Posted by Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe on January 7, 2008, at 14:46:48
In reply to Re: I REALLY need your help...almost suicidal (**t » Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe, posted by Dinah on January 6, 2008, at 21:16:25
> It's scary when our parents get older. Especially when we're close to them. I still haven't gotten over losing Daddy.
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> But just because they're getting older doesn't mean they'll die in the immediate future. I expect my mother to outlive me.
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> What do you like to do? A hobby can give you a group of people to hang out with. If eventually you meet a girlfriend through it, that's a bonus. But if you give of yourself, you'll likely get something back.
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> A while back, a woman from a group I was involved with died. When she died, she had no family. But there were more people at her funeral than I've ever seen. She'd given a lot of herself to the group, and she was much loved and appreciated.
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> There are a lot of different paths to a happy and fulfilling life. Sometimes it takes a bit of imagination to get there. Letting go of expectations or the belief that you must have xxxx in order to be happy. In the end you might get xxx after all. Or you might not. But you can build a worthwhile life, either way.
>
>
Hi Dinah....Thanks so much for posting...and for caring. It means A LOT...it really does.
Yes, it is so sad and scary when our parents get older, and it seems like you had a wonderful relationship with your Dad. I too have one with my Dad, almost to the point where we are best friends. And my Mom too, even if it is a little rough around the edges, there is a love at the heart that is just as strong. They didn't 'kick me out' when I was 18-19, but I did move away for a few years to attend school in Toronto. But, I moved back home after that didn't work out. I am pretty independent financially, so it's not like they are 'giving me an allowance' or anything..heh. I have a job that pays well, but it's not guaranteed full-time work, with all the perks, so until that happens, hopefully this year, I will then buy my own condo, townhouse, or home.
I've been trying to think of ways not just so much to 'give' of myself, but to 'take me out of myself'. I've actually been exploring religion and spirituality a bit. See, I already work quite a number of hours a week, and many nightshift hours, so adding more on, esp. with my bipolar, I don't want to sabotage myself. Maybe I'll see like if I can do work at an AIDS hospice or something like that, for 4-5 hours a week max.
I guess I am just really frustrated with the 'dating scene', as I see all of these so-called 'hip' people who are divorced, have 2 kids, a home, etc. This one woman I met, in the whole 20 minutes of meeting, she couldn't put down her cell phone! I asked her if she was expecting a call or anything, and she was like.."no....I just text message with my friends all the time". A 38 year old woman! And before we met, we talked great on the phone. When we met, she pretty much ignored me, then afterward said there was 'no way' we where compatible based on our conversation! Yeah.....sure.
I've only had one or maybe two of these types of 'dates' lead to something a bit more, and it was clearly my fault for screwing up, in the past 5 years. So, yeah, maybe it's all futile. But, I am going to try some reading based on what one of the other members suggested, see what happens. Thanks so kind for your advice....and putting up again with me...Jay...which I imagine some others think I am some sniveling, whining brat. Oh well. Take care....
Jay
poster:Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe
thread:804721
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080104/msgs/804851.html