Posted by Kath on July 23, 2006, at 23:48:30
In reply to Re: Oh my God - Now my Test begins - news from B.C » Kath, posted by llrrrpp on July 23, 2006, at 23:21:44
I am SOOOOOOOO glad that either you're up late, or are in a different time zone!!!!
Thank you for your post.
I'll make an appt with my GP tomorrow. Good idea. He knows the whole story (since my son was 14 or so) so it'll be good for him to know what I'm going through right now.
I wonder if there are non-addictive sleeping pills. I'm going to check my cupboard after writing this to see if I have Benedryl!!
I once developed a dependency on HAVING Rivotril on hand. I was taking it when my daughter (now a well-balanced & wonderful 30 year old) was 15. If I started to get low on the pills I'd start to panic & the doctor said he didn't want me taking them long-term. So I remember what that felt like & don't want anything that's too "tempting" :-))
Thank God I have an appointment with the counsellor (who is paid for by my husband's work, short-term Yay) tomorrow - OH it's today now!! Monday.
I will be working with her on what I need & how to word it to my son. I think I need to NOT hear from him.
This afternoon, after talking to him, I went & bought my husband & I our drinks or choice: him Starbucks latte & me Tim Horton's steeped tea. I came home & had set up our mosquito net 'cuz they were bad. It's one of those princess-over-the-bed-nets that has a ring then this cascading net. I bought one & we use it outside - put out chairs under it!
Anyway, I am a very mild-mannered person. NOT prone to outbursts, etc. Well, I brought the coffee & tea & pulled the net open. I was having trouble carrying a book, etc & getting the curtain open, etc. I was doing deep breathing to try & remain calm.
So I handed everything except my tea to my husband. Then I set down my tea & the net spilled some on the little table we had there. I grabbed the tea, set it down on the ground, picked up the table, hurled it across the yard, grabbed a stick, broke it against the ground, stamped on an empty paper cup that was nearby, sat down, pulled the net closed & started to cry.THAT helped me realize that I can't do this. I can't hear all this upsetting stuff. I've had too much over the last 8 years....& I just can't do it. It feels like abandoning my son....'hey buddy don't call me'. But THAT is what I'll be working on; the wording - with the counsellor.
Son's biological Dad lives in BC, but son doesn't want to phone him since he's in the same place he was last time he was in BC at around 16. I guess he's embarassed, ashamed, whatever. I wish he would call him. Maybe he will. Bio-Dad is out of town & will be back Tuesday nite or Wed morning, so I am hoping that my son will contact him.
Thanks for your support. I really appreciate it.
a 'wobbly' Kath
poster:Kath
thread:669839
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060721/msgs/669892.html