Posted by alexandra_k on October 20, 2014, at 22:03:34
In reply to Re: science, posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2014, at 20:14:26
I phoned Mother.
Just because.
I had a feeling...
They told her she could visit on Tuesdays and Thursdays for an hour per visit. But that she needed to stay away, otherwise.
They really took the time to do it properly. Had a (her words) 'big family meeting'. And they told her that she obviously really loved her friend to be spending so much time there (yeah, it was totally about her friend)... And so on and so forth. And of course she was upset... But now she is mostly okay. She said she was exhausted with spending all that time up there...
She was full of stories.
Mostly stories which involved mother getting her friend wound up about various things and mother ringing the bell and wanting the staff to come and placate mother. I mean, her friend. Who mother had gotten all wound up.
A story about how upset her friend was that she wasn't getting this special nutrition drink that she was supposed to have / was used to having... But then she said that it was just as well she was there to remind her friend she was supposed to have the drink because she seemed to keep forgetting that she was supposed to have it! So... Mother would remind her about this super special super delicious nutritious drink that her friend was supposed to have... Don't you want your yummy drink??? Hmm... Hmm.... HMMMMM? And then ringing the bell and reminding the staff that she was supposed to be having this drink and see how upset she was that she wanted the drink and there wasn't a drink and where was her drink and see how upset she was see? see? SEE?
Then after they asked mother to go... Mother overheard one of the nurses telling her friend that the head nurse and doctor had decided she didn't need the drink since she was eating so well (though of course mother was combo force feeding her and probably eating more than half of it)...
It is really hard to listen to her go on about such things...
About how she went to look for more food for her at one point and the kitchen people said there is some stew... Or some pineapple... And Mother was like 'I'll take her the stew' and the kitchen person was like 'I thought she was vegetarian' and mother was like 'don't tell her there is meat in it and she will never know'. And then mother was trying to feed it to her and her friend was asking what was in it and mother was saying 'don't think about that - just eat it' and then the kitchen person came out and told her 'there is meat in it'. And mother was like 'ssssh she'll never know if you don't tell her haha'. And the kitchen person was like 'there is meat in it'.
And then they took mother aside (because, you know, they don't have better things to be doing) and explained to mother how she needed to respect her friends wishes. And how mother was like 'But she's got dementia'. And they were like 'But she's not totally gone yet'.
These are the things Mother will pronounce clearly. Loudly and clearly. About her own behaviour. And other people will listen... And become progressively uncomfortable... And repulsed by her behaviour. And when Mother can see them getting upset she will continue. She'll raise her voice even louder, to get more of an audience.
She was all happy... Because she was SO IMPRESSED at how they respected her friends wishes even though she had dementia... And SO IMPRESSED at how they were full of appreciation for how much she loved her friend...
There is something wrong with her. That she can't see how other people... Are repulsed by the fact that she... Uses her friends as platforms for her own dramas... Nobody would let her get near them with a barge pole.
What is wrong with her?
Is that wrong with me, too?
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1058481
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20141012/msgs/1072618.html