Posted by fallsfall on November 2, 2004, at 6:50:54
In reply to Re: Family party, posted by daisym on November 2, 2004, at 0:16:36
When asked how the party went, my response was "it was fine" - because it was. There were no fights, no screaming, everyone was sociable and seemed to be glad to be there.
So I know it wasn't awful.
I guess that my question has more to do with how do "normal" families relate? I live 1 1/2 hours from my parents and see them 4 or 5 times a year. We talk on the phone maybe monthly. They are always happy to hear from me if I call (I think I am less enthusiastic when they call... hmm).
I'm wondering if this strained communication is because we really don't talk much. We don't spend time together, so when we are together we have to make every minute "count".
I feel that way with my son when he's home (and even when he was living at home). He lives at his dad's, so when he is at my house he is "visiting". He is happy and chatty etc. when he is at my house, but I have a feeling that I have to get in whatever I want to talk about really fast because I never know when he's going to decide that he is going to leave. So there isn't any time to just get used to each other??
My parents have a cottage on a lake. Sometimes my kids and I go and stay there for a day or two. When we do that, there are some good conversations over jigsaw puzzles. I almost set a jigsaw puzzle up for the party... maybe I should have.
I think part of the issue is that I know that I need to figure out how to be less purposeful - everything I do has a purpose, a goal. I find it really hard to just "be". I guess I felt like the party had a purpose (have children give reports on their lives to grandparents). Once that purpose had been fullfilled, there was nothing left. Isn't there supposed to be something left?
poster:fallsfall
thread:410258
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041026/msgs/410481.html