Posted by Gabbix2 on September 16, 2005, at 14:12:07
In reply to Re: I'm attention getting, posted by Deneb on September 16, 2005, at 13:22:14
> I think I can be manipulative, attention getting and dramatic a lot of the times.
>Deneb, all of us seek attention one way or another.
> Maybe all my posts are that way, I'm not sure. I think my posts above were that way. I try to be honest. Even when being dramatic I do actually get very upset when I say I am.
>I've never doubted that, probably because I know myself. There have been times in the past where I was in absolute gut wrenching agony, and though I knew my brain was overreacting, the agony was real. I remember being bewildered when I found out the nurses really though I could stop crying if I wanted too.
I would like to say I'm sorry, but if I don't stop someone told me that I wouldn't really be sorry.
>You can still be sorry, and say you're sorry, because you ARE. Whether or not it's accepted or understood is beside the point, you are sorry.
Having your brain just kind of go off on you is a really difficult thing to handle. And changing the behaviour is difficult, but yes, as most people don't understand, and for your own sake, it does need to be done.It's so hard because at those times, for me anyway, it was like a hallucination because my perception of reality was so off, but because it isn't a hallucination, I was expected to be able to control my reaction to what I saw or felt..
Sometimes I thought it would be easier if I had real hallucinations, then people wouldn't think I could just stop.Yelling at a flower and telling it to "bloom" doesn't work, it takes time, and effort, but it will happen. Meanwhile, if you feel bad about it, say you're sorry, some will understand, some won't, but that's the way it is with everything in life, and that's how you find people you can connect with.
poster:Gabbix2
thread:555443
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050916/msgs/555700.html