Posted by Angielala on February 2, 2005, at 13:32:08
In reply to I'm losing it today, posted by partlycloudy on February 2, 2005, at 13:02:00
standing in line is the worst for me too...
So you just went back to work from a 2 month leave- is that right? Was it a mental health break?
And I would be upset with the therapist too- that's not very professional. Ever think of saying "I need to find a therapist that can see me on a more normal schedule" to her? I know that might sound harsh saying, but it's a doc's job to be there, you know? Changing docs isn't the easiest thing to do eother- I know it's easier said than done.
Can you make a list? Make two lists- one for things that are "bad" feelings and one that is "good" feelings. There are no rules as to what you can write- bad feeling could be standing in line, or high anxiety- whatever makes sense to you when you read it back to yourself. For every bad feeling, you have to think of two good ones.. even if it's a good feeling from a long time ago or a made up one.
The act of making the lists makes you sit in one spot and think of only that for a while. make the lsits at home- where you can cry. make them here if you want. What you have to make sure of is that you give the good feelings a fair shot.
Mine from this morning was:
Bad
1. morning traffic when you have an old lady in front of you that doesn't use her directional and you are already lateGood
1. I'm not old like her
2. I have orange sherbert in my freezer for laterIt looks silly, but after I make the lists, I sort of step back and see how everythign adds up.
Just an idea.
For now, I send you my big Lala hugs... the kind that knock the wind out of you and make you giggle...
> 2nd bad day in a row. Not handling work well; had a simple task to do today and I worried about it all night. It is such a little thing and my mind is blowing everything up into enormous proportions. I got the task done first thing today and I'm still worked up over it. I imagine that I have no credibility.
> My therapist keeps rescheduling me without a second thought and I can't even tell her how upset it makes me, because I hardly know her and she says, "well, things happen; stuff comes up".
>
> Babble is really only a part of it.
> I can't cry here at work, I can't. I'm supposed to be all better after being out for 2 months on sick leave. There's nowhere for me to go to collect myself. There is no collecting possible right now. I'm shattered, fractured, blowed up real good.
> I cranked up my white noise machine until it sounds like the ocean is lapping at my desk.
> I deep breathed until I saw stars, then forgot what I was doing and held my breath like a pearl diver.
> I went out at lunchtime to run an errand and my road rage seethed; I hated the people standing in line in front of me at the store... it is all no good, no good today.
>
> Angel Girl, forgive me please for being so forceful with you. It's the last thing either of us needs.
>
>
poster:Angielala
thread:451758
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050202/msgs/451789.html