Posted by jujube on November 10, 2004, at 7:56:23
In reply to Re: Who am I?, posted by alexandra_k on November 9, 2004, at 21:54:48
Your past does not have to define the person you are today, unless you let it. Throughout our lifetime, we grow, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. What we did in our pasts, is a part of the growth process. Sure, there are going to be things that we did that we regret and may be ashamed of, but that was the person we were then, not now. We are constantly evolving, learning, growing. Our mistakes help shape us. The hardest thing to do is to forgive ourselves for our past mistakes and bad behaviour and move on. I read somewhere that self-forgiveness is vital, and that only in an atmosphere of forgiveness can we have the courage to be who we really are. When we do not forgive ourselves for our mistakes, we encase ourselves in an emotional straitjacket, afraid to risk, create or feel. I think that during our lives, we change in many ways - our likes and dislikes, our passions and interests, our reactions to situations and people - but what I think stays the same and is a constant in our lives is our spirit, even if it does go into hibernation once in a while.
Another thing I read that touched a cord with me is that each day we can learn, from whatever sources inspire us, to love ourselves just as we are - unfinished and still struggling - and to live with our families, co-workers and friends as a kind and considerate equal.
Good luck to you. I hope you find the answers you are looking for.
Tamara
> Wow, I guess lots of people worry about this stuff.
>
> I don't really define myself relationally because I don't feel particularly related.
>
> But then I don't really define myself atomistically because I am not stable or constant enough.
>
> Whenever I come up with something I think is part of my identity I then reflect on how at other times I act contrary to that.
>
> Perhaps I am just predictably unpredictable :-)
>
> But then alexandra_k is here (and in the archives) for all the world to see.
>
> In sum.
> In total.
> There it is.
>
> Don't know how that helps
> I don't know if looking through the archives would help me answer that question...
>
> My T says that I am the product of my experiences and so by telling him about my experiences I am telling him who I am.
>
> But I hate my past.
> I don't want that to define me.
> Please god.
poster:jujube
thread:413414
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041105/msgs/414140.html