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Re: NERVOUS BREAKDOWN - THE REAL THING » Phillipa

Posted by corafree on May 8, 2006, at 18:36:25

In reply to Re: NERVOUS BREAKDOWN - THE REAL THING, posted by Phillipa on May 8, 2006, at 13:27:44

I'm sorry.

As the day is progressing, so is this mess I'm in. Can't hardly make sense to write how I feel.

Had a person here doing some work (handyman) and took my mind off this for a bit; funny how that worked.

When he left, I think I 'slept' for about an hour. But I just awakened and starting hyperventilating right away. I'm eating carbs (or is it protein that helps Lar?) and drinking water.

I've called case manager, P, and crisis line x2. So far, I've been given an emerg. appt. for Weds. I'm going to take a double dose of Valium right now.

Seems only way to inpatient is thru' ER and taking my cigarettes away will throw me into incoherent hysterics within an hour.

It's my children (Oh God .. how I've loved them .. not them .. they won't desert me .. not them!!!) But, they are, and deliberately. They've got this 'tough love' thing going ... thinking it will force me out into this dang desolate desert town where I know no one or places.

They think by visiting me they will be 'enabling me'.

And, two are w/ my ex-abusive u-no-who, and he's 'enjoying this' ... making it humiliating.

I'm making no sense ... I'm having such empty pain in my solar plexus, and SOB, fast heartbeat.

I'll get back to u/babble in a couple hrs.

Thank you for being here .. love u and all, cf


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poster:corafree thread:641225
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