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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by LynneDa on April 13, 2004, at 13:58:10
In reply to Re: married » LynneDa, posted by KathrynLex on April 13, 2004, at 13:21:21
She is pretty wise! It took me A LOT of years, relationships and therapy to work that habit out of my system, but I think I've pretty well got it kicked. Having mental instabilities helped cuz I was too emotionally exhausted to twist myself in knots for someone else! It was actually a relief :-)
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The best advice my Mom ever gave me was to work on making myself the best me I could be vs. making myself into something I think a guy would want.
>
> Hi Lynne,
>
> That's such great advice. I don't know why women have the habit of trying to change themselves for men, but they do. (I hate to admit I'm guilty of doing it! I have since gotten out of the habit.)
>
> It's too exhausting to try and be something for someone else...and if you do change to meet the needs of another person you discover that your own needs aren't being met. It makes for a very unhappy and exhausting relationship.
>
> Your mother was a wise woman.
>
> K.
Posted by LynneDa on April 13, 2004, at 13:59:54
In reply to RE::: Welcome Home Mrs C??, posted by sexylexy on April 13, 2004, at 13:52:23
Mrs. C. -
Are you back yet or is it just a rumor? I hope you had a wonderful time and we'd love to hear all about it. I missed your postings!!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Mrs. C!
> We missed you. So glad you are back!!!
> God Bless,
> Lexy
Posted by KathrynLex on April 13, 2004, at 14:01:20
In reply to RE:: Hey Lexy, posted by sexylexy on April 13, 2004, at 13:54:34
Hi Lexy,
You sound like you're in a wonderful mood. I'm so happy to see that you are doing better! Wow, only 9 days to go...that's excellent.
Have a great time at the shelter, and let us know how it goes.
K.
Posted by sexylexy on April 13, 2004, at 14:09:57
In reply to Re: married » Magdalena, posted by KathrynLex on April 13, 2004, at 13:17:03
Hey Guys,
I just wanted to put my two cents in about the marriage thing. Ya'll know I am 24 and have a boyfriend who is back home. In total, we have spent 11 of our 15 months together long distance. We are seriously considering getting married and will probably do so in a year. I can say that our relationship has not been a fairy tale. It is so hard to conduct a relationship when you are 9.5 hours a way and survive off of phone and email. Then, my slightly cocky, very confident self became depressed. He stood by me and was as loving as he could possibly be. There were so many times that I wanted to break up with him so he would not have to go though this with me but he would reply that he wanted to be there and see me though. We went though some really hard times, I know time he was fed up and times I were to. We both shed a lot of tears and there are things about him that make me crazy. However, all in all I love him, he is a kind good person. We have a lot of fun together and can act really goofy. We are always there for each other in good times and in bad. We share a love of God and try to do right by him. We do the best we can in life and feel like we are stronger together then we could be apart. Of course there is a lot of sweetness and romance but the jist of it is we are strong for each other and we love each other. Will we be together for ever and ever, Im not a fortune teller but I hope so.
God Bless,
Lexy
Posted by Magdalena on April 13, 2004, at 14:37:44
In reply to Re: married, posted by sexylexy on April 13, 2004, at 14:09:57
There were so many times that I wanted to break up with him so he would not have to go though this with me but he would reply that he wanted to be there and see me though-
Hey Lexy, that is so me, i have only been with my boyfriend for almost 8 months but so many times i felt this way because i don't want him to have to deal with all this, my anxiety/depression the fact that i have to take meds/therapy....i just feel like he deserves someone who is normal and can go out anywhere and be up for anything without these invountary fears and sadness. He tells me support is what hes here for, he wants to be with me and says he has never been happier before, and reasures me that he wants to stick by me and help me get better...he's so sweet but sometimes it sits in the back of my mind, that one day he's just gonna get fed up and leave...just insecurities i know but i've always been a little apprehensive about relationships, it could be because i come from a broken home or it could be because my ex boyfriend of 5 years was unfaithful to me and broke my heart and possibly my faith. I try to see it this way, that the faith part is up to me, that its in my hands, i choose to have faith and be positive despite the negatives that i have had to deal with, i tell myself that everybody goes to some degrees of hurt and thats what makes us human. I just need to learn to accept and not overanalyze situations that most likely will never occur and so it’s pointless to get all upset over them. Easier said than done but i think i am slowly getting better with this...
