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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by DepressedJoe on November 1, 2004, at 22:03:01
The love of my life is gone. She thought I didn't love her. She thought I was looking for love elsewhere and all I ever wanted was her. I made a stupid joke and she took it the wrong way. It kills me to know that all this time I've invested in us and planned on spending with her - just her - in the future is ended because she took something I said the wrong way and never seriously addressed it with me after I did. It kills to think I am the one responsible for this. To be honest with you: I hate myself right now. She's the one I knew in my heart I'd spend the rest of my life with. Even strangers saw that. I remember a girl at karaoke came up to us once and said she believed we were a perfect couple. I'm very hurt and in pain and a little angry. I'm angry because I feel I deserved a chance. No matter where I've been in the past year - when I've been there alone, she has always been on my mind. Every spare moment of my time I've only wanted to spend with her. It's not fair for her to treat me this way when she now knows the truth. She accuses me of making her feel fat and unwanted. She had "a few extra pounds". I didn't care. I was concerned about her health because she'd barely eat around me and she'd be sick a lot. I told her she needed to be healthy and fit and eat more. She wanted me to support her. So I tried. I did what I thought she wanted me to do and constantly motivated her. I always told her she was beautiful and to make sure she was doing it for herself. She was so fickle about different exercises and would try a different tool every two weeks. I wasn't trying to be degrading. I also met her when she didn't have a job or car and I did nag her a bit about getting out there and putting applications in because she was home a lot. I helped her get her license, too! I hadn't dated much and I was feeling like I wanted to marry her about 9 months in to thhe relationship, but I wanted to make sure she was the one so I told her I thought we should slow it down, go out on a few dates with some other people and then re-evaluate. I thought about it for a week and decided not to do it. I thought I expressed that to her. She met a guy at work that she was just hanging out with as "friends" she told me and started distancing herself, but wanted to know how I felt about her. I was going to propose and tried to get her to come to a certain place but couldn't get her there because she was depressed about where we were at. I didn't want to do it on the phone. One thing led to another...argument...she tells me she hates me...threatens a restraining order because I wanted to discuss this in person rather than in an e-mail or over the phone...she says I am garbage...that I crushed her beating heart into the ground when I said we should try dating others...and she won't give me a second chance. She's made that clear through poetry and unkind words. She won't take my calls. She threw away my flowers. I produced a song for her and a video and she wrote them off. She was so in love with me and was the most self-less loving girl I'd ever met. I can't lose her. I am sooooo depressed. I feel responsible, desperate and lonely. Please help with advice. I think I messed up.
Posted by dazedandconfused on November 2, 2004, at 19:46:30
In reply to My Girlfriend broke up with me hatefully, posted by DepressedJoe on November 1, 2004, at 22:03:01
Joe,
I am so sorry you are going through this. In my opinion, breakups are one of the hardest things to deal with in life. And this sounds like it was a tough breakup. The first thing you need to do...whether the breakup is permanent or whether you get back together is to take care of yourself. Do you have some friends you can lean on and hang out with while this all sorts itself out? It sounds like she is not ready to communicate with you so I would try to respect her wishes. Wait for things to cool off before you try to work things out between you. If you are still having a lot of trouble dealing with this, you may want to contact a therapist who can help you.Hope this helps,
dazed
Posted by DepressedJoe on November 2, 2004, at 20:06:17
In reply to Re: My Girlfriend broke up with me hatefully, posted by dazedandconfused on November 2, 2004, at 19:46:30
She called me today and said she's already dating someone and that it's getting serious. I begged her to come back since we'd spent so much time together. She wont do that to him. What can I do?! I love her so much and it's killing me. I would've married her...how could she go so quickly to another?
joe
> Joe,
> I am so sorry you are going through this. In my opinion, breakups are one of the hardest things to deal with in life. And this sounds like it was a tough breakup. The first thing you need to do...whether the breakup is permanent or whether you get back together is to take care of yourself. Do you have some friends you can lean on and hang out with while this all sorts itself out? It sounds like she is not ready to communicate with you so I would try to respect her wishes. Wait for things to cool off before you try to work things out between you. If you are still having a lot of trouble dealing with this, you may want to contact a therapist who can help you.
>
> Hope this helps,
> dazed
Posted by starrc68 on November 3, 2004, at 13:30:01
In reply to Re: My Girlfriend broke up with me hatefully, posted by DepressedJoe on November 2, 2004, at 20:06:17
i am so sorry to hear about you breakup they are so hard to get through if you need to vent please feel free to talk i know how you feel i really do i have been through it to many times myself. please know it will take time for you to heal but things will get better just give your self some time.
here anytime
candy
Posted by AdaGrace on November 13, 2004, at 11:09:15
In reply to My Girlfriend broke up with me hatefully, posted by DepressedJoe on November 1, 2004, at 22:03:01
This is so hard. I know. Maybe she is with another out of revenge. Or maybe it is a rebound relationship. Let her know, somehow, through an e-mail or something that you want to give her the time and space she is asking for. I know it's hard. Sometimes we find out just how much we miss something when it is taken away from us. I think time is important. Maybe you feel like if you don't get her back right away, you will lose her forever.......at least that I how I deal with things. I don't know, but my gut tells me to give it some time. Let her know you still love her just the way she is, but let her know that you are going to give her the space she wants. If it is meant to be, it will be. I know that sounds corny, and coming from me, a person who has such turmoil in her heart right now, it might sound shallow, but I truely believe it. If someone is meant to be with someone, it will be whether it is right now, next week, next month or next year, it will be.
God Bless, and Take Care
AdaGrace
Posted by deressedonearth on April 5, 2005, at 22:10:44
In reply to Re: My Girlfriend broke up with me hatefully » DepressedJoe, posted by AdaGrace on November 13, 2004, at 11:09:15
I to am going through a break up and its so very hard. I was wondering now that its been a few months for you if you ever got over it. I feel like my life is over and i dont see the light at the end of the tunnel. I miss her so much and there is nothing i can do. please help
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