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Re: couple realisations

Posted by alexandra_k on September 1, 2014, at 20:11:00

In reply to Re: exhausted, posted by alexandra_k on August 30, 2014, at 17:56:23

i do spend quite a bit of time in bed. under the covers. i've never been entirely sure what it was about. it certainly isn't about the cold... i think i've worked it out. it is about the weight. having the weight of them on me. that's how come i've got a heavy wool duvet and a feather one... the feather one isn't enough weight for me to feel properly comfortable.

another thing... i've started to realise i have trouble saying 'goodbye' to people. as in... leaving social situations. i guess i thought it was about my not being properly socialised... and then smoking gave me a reason (and precedence) for sneaking out / off for a bit... anyway... i would always tag my leaving onto another person. so instead of saying goodbye to me they were saying goodbye to the both of us. and i'd just follow that person around while they did their thing of saying goodbye.

i think it is because i don't like the hugs and kisses or whatever. i cringe about it, really. and i don't like to be the focus of the group at any rate. and i'm not good at being patient and listening politely while people finish their current conversation and it seems odd to do that just to say goodbye. then there is this whole thing people do of being about ready to say goodbye then acting like they really don't want to go - the conversation is too interesting or whatever. like they have a kerfuffle about who pays for whatever 'let me get this' 'no, you got it last time - let me get it' and you make a social blunder if you don't protest enough or if you protest too much or whatever... anyway... odd, huh. but that is one of the things that makes socialising too stressful. saying goodbye. weird, huh.

 

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