Im happy to hear that you are almost done school! Home in 9 days eh? such a wonderful feeling it must be, you deserve it!
Have a great day, sorry for the babble, just could relate to what you said.
;)Mag
Posted by Magdalena on April 13, 2004, at 14:50:30
In reply to Re: married » Magdalena, posted by LynneDa on April 13, 2004, at 11:53:38
hey Lynne,
thanks for the post, that was some great advice about trying to better myself and not to try to be what someone else wants. You are right because i think that If i am myself at all times then i could only be Loved for being myself and not some reformed synthetic version...does that make sense? I love my boyfriend but i am guilty of being very objective in relationships and its when i let go of that and just let my feelings take over is when i am happiest, its just my fear of getting hurt that keeps me behind a wall..the wall is getting smaller and i think i am taking the right steps towards recovery.I think my biigest fear about relationships is losing my identity and becoming overly dependant on someone...man i think i need more therapy! LOL..thats ok i only started therapy a week ago, im sure eventually all this will come up.
here i go again...blah blah blah..ignore me i am on a sugar high...;)
Lynne you are truly wonderful.
Mag
Posted by LynneDa on April 13, 2004, at 15:06:54
In reply to Re: married » LynneDa, posted by Magdalena on April 13, 2004, at 14:50:30
> Thank you Mag, you're so sweet! You'll find your way. You're very insightful, introspective and kind. Heck, I'm 40 & just figured out what I was doing wrong a few years ago!
For so many years I focused on my ex-husband's issues, mine conveniently got pushed aside! Having a child really made me realize how important my stability is & I really started working. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I'm getting closer.
I totally understand your comments about when you are yourself you're at your happiest - that's a good thing to remember & work to incorporate into your personality. The over-dependence thing is something to keep watch over and even discuss with your boyfriend so he understands your reticence in certain areas. My husband was very understanding and went carefully & slowly in helping to dismantle my walls.
You sound like you are doing so well and have come a long way in a short time. You should be very proud of yourself!!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>hey Lynne,
> thanks for the post, that was some great advice about trying to better myself and not to try to be what someone else wants. You are right because i think that If i am myself at all times then i could only be Loved for being myself and not some reformed synthetic version...does that make sense? I love my boyfriend but i am guilty of being very objective in relationships and its when i let go of that and just let my feelings take over is when i am happiest, its just my fear of getting hurt that keeps me behind a wall..the wall is getting smaller and i think i am taking the right steps towards recovery.
>
> I think my biigest fear about relationships is losing my identity and becoming overly dependant on someone...man i think i need more therapy! LOL..thats ok i only started therapy a week ago, im sure eventually all this will come up.
>
> here i go again...blah blah blah..ignore me i am on a sugar high...;)
>
> Lynne you are truly wonderful.
>
> Mag
Posted by sexylexy on April 13, 2004, at 15:14:42
In reply to Re: married » sexylexy, posted by Magdalena on April 13, 2004, at 14:37:44
Mag...
I feel you, I dated a guy for years that I was head over heels for, like the kinda love that I would have done anything for, He was unfaithful and I took him back time after time. Its like I could not help it. I know my boyfriend would never hurt me like that but I put up a wall anyway. I totally understand what you mean!!! Its so nice to have someone who relates!!!
Lexy
Posted by Gator on April 13, 2004, at 15:49:02
In reply to Re: married » LynneDa, posted by Magdalena on April 13, 2004, at 14:50:30
Mag,
I understand the "losing yourself" in a relationship. I have been married to my husband for almost 14 years, we've been together for 16 years. Over the years I really became dependent on him for alot of things and ended up losing who I actually was and he of course got used to all the power he was getting from me. I wanted me back again and talked to my Dr. and he put me on Lexapro. Slowly I became more confident and independent and my husband didn't like that he didn't have the same power over me. In December it all came to a head, he was drunk and thought he could tell me what to do and ended up arrested. The judge said the we could have no contact with each other for a month. I had to take care of the house and my 3 kids all by myself over the holidays. Talk about being depressed. But I made it through, my kids a pretty good Christmas and I found out that I can do anything that I set out to do. We have been back together since January 5th and it was a lesson for him too. He now realizes that I'm not the dumb needy blond that he thought I was and that our relationship was worth saving. We are doing great now and both of us are individual persons that are happily married.
