Posted by fallsfall on November 3, 2004, at 9:27:57
In reply to Re: Family party - Next question » fallsfall, posted by annierose on November 2, 2004, at 14:20:50
Yes, you are right. I am looking for connection - and I'm not finding that with my parents.
Maybe I should start with my sister. I know that she is also interested in connection - so I'm sure she would show less resistance. I tend to be the one who resists connection with her - she is always the one who calls, she wants to get together but I don't, etc. Hmmm...
The "activity" thing is a good idea. At Christmas, there is an "activity" - and sometimes there is something to play with for a while later in the day - though not as much as I would like, it was a little easier when the kids were smaller and there were more new toys to play with. Still, we open presents, then my mother folds up the wrapping paper so she can iron it, someone makes dinner while the others try to figure out how to interact together until dinner is ready (I guess this is what I have the problem with - it is really an effort to be together. We sit/walk around trying to figure out who to talk to/what to do with each other. I believe that it is a big effort for every one of us. I don't want it to be such a big effort.)
Perhaps it is because we didn't have *connection* when I was growing up - my mother doesn't really "get" emotions, and my dad was/is a workaholic. So we don't have *those* times in the past to build on now (?). So even though we are family and have known each other forever, and lived in the same house, we don't have a common foundation. Each of us is more like an island in the same lake.
Thanks, this is starting to make a little more sense to me.
I also need to look at this issue in relation to each of my children...
poster:fallsfall
thread:410258
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041026/msgs/411015.html