Posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2014, at 22:16:05
In reply to Re: yay lorde » alexandra_k, posted by SLS on January 27, 2014, at 20:57:52
i don't know why people keep asking if i'm upset...
i am affected quite a lot at a certain time each month. it is fairly predictable... but i'm fine now :)
i do know about the 3 post rule...
and i try... but sometimes i fail.
i am feeling a bit bad about having gone off at the management people here about the cockroaches, now. my little friend has gone away. and i don't suppose i'll get them back now, that i know they are lurking, so i'm specially careful to clean up all dishes / crumbs from the sink each night. i guess it was more the thought of that before... before i wasn't especially careful about keeping things like oats or flour or sultanas or sugar in tightly sealed containers. shaking out my toaster after each use. now... i will be.
we got an email about orientation week. and... yeah... pretty full on... i... was going to not do any of it. but will be hard to hide in my room... and i'll hate myself if i try and be all anti-social. and i don't want to be anti-social really. so... i'm not entirely sure i can find the right balance. of starting off as i mean to go on... i don't quite know.
i just... really love where i am right now. i don't want to ruin it. i don't want to ruin it by getting to know people on the floor and then feeling like i've lost my privacy. to have other people noticing... then it isn't far from having other people commenting... then other people taking it personally that i'm not hanging out with them / that i'm ignoring them... then people turning on me... it's a pattern... it's why i need to not live with people. here is all wonderful and self contained. i can come and go as i please. i don't have to try and sneak around or be silent so other people will leave me alone. if i accidentally make a noise i don't have people around me making noises back in an attempt to (probably unconsciously) resonate with me in some way... i just want to keep that space.
find friends... who live... elsewhere.
hopefully... there are more people like me around than i fear there might be.
we got an email about speed flatmate matching too lol. poor poor people trying to find people to flat with. i'm so happy i don't need to go through that. i just... really don't like living with other people. so it makes it hard... i sort of have to pretend that i want to live with people but i don't. it isn't personal.. it is just... ugh. i'm so very very very very very glad that i don't have to go there.
interview tomorrow...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1059612
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140102/msgs/1059702.html