Look at me...I hardly ever post and here I am babbling ...Sorry.
I upped to 15 mgs 2 weeks ago and feel really good. My Dr. said that I can go to 20mgs when I ready....I may stay at 15 for awhile.
Thanks for listening.Gator
Posted by LynneDa on April 13, 2004, at 15:52:02
In reply to Re: married, posted by Gator on April 13, 2004, at 15:49:02
Hey Gator - I forgot that was your situation when you first started posting . . . and that it had a happy ending! That is so wonderful!! Out of the worst of circumstances can come the best of outcomes. I'm so happy to hear the 2 of you (& you on your own) are doing so well :-)
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Mag,
>
> I understand the "losing yourself" in a relationship. I have been married to my husband for almost 14 years, we've been together for 16 years. Over the years I really became dependent on him for alot of things and ended up losing who I actually was and he of course got used to all the power he was getting from me. I wanted me back again and talked to my Dr. and he put me on Lexapro. Slowly I became more confident and independent and my husband didn't like that he didn't have the same power over me. In December it all came to a head, he was drunk and thought he could tell me what to do and ended up arrested. The judge said the we could have no contact with each other for a month. I had to take care of the house and my 3 kids all by myself over the holidays. Talk about being depressed. But I made it through, my kids a pretty good Christmas and I found out that I can do anything that I set out to do. We have been back together since January 5th and it was a lesson for him too. He now realizes that I'm not the dumb needy blond that he thought I was and that our relationship was worth saving. We are doing great now and both of us are individual persons that are happily married.
>
> Look at me...I hardly ever post and here I am babbling ...Sorry.
>
> I upped to 15 mgs 2 weeks ago and feel really good. My Dr. said that I can go to 20mgs when I ready....I may stay at 15 for awhile.
>
>
> Thanks for listening.
>
> Gator
Posted by Gator on April 13, 2004, at 15:56:41
In reply to Re: married » Gator, posted by LynneDa on April 13, 2004, at 15:52:02
Lynne,
Thanks, I depend on this board alot to help me realize that I am not alone. I don't post often but I still consider everyone here my friend. I am more of a listener and not too much of a talker. Thanks everyone!!!
Gator
Posted by Magdalena on April 13, 2004, at 16:01:49
In reply to Re: married, posted by Gator on April 13, 2004, at 15:49:02
>We are doing great now and both of us are individual persons that are happily married-
Im soo happy for you, and that it all worked out!! its so important to be individual in my opinion cause then you both have something to offer eachother, cause isnt that what beings us together in the first place? Power struggles are always ugly but mutual respect and a good self esteem i noticed seem to be what works for those that have acheived the same sucsess that you have.
your story made my day!
Mag
Posted by Gator on April 13, 2004, at 16:04:37
In reply to Re: married » Gator, posted by Magdalena on April 13, 2004, at 16:01:49
>>your story made my day!
Mag,
I'm glad I helped make your day. I am going to try to post more to give motivation just like everyone did for me when I needed it.
Take Care!!
Gator
Posted by Anakin on April 13, 2004, at 16:11:17
In reply to Re: INVITATIONS, posted by KathrynLex on April 12, 2004, at 23:31:05
You are a saint for the positive motivation:)
Posted by Anakin on April 13, 2004, at 16:13:02
In reply to RE:: Anakin, posted by mystic on April 13, 2004, at 6:44:12
> Hey Anakin ..You go girl..Now just mail them and your done...How are you feeling??...Have a great Tuesday...Mystic
Not feeling too badly. I have had an easy week at school for the most part, excpet I was late today and that always makes someone mad...
Posted by Anakin on April 13, 2004, at 16:19:00
In reply to Re: INVITATIONS, posted by Anakin on April 13, 2004, at 16:11:17
> You are a saint for the positive motivation:)
This is so silly but we had some extra invites and my beau loves the green bay packers, so I sent one to brett farve and family addressed to lambeau field green bay, wi...I figured the worst that could happen is nothing, and the best would be hed send back an autographed response card...I am always THINKING!!!I would send it back if i were famous, who knows he might not get it, but my thoughts were, it looks like a wedding invitation so someone might be like, dude, you got a wedding invitation...then being all famous and rich, do I know these people? HMMM maybe i do and maybe i should send them a gift PACKER TICKETS!!! If it works, I am a genius.
