Posted by Racer on August 26, 2007, at 21:38:03
In reply to Re: The future of a 37 year old Loserwarning.trigger » Phillipa, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on August 26, 2007, at 21:14:17
I always wanted children. More than you can know.
After several years of fertility treatments, it's all over. No children for me. You've still got a chance: you're not the one whose body will be rejecting embryos. You're not the one whose reproductive capacity ends entirely in middle age.
Sorry -- I'm older than you are, have failed by nearly any standards you care to apply, and cannot have the one thing which I've always wanted more than anything.
I realize you're having trouble here, but two comments from a woman who was single into her thirties:
1. If you think it's not going to go anywhere, it won't. If you think there are no women out there for you, there aren't. Self-fulfilling prophecy, you know?
2. It could be that the women you're meeting really don't want marriage or children. It could also be that you're asking too early on. For one thing, as women approach 40, a lot of us have figured there won't be a chance to have children -- so we'd better tell people we didn't want them. In the upper end of the range you're describing, you'll come across women like me: it doesn't matter what we want.
2.a A lot of women fear being seen as grasping for any eligible man, and may say we're not interested in marriage in order to get a second date, or a chance at an actual relationship without chasing potential men away. You're assuming those women are telling the whole truth.
Good luck, Jay. You're entering into middle age, yes, but there's a lot of time ahead when your wishes might still come true. I hope they do.
poster:Racer
thread:778928
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070803/msgs/778944.html