Posted by Kath on June 25, 2009, at 19:55:30
In reply to I think I have a serious mental illness, posted by hayhay6287 on June 17, 2009, at 3:22:55
I am so sorry you're going through this.
My son has schizophrenia, & when it first surfaced big-time, I went to the Canadian Mental Health Association. The have a program called HOPE (Helping Overcome Psychosis Early). To me (NO expert by any stretch of the imagination) it sounds like you might be having psychotic episodes. I wonder what country you live in?? Are you comfortable saying? In Canada, there are programs called EPI - it means Early Psychosis Intervention. Intervention might sound scarey, but to my knowledge, these programs are to help people learn what is going on, understand what is happening to them & get help in getting the appropriate medications.
My son's psychosis was triggered by drug use. The psych said that he probably had schizophrenia, but that the drug abuse pushed him over into displaying actual psychotic symptoms. What you're talking about sounds ABSOLUTELY like psychosis. The VERY good news is that there are lots of medications that can help get rid of these awful symptoms. My son was on Risperidol & Seroquel. It took a while for the voices, hallucinations, paranoia, etc to diminish & eventually go away completely.
I do hope that you seek medical help. Sounds like you have, but that you've been afraid that if you tell the truth, you'll be "locked up". I don't know what other countries are like, but the chances of that happening in Canada (in my firm belief) are pretty-well zilch. My son was hospitalized at first - he requested it, because he was being 'told' by voices to do supreme harm to himself. So he went to the hospital to keep himself safe. This is a perfectly good reason to go into hospital. It doesn't mean you're locked in forever! It means you get help getting the proper medication to help with your symptoms.
That was about 2 1/2 hears ago & my son gradually went off medication beginning late last summer. He's been off for a couple of months now & is still doing well.Please feel free to keep talking about this here and also, please feel free to "Babblemail" me. I see that you don't have your "Babblemail" feature turned on. It allows people to send you an "email" through PsychoBabble - nobody sees your actual email address. If you have trouble figuring it out, ask on the Administration "Board".
I hope you post here again. I'm concerned about the pain you're in.
Kath
> I have been diagnosed as being bipolar, however I don't think the diagnosis is right since I have lied to every psychiatrist I have been to. I don't want to be locked up in a mental institution. I sometimes feel like people are out to get me, or like things aren't real. Sometimes I think that maybe I'm already dead and this is hell. I drive down the interstate and think about driving my car under a semi. I see movie type visions of me killing other people, usually bashing their skull in. I sometimes look at people or animal's eyes and think about cutting the pupils out. I have dreams about killing people sometimes. I'm sometimes in a daze and feel high even though I'm not. Some days I feel great and on top of the world and other days I'm angry, frustrated and sad. I get violent sometimes, punching walls or throwing furniture. I have racing thoughts and can't focus on one thing for long periods of time. I also have two way conversations with myself as if I'm talking to someone else. Does anyone know what's wrong with me? I know this behavior isn't normal, but I don't want to be locked up. I've never seriously hurt anyone, I've been in fights, but who hasn't.
poster:Kath
thread:901463
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090624/msgs/903196.html