Posted by Kath on April 5, 2007, at 15:58:16
In reply to Re: A worrying day as per previous post » Kath, posted by zenhussy on April 5, 2007, at 13:22:26
> >>> My son is a BIG challenge for me in my "co-dependency" sobriety!!!!!<<<
>
>
> but you are doing it! recognize your tiny victories daily.*********thanks. I will keep it in mind to recognize them!!******
> sounds like seeking out some support of this nature again would be good at this time.***********I'm going to a Nar-Anon meeting Sunday night. I went to a couple years ago & they were excellent. It really looks like I'm going to need that specific kind of support (for families or friends of people who have problems with drugs). I'm looking forward to that support. I think I'll try to get a 'sponsor' who's had some years of experience.********
>
> he's so lucky to have you as his mother. that you're going to his caseworker appt with him and involved but also wise enough to recognize "I need to keep mentally healthy". these are familiar waters to you it sounds like and you're stronger each time as you know more than you did the previous go round.****Thanks. I guess you're right. I feel like shouting at God or the Universe or Who/Whatever & saying "OK -OK - I've had enough now!!!! I don't need to get stronger or wiser or ANYthing. I want it to STOP, please!" I'm actually feeling pretty calm right now, but I wasn't earlier.
I went over to pick up my son for the appointment & after much knocking at the door, he answered. He looked awful. Red puffy eyes, totally zonked. He said "what appointment?" He said he was too tired to go; that he needed to sleep. He looked pretty darned rough. Anyway, I went in & tried to see if I could talk him into sleeping a bit & then coming for the second half or something. But no. While in his room, (which was a mess, but that's nothing new) - there was a large dinner plate on the floor & a razor blade, so I suspect he'd been doing cocaine. :-(
Anyway I went by myself to the appointment & it was very good. His worker is so very supportive & we talked about all the details & I came up with a "I won't" list & an "I am willing to" list to help me set some healthier boundaries for me.I am concerned about that his friend doesn't have the April rent. BUT - I have to know that that's not MY problem. Partly I'm mad & I do better when I'm mad! Makes it easier for me to sorta "write off" my son....which isn't really writing him off at all, but just being teed off & not wanting to think about him & about his stuff. Jeez. I think there's a long hard road ahead. Who knows what it is. There is such a LONG history with this kid!!! (NOT kid - 23).
He's been on the street various times; the most recent in July/August. Maybe he'll end up there again. It is SO horrendous when that happens. I'm glad I'm going to be going to the Nar Anon meeting.*********> he's very blessed to have such a smart ma who can stick to her guns. sending you strength Kath.
******Thanks!!! I hope I can stick to my guns. I feel like I can right now & I must NOT go fast forwarding to him on the streets!!!!!
You're right one day at a time & if necessary, one minute at a time. I'm not there at all right now. He's got an apartment. The times I have found hardest are when he's out on the streets.I truly appreciate your nice comments, support & caring.
How are you doing yourself?
hugs, Kath
poster:Kath
thread:746294
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070322/msgs/747272.html