Posted by partlycloudy on August 30, 2004, at 14:23:56
In reply to ick ick, posted by shortelise on August 30, 2004, at 13:02:52
The guilt is derived from the company's pitch that anyone could do this job as much or as little as you wanted to do. I pounced on the "as little" and was told plenty of other people who worked full time were able to do this. I was also told that most of them abandoned all those 9 to 5's and were making loads of money from this part time job.
I don't like to sell things, but I know I can do it very well due to 15 years' experience in retail management. What I hadn't counted on was my non-existent client base. No family down here. No friends to intice. No takers on the neighbours (and I still don't know anyone's name in our condo complex. I just recognize and resent the faces of the women who said they would come, and then just didn't show up.). This made me feel inadequate as I was told about consultants who sold product and booked parties while standing in line at the grocery store. I can barely make it THROUGH the grocery store without crying, much less trying to talk to anyone. I don't even go into banks anymore, just use the robot bank in the wall.
Also, I started this experience a month before I crashed in the worst way yet and started my journey with a p-doc and 2 therapists. The timing was all wrong, but I felt that if others could do it, so could I.
But I couldn't. I didn't want to chase away the few people I knew IRL from working with them by trying to get them to buy my stuff. I offered, I gave samples, I did 3 parties in a year by way of these generous people.
It looks to me when I read all this that I went into it with a false sense of optimism and unrealistic expectations of myself. Also the worst timing possible. I hoped it would boost my confidence and self esteem, and instead it reinforced how poorly developed these qualities are in me.
pc
poster:partlycloudy
thread:384043
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040830/msgs/384195.html