Posted by trucker on April 13, 2004, at 17:20:30
In reply to RE::: Welcome Home Mrs C??, posted by sexylexy on April 13, 2004, at 13:52:23
yes MRS C YOU WERE MISSED... WELCOME BACK.TRUCKER
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
> Mrs. C!
> We missed you. So glad you are back!!!
> God Bless,
> Lexy
Posted by mystic on April 13, 2004, at 18:15:19
In reply to Redirected Lexaproers, posted by jlynne on March 13, 2004, at 1:31:16
Anakin...You go girl you are too funny I hope that you at least get a autograph from that guy hahhaa..Take care..Mystic
Posted by mystic on April 13, 2004, at 18:16:39
In reply to Redirected Lexaproers, posted by jlynne on March 13, 2004, at 1:31:16
EM ...you found your way back over to the social...great to hear you are doing good I'm sooo happy you sound soooo good...As for me I have been getting killer headaches can hardly type I get them about 2 times a week think it is the meds have never had this many migraines in such a short spand of time....Will talk to everyone later...Mystic
Posted by Mrs. C on April 13, 2004, at 18:20:10
In reply to Re: married » LynneDa, posted by Gator on April 13, 2004, at 15:56:41
HI guys, I have been on vacation in Orlando this past week and just got back today. I really have missed reading all of your posts. I have been so busy these past few weeks that I have rarely been able to post or even read all of the posts (you all have been so active!). I am really glad that everyone seems to be doing well. I could really use some support right now though. This is the day that my period was supposed to come (it didn't). I have been feeling very spaced out and jittery all day and worried about why I have been feeling this way. I increased my dose to 15 last month and hardly noticed my period at all so I thought I had overcome that problem. But now this month I feel really strange. I did have to get up at 4 am this morning to catch an early flight and didn't arrive home until 2 this afternoon. I also did not drink any water today, just coffee. Now I know that this is probably why I feel like I do but being the obsessive thinker that I am, I could really use some reinforcements here! Thanks guys! Mrs. C
Posted by mystic on April 13, 2004, at 18:41:35
In reply to Hi everyone!, posted by Mrs. C on April 13, 2004, at 18:20:10
Now Mrs C..you just made me laugh so hard I couldnt hardly breathe no to mention I thikn I peeed my pants...Now you sit there and look at your post...You wont need us to help you out....You are too funny...You were up at 4 number 1...on a plane number 2 drank coffee all day no water number 3...pmsing even a little bit number 4 and honey I cant count any higher than that....You will be fine i'm just glad you are home and safe and been feeling good..None of us can escape all pms dms and ams all together what makes you think you are sooo special..hahahah..We're here for you ...Welcome home...Mystic
Posted by KathrynLex on April 13, 2004, at 19:10:27
In reply to Hi everyone!, posted by Mrs. C on April 13, 2004, at 18:20:10
Hi Mrs. C,
You've been sorely missed, I'm so glad you're back. I hope you had a wonderful time in Orlando.
I agree with Mystic. Also, you've been very busy and are probably exhausted. Drink plenty of water and get some rest. Chances are very high that you'll feel much better tomorrow. Traveling always takes a toll on people. Give yourself some time to recuperate before you start worrying too much.
K.
Posted by jlynne on April 13, 2004, at 19:42:22
In reply to Re: Hi everyone! » Mrs. C, posted by KathrynLex on April 13, 2004, at 19:10:27
Sorry I can't bring myself to post much lately. I'm headed for Babble Open, if anyone wants to join me:~)
...jlynne
Posted by Magdalena on April 13, 2004, at 19:43:47
In reply to Hi everyone!, posted by Mrs. C on April 13, 2004, at 18:20:10
YOU ARE ON CAFFINE OVERLOAD!!!
lol, just rest up, drink water and eat some good food,
but most of all sleep, sleep, sleep....
welcome homeMag
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 13, 2004, at 20:28:39
In reply to Redirected Lexaproers, posted by jlynne on March 13, 2004, at 1:31:16
Posted by mystic on April 12, 2004, at 19:31:26
In reply to Re: Paxil VS Lexapro » aspensm0mmy, posted by want info on April 12, 2004, at 9:20:18
Hey EM>>glad to hear you are feeling better we dont see you over on the redirected lexaproers very often We miss you...Mystic
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