Posted by Kath on August 14, 2009, at 10:08:59
In reply to Think my namesake's tragedy is mine too??, posted by Fivefires on August 12, 2009, at 22:50:58
>I don't think she is knowingly doing it, but m is taking everything I love away. Told me d/f didn't love me as much as I thought, but that he just had extra time on his hands ... blows my whole 'who am I?' away! It can't be true. We talked about it; he and I. I still mourn his passing now 5yrs later. Like she and others kindred, I was w/ him. But now she is taking this; I loved him so very much and thought it was mutual :((((((((( (?)
~ ~ Dear FF,
I don't know if I have insight on this.
PLEASE, please don't let her take that away from you. YOU know your Dad loved you & YOU know the close bond you had with each other. Please try to use what I call the "strainer method" in this case hun.
It means you put what she says in a strainer & only keep what you want & what is good for you. The rest, you let drain right through the strainer & don't keep it.
I think you have good insight about her feeling pain & sort of wanting to say to you something like "You think you're in pain? I have gone through more pain that anyone, including you!!!"
I'm so sorry that she basically isn't a good mother to you. Sounds like the opposite.
((you))
I send my love .
Oh - this just came to my mind. There's a story about Buddha. The Buddha was giving a talk to a group of people. One man kept hurling insults to the Buddha - all through the talk.
The Buddha just kept on talking calmly & kindly. At the end of the talk, he said to the man, 'Dear friend, I have a question for you.' So the man asked what the question was.
Buddha said, 'If someone hands a gift to you but you don't accept the gift, where is the gift left?'
The man said it's left with the person who offered it.
Buddha said, "Well dear friend, thank you , but I do not accept your gifts."I'm probably not telling it exactly right. But Robbi, you can leave her gifts with her. You need accept ONLY what is good for you.
love, Kath Please take care of yourself & I am SO proud of you for leaving the relationship.
PS - if there's a CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) group in your area, I suspect it could offer you tremendous support during this hard time. I think they might have online meetings or support for people also,.
xoxo K
poster:Kath
thread:911857
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090802/msgs/912071.html