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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 81 to 105 of 222. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 10:28:22
In reply to empty words » Dr. Bob, posted by muffled on February 26, 2009, at 10:11:40
> You sure don't trigger this one by being absent.
> And ya, it IS abusive when somoene you hold in esteem ... doesn't help you when you being hurt.
> Who just mysteriously not there, even though he said he'd be.
> Who keeps saying, I am coming but never does.
>
> Hmmmm.Ya, hmmmm.
Bob
Posted by muffled on February 26, 2009, at 10:43:40
In reply to Re: GHOSTS, posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 10:28:22
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 11:03:34
In reply to Re: facing realities..., posted by HappyChaiTea on February 24, 2009, at 22:23:15
> My psychoanalyst ... has now suggested that my mental health would be better served by not participating here
>
> twinleaf> my Pdoc really doesn't want me here.
>
> fayeroe> my analyst doesn't give me advise either except to suggest that it might be best not to post here
>
> Zeba> My therapist does not want me posting and participating here.
>
> pc> My T is one who doesn't want me on here
>
> HappyChaiTea> he told me to stay away from Babble
>
> BaySo there's a subgroup of you who stay despite professional advice to leave.
> My psychoanalyst ... feels that the present Babble system ... replicates emotionally unfair and abusive families of origin too closely to be healthy.
> We don't really know anyone here as well as we think we do, and our hopes and desires may fill in the gaps too much, and thus set us up for rejection and disappointment.
>
> twinleafMaybe you stay because of hopes and desires you have.
> All of these blocks, while appropriate under the present guidelines, were the result of my standing up for a principle I believed in
But maybe some hopes and desires are likely to be frustrated here. For example, because I might also stand up for a principle I believe in -- and I have more power here.
You may find it less frustrating if you adjust your hopes and desires. I know that's easier said than done. And you may not even want to do that. And even if you do, you may not know in what direction to do so.
> we can talk with I statements and all that,(the babble way)
>
> They can improve their communications skills.Certainly one option, though it may not feel very exciting, is to work on improving I-statement skills.
Bob
Posted by muffled on February 26, 2009, at 11:13:18
In reply to Re: GHOSTS, posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 10:28:22
> > You sure don't trigger this one by being absent.
>
> > And ya, it IS abusive when somoene you hold in esteem ... doesn't help you when you being hurt.
> > Who just mysteriously not there, even though he said he'd be.
> > Who keeps saying, I am coming but never does.
> >
> > Hmmmm.
>
> Ya, hmmmm.
>
> Bob*Perhaps I should clarify...
I do appreciate what seems to come across as a sense of humour from Bob. I enjoy humour, I think it is huge.
So I was laffing at myself cuz ya I kinda knew I was talking myself into a box but posted anyways cuz ya it WAS funny!
I also laff at the short response. Well done.
I am not angry, its so hard to express oneself on just words.There seems to be something likable about Bob, but that may just be due to his position of power here. Y'know, old habit of keeping oneself safe by keeping in good favor of the one who has the power to hurt you....
I dunno. Neither here nor there, just vaguely curious.Primarily the reason for this post, is to indicate, that yes, I do seem to have an aspect of me that does enjoy Bob, BUT, the part he <didn't> cut and paste was the part about how for me, in my perception, the BIGGER problem for me is seeing others(oh heck, I will just say it) the deputies get hurt. I was here for that whole process and it just sticks in my craw very badly as an injustice that doesn't need to be and shouldn't be. And yes, there is some guilt in there as well, because those kind posters who bravely and generously stepped up to do the job, and I didn't. I was suspicious (it turns our justifiably...)of Bobs motives. But I still feel guilty cuz I bailed. I bailed on fellow babblers and on deps. I wimped out. Thats not usu my way.
Hmmmm again, ya, I guess I only now, upon writing this, realize how bad I have felt bout my not strpping up to ther plate :(
So I suppose that guilt is showing in my somewhat rabid support of the deps.
So, its not so much that I really give a crap bout Bob (sorry dude, like you care anyways, NOT), its more my own selfish guilt, and my defense of those who have been IMHO wronged.
Just to be clear, its also the blocks I have huge issue with....
Ya, and bmail....
Sigh.
I'll shut up now.
Thanks for letting me say my piece and listening to me if you got this far anyone.
I gotta think now, cuz some of this is new to me.
TGC
M
Posted by fayeroe on February 26, 2009, at 11:19:55
In reply to Re: facing realities..., posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 11:03:34
"So there's a subgroup of you who stay despite professional advice to leave."
I stay because I have friends here and I also stay because I see people being hurt and I am willing to tilt against your windmills when I see injustice. I actually am not here for you or your advice. I have very little invested in this site (I've said that before) because I don't trust your administrative skills.
My Pdoc knows my feelings about the friends here. He was fine with it until he came here and followed some threads from start to finish. He is concerned about administration also.
