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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on December 20, 2007, at 0:04:44
Do "successful" people only hang around others who are successful?
My sister came home. She's pretty successful. She's younger than me. She finished her degree in biochemistry and is thinking of either getting her Masters or taking the MCATS.
She told me successful people like my pdoc would never be friends with someone who was unsuccessful like myself.
My sister puts me down a lot. There's a possibility I got a better grade in organic chemistry II than my sister did, but she says it doesn't mean anything because I only took one class.
I just feel worthless next to my sister. She has a steady boyfriend, lots of friends, is successful in school and has experience in her field.
I told her I don't compare myself to other people and she asked, "Is that what your psychiatrist told you?" implying that she is only doing her job trying to make me feel better but that in reality some people are better than others.
:-(
I wish I were successful.
Posted by Phillipa on December 20, 2007, at 0:11:21
In reply to Do successful people..., posted by Deneb on December 20, 2007, at 0:04:44
Deneb your sister sounds like she may be jelous maybe cause you are so smart. You know I know nothing compared to you. Sometimes people with low self-esteem down others to feel better about themselves not to say she is but what do you think? Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on December 20, 2007, at 1:23:20
In reply to Do successful people..., posted by Deneb on December 20, 2007, at 0:04:44
I feel like a loser. I feel like I need to get a PhD or an M.D. for my sister to respect me.
I think I want people to respect me.
Academic achievement is very important to me, but I think I ruined my chances of getting into graduate or medical school.
I'm getting bad thoughts again, like maybe I should just end this life and hopefully reincarate and become a doctor in another life.
I want everyone to respect me. I want to be special. I hate this. I'm a loser. Dr. Bob, I'm a loser. I think I love you so much because you're successful and I wish I could be like you.
I ruined my life. I want to starve myself to death now. I hate my life. I'm a no body. I want to die.
Starving takes too long, maybe I should just hang myself.
I want to be successful. I don't want to live as a loser. I hope I die in my sleep tonight.
I don't want to live anymore. I want to die. I want to die. I'm sad.
It's my black and white thinking. If I can't be a doctor, I'd rather be dead.
If I kill myself, I'm sure someone will let Babble know. Some Babblers know my real name.
Posted by Deneb on December 20, 2007, at 2:04:50
In reply to ***Triggers*** feeling worthless, posted by Deneb on December 20, 2007, at 1:23:20
I'm better now. I don't want to die anymore. My sister talked to me. She's a good person. I think I misinterpret the things she says sometimes. She said there are many ways to succeed and plenty of people choose not to go to graduate school.
She said she will help me with my studying and organization skills.
She said I really need to learn to not jump to wanting to kill myself whenever I feel upset.
I think she cares. She seems to want to help.
Sorry about my freak out.
Posted by Eltoro on December 20, 2007, at 2:47:41
In reply to Do successful people..., posted by Deneb on December 20, 2007, at 0:04:44
Dont be so hard on yourself, Deneb.
My brother or sisters have never ever rubbed in my face that they are more succesful than I am, but my friends do it all the time, well, they dont, but its easy for me to interpret things the wrong way, most of them have MBAs and kids. And im still a loser, struggling to get decent clothes, a crappy car, etc.
But I cant try to be like them, i always got bad grades by choice, my friends and family knows i could have gotten straight As easily if I tried half as much as most of them. What I am trying to say is intelect is nothing, im still a loser, and those who tried harder are succesful, life is easy if you try, and hard if you dont.
The key is in how you handle emotions, thats where the difference comes from. For example, dont fantasize about having a better job or more money than your friends or your sister, instead, try fantasizing about having better relationships, with your not exceedingly superior husband, or with your not picture perfect family (kids), just imagine getting along wonderfully with people around you, and thats the feelings you should be after.
Then make it a goal to feel that way, to be prepared for handling people and relationships, because you are smart you have it made in that regard, its the emotions that need some work out.
Best of luck to you.
Posted by Dinah on December 20, 2007, at 7:57:44
In reply to I'm better now, sorry, posted by Deneb on December 20, 2007, at 2:04:50
I'm glad your sister didn't really say those things, or mean them. It would make me think that she doesn't quite grasp the meaning of true success, which surely includes kindness and compassion?
I'm glad you're feeling better.
Posted by rskontos on December 20, 2007, at 9:25:58
In reply to Re: Do successful people..., posted by Eltoro on December 20, 2007, at 2:47:41
Deneb, your sister maybe on the outside looking like she is doing better but my h is doing fantastic he has the highest position of his life making an unreal amount of money but that doesn't mean he doesn't suffer from bouts of neediness as I call it. His boss is the CEO of the company and talk about someone needing a hand held all the time. Now the guy that owns the company a guy with some major bucks and is really successful he doesn't. He is some one who would listen to any of us with an open mind. I have met some influential people through my husband and I can always spot those that are still under it all that has self esteem issues. Just look at hollywood. Filled with successful people with drug problems, alcohol problems, and self esteem issues although they may be box office attractions. Successful I think has several measures. My husband has two masters and could easily get a phD if wanted. He probably will. He is a very intelligent man that comes and ask for my advice constantly. Of course I am the more intelligent one. LOL. I actually graduated from undergrad school from Vanderbilt with a higher gpa than he did. And my scores to into grad school were higher I didn't go because I got pregnant. And it was high risk.
Now I am messed in my head and he is too probably just better at hiding it or dealing with it who knows. He does sometimes talk down to me and one of my parts comes out takes him down a notch or too and we go on. It works.
I think success is how you measure it. I don't measure myself as a successful person right now. But that is me. He does. It is an individual thing. Your sister I am afraid is insecure and you are her measuring stick. So I don't think she will let you go up because then she will have to do more. She doesn't want to so you can. Blow her off for your sake. She is your sister you love her but you don't have to accept her view of you. You get to make your own view of your self.
You are ok the way you are. Dont change or do anything for her. do it for you. only.
take care.
rsk
Posted by muffled on December 20, 2007, at 9:27:31
In reply to Re: I'm better now, sorry » Deneb, posted by Dinah on December 20, 2007, at 7:57:44
There's plenty of "successful" people out there, that are still not happy.....
And look at you Deneb, how you DID get thru this. You talked to your sister, you let us know you are OK.
Deneb, to me, you are very successful already. Your still here. You have learned SO much.
You HAVE made many improvements.
You have a kind heart.
Your OK Deneb, we grow our whole lives.
Take care,
M
Posted by MidnightBlue on December 20, 2007, at 11:20:02
In reply to Do successful people..., posted by Deneb on December 20, 2007, at 0:04:44
Deneb,
Your sister is trying to make herself feel better, not you! Besides you can't compare yourself to her. You and your sister did not start at the same starting line.
What you should look at is not where you are in comparison to her, but where you are compared to where you used to be.
And Deneb, you are way on down the road! You are doing great!
MB
Posted by Deneb on January 7, 2008, at 1:31:52
In reply to Re: Do successful people... » Deneb, posted by MidnightBlue on December 20, 2007, at 11:20:02
Oops, I'm sorry, I forgot about this thread!
I will reply.
This is the end of the thread.
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