had real depression problems when young gains a maturity that easy-going kids don't have. It's from experiencing what it's like that gives them insight.
>
> My 19 yr old, Tyrel, says that young people are way too much in a hurry to grow up & grown up life is full of heavy responsibilities & hardships - not a freedom from following orders like many think.
>
> One time, jokingly, he said he can't wait till he grows old & decrepit. Then he can wear tacky jogging suits, use a cane, & wave it at young kids & shout "you young'ns git off my lawn before I whump ya a good one!" He was only kidding of course, he knows old age isn't great either. But it was a comment on trying to find enjoyment at whatever stage of life we're at without always wishing we were another age.
>
> You'd both probably get along very well.
>
>
> > seventeen in feb, but yes. is that an odd way to think?
> >
> >
> > > > i'm planning on having atleast three more childhoods. one when i have kids, one when i have an empty nest, and the next one when i turn seventy. and that one will be complete with the swing set i never had :-)
> > > >
> > >
> > > Katie, you totally blow my mind. Are you really sure you're only 16?
> > >
> > > Shelli
Posted by shellir on January 4, 2002, at 21:15:23
In reply to shellir, mair, IsoM, posted by Katey on January 4, 2002, at 20:47:18
> awwwwwwwww thank you :-) i was one of those kids who hung on for dearlife to childhood, and spent a good chunk of that in books reading about 'perfect childhoods'. im also the youngest/only child, and my parents are half empty nesters. and ive always loved the poem 'when i am an old lady i shall wear purple'. you show it to your son sometime if you can find it, i'm sure he would get quite a kick out of it. so i suppose that explains most of my quirks. im flattered that someone actually considers me a good influence, most people see me as grumpy. and as far as forteen year olds, they dont know nothin' yet :-)
>
> out of curiosity, what kind of clients do you have? if you dont mind my asking, of course.
>Katie,
you are a wonderful trip (do your parents have sayings from the 70s, like trip < g >?)
I am a portrait photographer and photograph a lot of kids of all ages--it's sort of my specialty.
Shelli
Posted by Katey on January 5, 2002, at 12:12:49
In reply to Re: shellir, mair, IsoM » Katey, posted by shellir on January 4, 2002, at 21:15:23
not so much from the seventies, more from the sixties, eighties (when my sibs were teenagers) and they make fun of the current sayings.
photography is definately an acceptable occupation, my dad used to do it in his spare time, and i grew up in a dark room, which i miss terribly.
and i have to return the compliment, youre a wonderful trip as well.
> > awwwwwwwww thank you :-) i was one of those kids who hung on for dearlife to childhood, and spent a good chunk of that in books reading about 'perfect childhoods'. im also the youngest/only child, and my parents are half empty nesters. and ive always loved the poem 'when i am an old lady i shall wear purple'. you show it to your son sometime if you can find it, i'm sure he would get quite a kick out of it. so i suppose that explains most of my quirks. im flattered that someone actually considers me a good influence, most people see me as grumpy. and as far as forteen year olds, they dont know nothin' yet :-)
> >
> > out of curiosity, what kind of clients do you have? if you dont mind my asking, of course.
> >
>
> Katie,
>
> you are a wonderful trip (do your parents have sayings from the 70s, like trip < g >?)
>
> I am a portrait photographer and photograph a lot of kids of all ages--it's sort of my specialty.
>
> Shelli
Posted by shellir on January 5, 2002, at 22:39:48
In reply to Re: shellir, mair, IsoM » shellir, posted by Katey on January 5, 2002, at 12:12:49
> not so much from the seventies, more from the sixties, eighties (when my sibs were teenagers) and they make fun of the current sayings.
>
> photography is definately an acceptable occupation, my dad used to do it in his spare time, and i grew up in a dark room, which i miss terribly.any time you're in the washington, d.c. area, you can come and work in my darkroom. I would love to be able to spend no time in the darkroom, but all my portraits are black & white, so no way.
This is a site for the best photographs from the washington post on their site. I think the presentation is awesome; a few of the pictures are also awesome.
www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/photo/flash/bop/2001/bop.htm
shelli
Posted by Katey on January 6, 2002, at 11:20:22
In reply to Re: shellir, mair, IsoM » Katey, posted by shellir on January 5, 2002, at 22:39:48
that sounds wonderful, i think i like the dark room better than the studio. i guess i'm a technical dork like that. now if we could just find someone to develop the negatives :-)
at anyrate, i'm off to go have a look at that site, which looks quite fun.
> > not so much from the seventies, more from the sixties, eighties (when my sibs were teenagers) and they make fun of the current sayings.
> >
> > photography is definately an acceptable occupation, my dad used to do it in his spare time, and i grew up in a dark room, which i miss terribly.
>
> any time you're in the washington, d.c. area, you can come and work in my darkroom. I would love to be able to spend no time in the darkroom, but all my portraits are black & white, so no way.
>
> This is a site for the best photographs from the washington post on their site. I think the presentation is awesome; a few of the pictures are also awesome.
>
> www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/photo/flash/bop/2001/bop.htm
>
> shelli
Posted by Mair on January 6, 2002, at 17:31:56
In reply to Re: shellir, mair, IsoM » shellir, posted by Katey on January 6, 2002, at 11:20:22
Katey
Not to intrude, but how much younger are you than your siblings. Are you all of the same parents or are you a blended family.Mair (just really curious)
Posted by Katey on January 6, 2002, at 20:07:15
In reply to Katey, a question, posted by Mair on January 6, 2002, at 17:31:56
not intrusive what so ever. we're a partially blended family. my siblings are wholes to eachother, halves to me. their from my moms first marriage. the guy i still call daddy is my actual father and still resides under the same roof. my brother is 12 years older than i am, and my sister is 14 years older than i am. it was an interesting early childhood, but they both moved out when i was seven, so im mostly an only child.
> Katey
> Not to intrude, but how much younger are you than your siblings. Are you all of the same parents or are you a blended family.
>
> Mair (just really curious)
Posted by fi on January 7, 2002, at 11:56:24
In reply to wish i was little again, posted by ELA on January 3, 2002, at 11:22:52
I havent read all the other posts, so apologies if repeating.
Only to say that its not that straightforward- the worries that seem minor to us can seem catastrophic to a child. And they have less understanding of the world, and even less control over what happens to them. So although they seem to be having a protected and easy time to us, as if we had only their concerns we would be ecstatic, that's not how they are experiencing it. As you say, they can think its the end of the world and consequently react in a way we only would to things *we* thought were the end of the world.
The ideal would be to have only their worries at our age!
I suppose another point to this will be the comparison- I can see that it is particularly likely someone will be wistful if they had a happy childhood and are now miserable.
And you have far too much on your plate just at the moment- any way of giving yourself a lighter load would be worth a try. If possible.
Fi
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