Pat
Posted by muffled on February 26, 2009, at 11:24:23
In reply to Re: facing realities..., posted by fayeroe on February 26, 2009, at 11:19:55
Ya (((Pat)))
it real hard to walk away :(
Posted by garnet71 on February 26, 2009, at 12:02:52
In reply to Re: facing realities..., posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 11:03:34
The dynamics involved in participating in the community here are similar to dealing with problems outside of this website. In real life, you find ways to cope, adapt, and solve problems based upon what you have the power to do. You determine what is best for you and make choices based upon your options.
There are situations we all have to deal with that are, quite simply, less than ideal. Life is unfair. Life can be harsh. We deal with problems, obstacles, societal barriers, mean or abusive people, well everything from A-Z; we can either deal, cope, overcome, adapt, run from, ignore or even strive to change...but we can't control or change the world around us. However, we can change our attitude about how we deal with such obstacles to overcome them or cope with them in facilitating our optimal health and growth.
You can't necessarily change others or aggregate life around you, but you can change yourself. Within each individual lies a power that can be skillfully harnessed to healthfully cope with any all situations to achieve your best. When you're feeling powerlessness--tap into your own unique powers to cultivate balance and growth. Otherwise, you might find yourself endlessly swimming, or even treading water. Don't swim; fly.
My 2 cents.
Posted by garnet71 on February 26, 2009, at 12:20:41
In reply to Re: facing realities...All, posted by garnet71 on February 26, 2009, at 12:02:52
A simpler, more abstract take on life:
Tread water - being caught up in all the things you can't change; inhibits self growth; not obtaining goals or growth by becoming a victim of self
Swim - expending too much mental energy on issues that don't add or that can inhibit your person growth; trying to change too much outside of oneself rather than cultivating self growth and spirit
Fly - achieving your goals or life dreams by harnessing your individual powers; a state that could be reached by utilizing such powers to sort out the things you should and should not devote energy to. Skillfully, selectively expending mental energy only on such things that will allow obtainment of goals and your optimal growth.
Not about any individual here; just a thought about life that emerged from analyzing some of my dreams. Pay attention to any flying dreams you might have.
Posted by zazenducke on February 26, 2009, at 14:28:37
In reply to a new beginning..., posted by twinleaf on February 21, 2009, at 15:46:43
Sorry you were blocked twinleaf.
I think your analyst is quite insightful as are you.
My old t said much the same tho he stopped short of telling me to leave. He was analytically oriented tho I was not in analysis.
Another therapist just said stay away from there among other things which dont fit the posting criteria :)And yet I return between blocks...for much the same reasons as Fayeroe I suppose.
I think the majority of long blocks come from people defending others. I don't think that is being a "caped crusader" I just think it's being compassionate and couragous and staying true to your ideals. Speaking of courageous , I think you were when you made a public complaint about your former analyst!
One problem with Babble is that there is no accountability, I think there should be.
You made a huge contribution to the Psychology board. Thank you for that. Hope you are keeping well and enjoying life!
Posted by zazenducke on February 26, 2009, at 14:33:16
In reply to ROFL!, posted by muffled on February 25, 2009, at 18:11:47
Whatever happened to Alex? Is she forever blocked?
LOL< I got great admiration for that gal!
Me and you both Muffled
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 15:39:12
In reply to Re: GHOSTS » Dr. Bob, posted by muffled on February 26, 2009, at 11:13:18
> What the deputies can't do is take the whole picture into consideration.
>
> twinleaf> IF you are going to let people govern themselves, then get rid of the deputies and rules.
> there is just too much for just few deputies to handle the board
>
> HappyChaiTea> the BIGGER problem for me is seeing ... the deputies get hurt. ... And yes, there is some guilt in there as well, because those kind posters who bravely and generously stepped up to do the job, and I didn't.
>
> muffledI feel hurt when they're hurt. I know what they do, it's hard, and they're outstanding. They do take the whole picture into consideration. I disagree with them sometimes, and you may disagree with them sometimes. Reasonable people can disagree. I don't think the answer is to get rid of them, or the rules, or for others who'd feel uncomfortable in the role to volunteer.
We do discuss whether more deputies (who'd feel comfortable in the role) would help.
It may help if complaints about them are emailed to me directly and not posted or submitted using the notification system. And if blocks are longer for incivility toward them. So let's make those changes:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by muffled on February 26, 2009, at 15:46:04
In reply to Re: deputies get hurt, posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 15:39:12
:-( I wished noboddy ever get hurt ever :-(
Posted by zazenducke on February 26, 2009, at 21:40:22
In reply to Re: deputies get hurt, posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 15:39:12
I believe the deputies are inconsistent, sometimes show favoritism and have on occasion been deliberately cruel while staying within the letter of the law
but hey nobody's perfectSo i stand a willing guinea piggie for your latest rule
go ahead..make Dinah a Jessica-ban me for a long long time :)
No hard feelings here and hope peace and love overshadow the board!
