Posted by Nickengland on October 14, 2005, at 10:21:38
In reply to Re: Thanks GG *trigger?* » gardenergirl, posted by Deneb on October 14, 2005, at 0:11:38
Hello Deneb,
Hope you're feeling better today :-)
>I'm sorry Nickengland, I read the post and I thought you were talking about how I should be in jail.
No worries...The way I posted the link and my intention was to copy and paste the professional help available. Basically I copied and pasted the body of the section of that part of the site which happened to include the information about police and courts as it was on the tail end...No way intended to suggest you should go to jail for what you post on an internet forum!
Also, I was having some trouble sleeping last night, I think its because of the darker days coming are affecting my body clock (i'm looking to buy a light box for this) but anyway I was pretty drowsy when I posted the messages I did, so I apologise if they appeared to be slightly unclear..
I thought it might be worth mentioning to you, I know of someone (a man) he's a distant relative who was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder afew years ago. Which is strange in a way because from what I understand, most people with borderline personality disorder, or a high percentage are young women, 75% or something like that but i guess he falls into the 25% of the 10-14% of the popluation it effects (in rough figures)
With regards to coming in contact with the police, he did. But not like how you would expect one to become in contact with the police for commiting a crime and being arrested and possily going to jail etc. What happened was he was constantly making suicide threats, or to the effect of that eg phoning people and going into detail of how he's basically had enough of life, he'd done all he wanted to do and now it was time to end it. He would go into detail about how he wanted to end it. This came to a head one night in London where he was found on Tower Bridge, kind of prepared to jump into the river Thames. The police were called because of the nature of his behaviour surrounding his actions of what he was claiming he was going to do, or what it looked like he was going to attempt.
He did not go to jail and was not arrested. The police involved however refered him to a London hospital for 28 days where he was assessed by a team of mental health specialists and was diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder. You see, I don't think at all that what you say on here, or more to the point if I was to suggest you should go to jail for posting something on here, then I would back it up with evidence etc and believe me you would know that I was suggesting I was saying you should go to jail! The traits that I see when you speak about suicide are identical to that of the man I knew (distant relative) who was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
I understand you must be under alot of stress when you write what you do, at the end of one of the messages you wrote above, you said "Kill me people, kill me!"
Killing or killing oneself can be viewed as murder. Murdering oneself or murdering someone else. I'm not saying you're a murderer! But you understand the nature of suicide is killing and killing can be viewed as murder, murder is illegal for obvious reasons and carries punishments of manslaughter, life in prisionment and in certain areas of the world the death sentance. Then theres insanity at the time of the murder.
What I'm getting at is, when you're thinking about suicide, you're not well. So suffering the effects of an illness which brings out thoughts and feelings that you want to end your life. The answer to this, is not to end your life. Its simply to treat the illness so that you do not feel this way and so the illness and pain is relieved, you are then in effect made well. Back to the man I knew, who took things to the edge and also before had an incident on a bridge above some train tracks. When he was finally diagnosed and correctly treated, his symptoms, including that of the thoughts which led him to such extreams have not happened since...
>Also, I have insight, I really do. I suspected I had a borderline personality even before my p-doc mentioned it.
I believe you're a very intelligent young lady. You knew you had borderline personality disorder even before the experts did which they later confirmed! :-) Don't look at this negatively. Look at this positively. You was able to find the problem yourself with your insight and knowledge which then leads to the solution which is knowing that the problem can be effectively treated. Think of it like this, when you stand to cross the road and a car rushes past you, your immidate instinct is to avoid the car ~ to protect yourself and avoid death. Think of this in the aspect of your thinking, deep down you know that you want to avoid death at all costs as its built into us that this is what we do. Be honest with the doctors, don't try to manipulate them to give them the answers you feel they want to keep them happy. Rather take advantage of the treatment options and use/work with them honestly which will then give you the ultimate outcome of having as close to 100% control over your life. In turn your grow 10 fold in confidence and achive things beyond your wildest dreams.
A suggestion, instead of focusing on death as I feel at your age which is the same as mine if your 23, you have a whole life ahead of you with so much to offer and focusing on death, spiritually must be bad for the soul. Instead of fousing on death, use your intelligence, insight and knowledge to read up as much as possible about how to effectively treat yourself to live in comfort rather than pain.
Your current doctor (the man) uses medications, I think he's doing the right thing, the medications will dramically help you to stop having these thoughts which in turn could lead to actions. Your old doctor worked more with talking. You feel your missing out on something there. The answer is a combination. If you have a psychiatirst which has many years prescibing drugs which will dramatically help you, think this will be to your advantage in your overall outcome. Read up on the various medications being used, check out the side effects, how effective they are, what willl they help you with eg, avoidance, anxiety depression, borderline issues, mood stability, possible psychotic thoughts. Antidepressants, mood stabilisers, antiepileptics, antipsychotics, benzodiaepines. Suggest them to your doctor, work with him.
Take advantage of Dialectical Behavior Therapy and CBT.
With all that energy spent in your spare time eliminating your pain, your find there will be no time left in the day for it to breed.
I hope this makes sense.
Kind regards
Nick
poster:Nickengland
thread:566599
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051007/msgs/566798.html