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Re: friends vs privacy

Posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2014, at 2:16:19

In reply to Re: calvin harris, posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2014, at 2:04:11

i am worried...

my time in australia... living in hall of residence... i made some wonderful friends. i mean really. some people i want to stay in touch with forever. and i have some wonderful memories of time spent with them. i mean, really. i think they always will be some of the very best memories of my life.

but also...

at some point i needed to move. into a different wing. i needed to have friends who i could go and visit when i was up to it. and who i could shut myself away from when i was up to that, too. i needed to be able to relax that people wouldn't be knocking on my door (we know you are in there). where i could just ignore my phone. where i could just relax into solitude. my sanctuary.

i don't know how to do that. how to explain that. how to be... without some physical distance between.

the 500 meters served me quite well.

and so...

here...

in a way...

i can't imagine anything worse than getting to know the people living on my floor. because if i get to know them... then they will know... they will know when i'm here. when i'm not here. i mean... i already know when stompy guy upstairs is home or not. i already know when guy next door is home or not. i think he has noisy girlfriend on this floor, too, and noise travels completely from the hallway so you always know when they are on their way in / out. if i don't have faces to them... it is okay. i'm scared that getting to know them will ruin things.

but.... i do want to make friends. i want the opportunity to have friends here. more of those good life friendships. sure.

and good memories too.

which... ar emostly drunken :(

my supervisor said (and i know it is true): you are a much different person when drunk. much... better / nicer / more fun.

and it is true.

i am less grumpy. more relaxed. i enjoy people. i'm desensitised to them. i find jostling fine. joking fun. teasing to be... how teasing is meant to be. i... really enjoy people when i'm trashed. really, a lot. and most of my good memoeires of them are of drinking and hanging out and chatting / playing with people.

:(

perhaps i'm just going to have to get fat and drunken after all.

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140102/msgs/1059617.html