Your friend
Zazenducke
>
> > there is just too much for just few deputies to handle the board
> >
> > HappyChaiTea
>
> > the BIGGER problem for me is seeing ... the deputies get hurt. ... And yes, there is some guilt in there as well, because those kind posters who bravely and generously stepped up to do the job, and I didn't.
> >
> > muffled
>
> I feel hurt when they're hurt. I know what they do, it's hard, and they're outstanding. They do take the whole picture into consideration. I disagree with them sometimes, and you may disagree with them sometimes. Reasonable people can disagree. I don't think the answer is to get rid of them, or the rules, or for others who'd feel uncomfortable in the role to volunteer.
>
> We do discuss whether more deputies (who'd feel comfortable in the role) would help.
>
> It may help if complaints about them are emailed to me directly and not posted or submitted using the notification system. And if blocks are longer for incivility toward them. So let's make those changes:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce
>
> Thanks,
>
> Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 22:17:03
In reply to i complain about the deputies, posted by zazenducke on February 26, 2009, at 21:40:22
> I believe the deputies are inconsistent
Please don't post anything that could lead others (such as the deputies) to feel accused or put down.
But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
More information about posting policies and tips on alternative ways to express oneself are in the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
PS: According to the formula:
duration of previous block: 38 weeks
period of time since previous block: 16 weeks
severity: 2 (default) + 2 (uncivil toward deputies) = 4
block length = 96.15 capped = 52 weeks
Posted by HappyChaiTea on February 26, 2009, at 23:26:42
In reply to a new beginning..., posted by twinleaf on February 21, 2009, at 15:46:43
Good try everyone for change, I guess the discussion is now over... just do what you feel is best for you...
Posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 9:36:31
In reply to Re: blocked for 52 weeks » zazenducke, posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 22:17:03
> > I believe the deputies are inconsistent
>
> Please don't post anything that could lead others (such as the deputies) to feel accused or put down.
>
> But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
>
> More information about posting policies and tips on alternative ways to express oneself are in the FAQ:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce
>
> Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Bob
>
> PS: According to the formula:
>
> duration of previous block: 38 weeks
> period of time since previous block: 16 weeks
> severity: 2 (default) + 2 (uncivil toward deputies) = 4
> block length = 96.15 capped = 52 weeksAm I correct in thinking that a person can come here and post and become a part of this community and they cannot say that their belief is that the deputies are inconsistent?
I'm going to get my rose colored paint out and get busy. I don't think there is anything like a good paint job to hide the doors to the closets where the skeletons are kept.
I am excited. I like nothing better than hiding old decor under new paint.
Posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 9:38:50
In reply to i complain about the deputies, posted by zazenducke on February 26, 2009, at 21:40:22
Anyone know how to get in touch with Zazenducke? Babblemail me, please.
Posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2009, at 14:06:38
In reply to Zazenducke, posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 9:38:50
There was this small window of opportunity in the minutes before zazenducke's last block (how long was that? how long was alex's? how long was verne's?) when the babblemail thing was switched on.
Posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2009, at 14:09:14
In reply to Re: blocked for 52 weeks » zazenducke, posted by Dr. Bob on February 26, 2009, at 22:17:03
I see.
and 52 weeks this time.
for saying the deputies are inconsistent
Really!
You don't get a lot of time to chat with these people.
Posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2009, at 14:12:22
In reply to Re: blocked for 52 weeks...so? » Dr. Bob, posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 9:36:31
>Am I correct in thinking that a person can come here and post and become a part of this community and they cannot say that their belief is that the deputies are inconsistent?
Oh no, Pat. I could say it, maybe you could say it. Of course I couldn't say it now, and maybe now not ever, and maybe you neither, but I could have once.
Posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 14:14:07
In reply to Re: Zazenducke » fayeroe, posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2009, at 14:06:38
> There was this small window of opportunity in the minutes before zazenducke's last block (how long was that? how long was alex's? how long was verne's?) when the babblemail thing was switched on.
Where is the consistency?
Posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 14:15:50
In reply to Re: blocked for 52 weeks...so? » fayeroe, posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2009, at 14:12:22
Tell me about the olden days, please.
Posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2009, at 14:16:06
In reply to Re: Zazenducke » Sigismund, posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 14:14:07
>Where is the consistency?
I can't see it.
Posted by 10derHeart on February 27, 2009, at 15:05:29
In reply to Zazenducke, posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 9:38:50
You could Babblemail Zazenducke, and give your email address? Since s/he can only receive while blocked, but not send.
Babblemail seems to be on as of now.
Posted by fayeroe on February 27, 2009, at 15:13:27
In reply to Re: Zazenducke » fayeroe, posted by 10derHeart on February 27, 2009, at 15:05:29
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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