Posted by Susan47 on January 11, 2006, at 13:47:42
In reply to repeating old patterns? need advice!, posted by JenStar on January 9, 2006, at 21:33:06
> hi all,
> I suppose it's sometimes hypocritical for me to criticize others for falling into their same patterns, because I do it too.
>
> Recently I sort of "became friends" with a woman who I don't really like. She lives near me and does drive by's all the time, and calls incessantly. Even if I don't pick up the phone, I have caller ID, and some days she calls like 6-7 times, but doesn't leave a message - she just calls and calls. We're very casual acquaintance friends, but she is trying to be more. And I don't want to. And I don't know how to make her stop, because I'm afraid to hurt her feelings, even though I don't like her, and I don't want to hang out with her.
>
> She's unstable (not like I'm NOT...and not like that is necessarily a problem) but she's unstable in a way I don't respect. She's trying to squeeze money out of someone with a fraudulent lawsuit, and she has these weird schemes, and she kind of freaks me out. I wish she'd leave me alone.
>
> But how do I say it? What do I do?
> Advice is appreciated!
>
> thanks,
> JenStar
Wow, that's pretty gross for you. It sounds like she's obsessive, probably from anxiety, and it's completely taken over her life. It isn't you so much probably as what you represent. She needs professional Help, like the sooner the better. I think you should just tell her exactly what you've told us, but doing it without triggering her.. like, make it totally impersonal, like, ask her what's REALLY bugging her, tell her your suspicions about her drive-by's and give her a chance to respond or admit to them, but let her know her behaviour maybe is indicative of something else going on. She sounds trapped in her own head, no wonder she freaks you out. That IS pretty scary behaviour. She might not even be aware of how scary it is, and if she IS then she Definitely Needs Help. Because that's just malicious, then.
poster:Susan47
thread:597349
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060108/msgs/597953.html